Imagination and Frustration

Three Benches

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–So far the Truck Project has been a powerful teacher of Reality and the mind’s interpretation of it.

The project has constantly thrown in my face two very different views of the same thing: The Real World and the Mind’s World.

More below the break.  (What does “below the break” mean?)
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Natural Divine Guidance

White Stairs, Dark Exit.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–Consistently, when faced with a problem, I am finding that if I just do my research and then put off fixing/deciding/acting, within a couple of days I will see something that will trigger a powerful, right-feeling, answer.

Nothing magical about it. You’ve probably heard of this before. But what I am finding interesting is how reliable it is. Before, Wayne Wirs used to feel proud when he would figure out a problem with his brain. It made him feel smart and special.

Now I find it much more rewarding (and a powerful reinforcement of our “connectedness) when I just let go and let Her show me the way.

It has happened so often over the last year that I no longer consider it mystical–just a simple, natural (though not easily explainable), aspect of life.

I love it.

Looking Forward

Door and Handle and Lock and Window

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I’ve been looking at the maps lately, looking outward. Looking toward the Road. I’m more comfortable with the truck now–more confident in her–in her reliability, her quirks and personality.

Once the ceiling vent and windows are installed (I’m having them done–I’m leery of cutting into the walls and roof), I’ll return to the Road.

Initially, I’ll travel in survival mode. I’ll lay in a plywood floor to cover the current grated metal one, toss in an air mattress, a cooler, a camp stove. A bucket for a toilet, a pan and sprayer for a shower. A camp chair to relax and read in. Some containers to stow my few possessions.

I’ll head north in search of cooler weather. Maybe the rugged Maine coastline with its small harbor towns. From there? Who knows? I’ll go to wherever She calls.

I’ll build out the interior as I go, a step at a time, learning what works and what doesn’t. Like Life, you learn it by living it, you find your way by feeling it.

I’m looking forward to the Adventure. To this next phase of my life.

I hear Her calling to me. I feel her pull.

Stupidly Lucky

Two Big X's

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–(PARENTAL WARNING: If you are the parent of a stupid and/or accident-prone child, you are advised NOT to read the following article.)

As I’ve often said on this blog, I am a very lucky man. Being very lucky makes up for most of my stupidity and casual attitude toward danger. For an example of this Stupid/Luckiness Yin/Yang-type dualism, see my “Diabolical A/C Removal Project” below the break. (What does “below the break” mean?)
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Waiting on the Windows

Idle Hours in the Hotel

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I’m going to be here for another two weeks or so, waiting on some windows to come in for my stealth RV. This will give me some time to work on the interior. I’ve already installed the deep cycle batteries (2 Sears Platinum PM-2’s, 3 year full exchange policy!), an inverter (converts battery DC electricity to standard “house” AC electricity), attached a battery isolator (to charge the batteries when the motor is running), removed the shelves (by drilling out a bunch of rivets) and cleaned the walls.

I’ve got it almost to the bare room (blank slate) stage.

I’m in the middle of removing the gigantic A/C unit which will free up some headroom toward the back of the box. Turns out it comes in two units–the inside and the outside–so I’ll leave the outside unit in place to keep the seals intact (hopefully).

A couple of embarrassingly blah before and after photos below the break.

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Natural Rhythms

A Tree on a Dune on a Beach by a Pier

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–For the last week or so, I have been running from place to place, trying to find hard-to-find parts, assemble them, realize my mistakes, return them, and repeat.

Every day I’ve said to myself (because I need the income), “Tonight, I’m going to write code.” Every night I’ve been too beat to sit at the computer and crunch out software. Instead I veg out, sleep, and repeat.

My mind just works better in the morning.

So as much as possible, I’m trying to write code in the mornings and save the grunt work for the afternoons and evenings. I may not get the truck as camper-ready as quickly as I’d like, but the balance is definitely much more healthy.

I even get bonus material: Though I shouldn’t be surprised by this (I am still amazed it happens so regularly), every time I drop the “trying to make it happen” attitude – ideas, hard-to-find-parts, and resources seem to naturally (even effortlessly) appear on their own.

The Swirling in Our Heads

A Deer on a Golf Course

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I have been feeling really down since buying the truck. My mind has been filled with dreads and doubts and worries. My mind has been focusing almost exclusively on problems: Can I have AGMs and Lead Acid Batteries on the same circuit? Should I cut a window here? How do I get all these rivets out? After spending all this money and effort, what do I do if the transmission locks up? People are going to think you are homeless. No one will take you seriously anymore. You’ve made a huge mistake, you’re an idiot.

But all those thoughts are just the mind doing what minds do: worry, solve problems, protect (and criticize) the personal self. More below the break…
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Long Hot Miserable Days

Stealth Camper

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–After driving to State College, PA then to Gaithersburg, MD then to Winchester, VA on two of the hottest (record breaking) days of the year in an un-air-conditioned jeep, I finally landed my stealth camper. Slept in it last night (miserably hot) just to get a feel for it. Serious buyer’s remorse, but hopefully that’s just from spending 48 hours in unrelenting heat and humidity. I need to focus on the end game.

Drove it back to Newport News because I can run an extension cord out of my hotel room’s window and do some work on the rig in a deserted parking lot next door to the hotel (while sleeping in an air conditioned room). I’m such a wimp.

Why A Stealth Camper?

Victory Landing Park, Newport News, VA

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I’ve received a whole bunch of emails over the last few days asking why I’m looking for a “stealth RV.” I can sum it up in four words, “The Bastard Doug Coone.”

More below the break…

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The Buzzing in the Empty Room


NEWPORT NEWS, VA–My energies have been really scattered lately. Selling the RV, figuring out what to keep and what to let go of, searching for a stealthy replacement “RV,” working on the consulting project….

Yesterday I spent 12 hours on the road looking at used shuttle buses. When my mind came up with the idea, “A shuttle bus! That would make a great stealth vehicle!” it was all excited. As soon as I looked at my first one, my stomach sank. It just didn’t feel right for some reason. Maybe it’s the concept. Maybe it’s just timing. Maybe it’s fear smacking me in the face. I don’t know, but I walked away from each of them. I haven’t always been this way, but I trust my gut now more than my head.

Anyway, my mind lately has been racing and questioning and fretting. It’s like a beehive in there, all this buzzing as the mind tries to solve all of these “problems.”

But, unlike last year, I now reside behind all the activity. Last year at this time, I was the buzzing. Now the buzzing is just noise and tension that happens inside of me.

I don’t want this to sound like I’m anything special though, it’s just that I’ve come to realize (and feel) this truth. This “everything-happens-inside-of-you” aspect, is happening within you also. All it takes is just a slight shift in your identity (what you think you are). You are not the noise buzzing in the empty room, you are the empty room.