This is what it feels like:
During sleep, I’m aware of the Emptiness, the Nothingness. I am this big, open space staring off into big, open space.
Then I start dreaming and I’m aware of the dream and I’m aware that I’m watching the dream. Sometimes I can consciously interact with the dream, but mostly I just watch.
Then I slide into that “in between waking and dreaming” state and I’m aware of that, but now I feel a bit more solid, as if I’m gelling–coalescing out of the LIght.
Then I awake, and I alternate between the Light (ethereal) and problem solving (solid ‘ol me). General thinking doesn’t coalesce me too much. Fantasizing doesn’t either–but problem solving seems to rapidly solidify “me.” I guess that’s because there really aren’t any problems. Conditioning is just causing the thought, “I need to solve this,” and some part of me takes it too seriously.
When I catch myself feeling solid, it’s very easy–much easier than it was even last month–to dissolve back into the Light, but I have to catch myself feeling solid first.
All of us merge with the Light every night. Many aren’t aware of it, but it happens to each of us every evening. The Light is Awareness, the Life Force, the Divine Within, the Beloved. The Light is God living through your body–seeing out your eyes, experiencing Life through your awareness.
And every night you merge with Her, spend some time as Her, and then coalesce back out when the morning comes.
It’s really pretty cool when you think about it.
(On a side note, people I know “solidify” me too. Strangers…not so much. When strangers make eye contact, it’s apparent they sense something odd is going on between us. They feel attracted yet at the same time…disoriented, confused, vulnerable. It’s actually kind of fun to watch.)
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