Insight into my Abandonment Issues from a Past Life

Past Life as a Taoist Monk

Note:

Many of my past lives have revealed a pattern of abandonment—either I leave loved ones, or they leave me. Though I stress that we shouldn’t identify with our past lives—thus adding them to our ego story—we can, and should, learn from any patterns that we see repeated in multiple lives.

A Feeling of Tension

Early yesterday morning, as I lay in bed, I put the headphones on and listened to my “Past Life Recall” mp3. I had been feeling lately like there was a key… something, that I was missing and hoped that the recording could help.

The Taoist Hermit Monk

During the session, I “awoke” in a forest, looking up at the light filtering through the trees after having fallen asleep during meditation. This often happened to me and I gleefully kept this a secret from others. I was a Taoist monk, living in the mountains of China – a hermit. A few times a month, I would have visitors who would seek advice or guidance with their lives. A hermit sage in the mountain forest.

When the session took me back to an important event, I found myself as a child, at the temple with my parents, meeting the monks for the first time. They left me there and the monks introduced me to the other children. It was not until the evening that I started to miss my parents, and not until much later that I realized they were never coming back for me.

I died a fairly easy death, pneumonia I think, but the symptoms were tempered with some herbs. I remember my vision dimming, then going completely dark. Moments later, the darkness started to clear and I found myself looking down at my inert body. As usual, I found myself being drawn upward toward the light over my right shoulder.

The Bardo Realm

Though the recording ended at this point, I stayed with the vision and continued with the breath technique.

I merged with the Light, but soon found myself torn from Her (the Oneness, Spirit, the Beloved). Strangely this time it wasn’t a traumatic event, almost expected. I soon found myself where I often do when I enter the Bardo Realm, on a white stone bench overlooking a serene hillside with a large, white stone “library” just behind me.

As usual, it was clear what I still clung to—the issue that had kept me from staying one with the Light: I still had anger at my parents for abandoning me. I saw, though—and this was from that life’s Taoist training—that there was a balance involved. My parents couldn’t afford to raise me, the monks provided me with a place to live and a profound education. My parents didn’t want to give me up, but felt forced to and did their best to see that I was provided with as good a life as circumstances would allow.

The Lesson

After the session, I felt a sense of clarity. A lesson that I had long forgotten—suddenly remembered. All relationships are temporary. Often they end unexpectedly. Sometimes you decide to end it, sometimes they do. Always, though, it is for the best, simply because to stay together would be unhealthy—full of tension, lies, or regrets. After the separation, after the pain and guilt, each person can get on with their lives—now in new ways, without constraints. Each person free to seek happiness in their own way.

A Note on the Photograph

This was not taken in AZ. I had to dig through my archives to find one that emulated what I saw when I “woke up” during that phase of the “Past Life Recall” session (you are prompted to wake up during a typical day of that life). The photo was taken in southern Oregon during a vacation during the Spring of 1995.

PS: Please Post Your Past Life Memories

I realized, after posting this, that I had no way for people who, using the Past Life Recall recording, to post any past lives remembered during their sessions. So as a temporary fix, please post any experiences you’ve had while listening to the recording on the comments section of the download page. Thanks!

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