I Think I’m Killing Celebrities

Wayne Wirs Is Killing Celebrities

Oh, no. They warned me about this. They said, “As you become more advanced in your spiritual practice, you may find you attain certain, mysterious powers. Don’t get attached to these!” They didn’t tell me I’d inadvertently start killing people with my mind!!! I’m not claiming responsibility for Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett, but apparently I did kill David Carradine and Billy Mays…

A few days after I wrote an article mentioning Kwai Chang Caine, David Carradine was dead (my comments on it here). This morning, as I was confirming the spelling of Billy Mays‘ name in my book-in-progress, I saw that he had died just this morning!

I had written the following about a week ago for my book:

Dark Matter

Dark matter is this mysterious stuff that physicists theorize has infested most of the universe, even though we can’t see it, taste it, touch it, smell it, hear it, ESP it or otherwise detect it.

Using highly sensitive instruments, astrophysicists have determined the approximate mass of the universe by measuring the gravitational effects exerted on visible objects. Unfortunately, according to their calculations, there is a whole lot more gravity going on out there than there is visible mass to produce it. In fact, scientist can’t seem to account for nearly 25% of the mass of the Universe. Where is it? How do they account for this discrepancy? Easy. They just make up a new term and ”invent” a new form of matter. They call it “dark matter” and they tell everyone who will listen that it is both invisible and contains no atoms.

Back in my software writing days, we used to call stuff like this “vapor-ware.” Software that the sales staff would pitch, rave about, and swear it would save your company a whole lot of money. Unfortunately we, the programmers, hadn’t written a single line of code of it yet. “I’m Billy Mays. Want to attract other massive objects completely and invisibly? Buy our clump of Dark Matter for only $19.95! But wait! Buy it today and we’ll send you a second clump absolutely free!”

Am I killing celebrities? Can I get arrested for involuntary psychic manslaughter? Is this how I’ll go down in history, not for unravelling the greatest mysteries of the Universe (and being a cool photographer), but for killing David Carradine and Billy Mays with my mind?

I know I shouldn’t make fun of this, it’s sad when people die, but you gotta admit this is pretty spooky.

Hmm…On second thought, I just had an idea. I think my money problems just came to an end. Anybody have the phone numbers of some rich celebrities?

It's Time To Wake Up

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7 thoughts on “I Think I’m Killing Celebrities

  1. Is this how I’ll go down in history, not for unravelling the greatest mysteries of the Universe (and being a cool photographer), but for killing David Carradine and Billy Mays with my mind?

    No Wayne, you’ll be remembered for that picture. NOW STOP THINKING OF ME!!!!!

  2. >On second thought, I just had an idea.

    That’s what I admire.. Practicality! 😉

    >Yeah, I’m thinking of using it as my new author’s bio photo. 🙂

    Tentative caption – “What, SIX more publisher rejections!!” 😉

    One more thought.. nix the razors (sorry nan ;-)).. in about twenty years we’ll compare beards.. You’ll have caught up to me by then.. Mine seems to have slowed down for the last ten or so.. might shave my head tho.. more of that ‘practicality’ thing.

    Interesting blog you have.. I found you via Mobile Codger.. ZEN/Taoism on this continent at this time is.. a real achievement. I may have to go mobile to find the community for which I’ve been looking.. for 30 years.. hmm..


  3. Amazing that happened to me yesterday/today. In the 1970s the Pittsburgh Steelers were coached by Chuck Noll. I saw an old highlight yesterday of his teams playing and I thought “I wonder what happened to Noll is he still alive?.” So I looked him up on Wikipedia he was indeed still alive at 82. This morning I learned Chuck Noll had died. Just hours after mysteriously and for no other reason than curiosity I wondered about the well being of Mr Noll.
    Keep up the good work Wayne 🙂

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