Spiritually Clogged

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A question from a reader via Wisdom for Alms:

Hi Wayne,

I have been meditating with Holosync (currently on Purification 1 CD #3.) and it looks like the more I do it the more I find myself in a depression. I have no motivation for anything (work, personal goals, etc). I have less awareness instead of having more. I just want to know if I should continue.

At what point was it worth it for you? I keep reading about people who meditate and it just frustrates me since I haven’t obtained any wisdom like these people I read about. The reason I keep on meditating is out of faith and because people like yourself give me a little hope.

God bless your work.

(My reply below the break)…

My Reply

As I have found from personal experience, meditation has its uses, but is not the “cure all” of awakening. From your message, it sounds almost like you are “spiritually clogged.” I would encounter this once every couple of years (particularly with Holosync). This is nothing to be alarmed at, as it is temporary.

Here is what I would do when feeling clogged:

  • I would stop meditating. Instead, I would practice mindfulness. Simply focus your attention on the external world (not the internal as with meditation). When you talk with someone, focus on them and the conversation. When you eat, focus on the flavors and textures of the food. Note what “takes you out” of the beauty of moment: thoughts and thinking. Thoughts create the grand illusion and lead to the depression.
  • Practice seeing the beauty of everyday life. I took the photo above right after reading your email. I wanted to show that there is beauty everywhere. I got up, walked to the patio where there was this circular thermometer sitting on a dirty shelf and snapped a photo of it. With a tiny shift in perspective, you will learn to see beauty in everything. You will see the “Light” that I talk of all the time on my blog.
  • Overwhelm the “clog.” What I would often do when clogged is put the Holosync CD on and listen to it for 2-3 hours. Play the first track (Dive) once, then put it on repeat for the Delta level (second track). I’d read an inspirational book while listening to the CD–often the Tao Te Ching, but pick one that resonates with you. Within a day or two, I would often feel “unclogged” and open. Note: I mostly listened to Holosync while in bed and would fall asleep to it. Meditating in the traditional way for an hour every day with it seemed too “trying.” I still had great results from it nonetheless.

For motivation (which if you read my blog has been a big issue for me lately), I found some wisdom in The Bhagavad Gita. Let your actions be selfless. Do your work not for yourself but to better the lives of others. In other words, let your skills and wisdom and actions be a gift for others. Forget about the results, don’t worry about what you should do or not, just do what seems like the right thing as the situation calls for, then move on. This can be surprisingly rewarding and freeing.

In summary, much of what I’ve suggested is about letting go. Let go of meditation (for now and maybe forever). Let go of trying to get results and focus instead on enjoying reality. Watch what causes the enjoyment to flee (thoughts & the personal self) and soon you will naturally let go of those too. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Spiritually Clogged

  1. Hi Wayne (and Wayne’s Reader) … I definitely concur with what you’re saying, Wayne … I’ve experienced this same dynamic myself … as has anyone I know who has “made it” all the way here. And so, first, I’d say it’s completely normal. Second, I’d agree that temporarily “backing off” is a good way to go. AYP (Advanced Yoga Practices) is actually the only system I know of that as a system emphasizes the need for self-pacing. Doing this (self-pacing) can actually make a vast difference in being able to keep at it (meditation, inquiry, other practices). Many spiritual practitioners are like runners training for a marathon who pull a hamstring, and try to keep (so to speak) running through all manner of emotional and psychological upheaval. Self-pacing in spirituality is extremely similar to self-pacing in any other area of life: balance, moderation, backing off as needed … and continuing, otherwise. I also agree with your comment on teachings of the Gita; “Let Go and Let Flow” … it’s all that constricted thinking that makes it all so difficult (thinking about being depressed or unmotivated is a thousand times worse than simply feeling depressed or demotivated; primarily because all such feelings are much more a moment to moment phenomenon than conditioned mind tends to think). I hope this is helpful.

  2. That principle also works for weight loss. Sometimes it’s better to cheat after a certain time for two reasons: (1) the psychological thrill of doing something “forbidden”, and (2) giving your body a surprise for a day so that it doesn’t “plateau” and keeps burning energy.

    Speaking of –don’t worry ’bout me. The new area has a gym! Should take a month or two for my hyper metabolism to kick in again; then I’ll be a bit like our *other* brother. 😉

  3. Wayne’s suggestion of getting moving is a good one. Get physical and get your energy moving again. If you are male, look into “the breath of fire” and try it out. Get outside in nature if possible. If you are female, explore your emotions and find some music that evokes different ones, and really let yourself have them fully. Especially great to do with a friend. Depression is often the resistance to feeling things fully. Find a good transpersonal therapist who is awake and capable of guiding others into awakening. This can save you years of meditation which can be a slow path. As for motivation, if you are smoking funny cigarettes, know that they are great motivation killers. If you’ve had a peak experience of “nothingness, no one here, everything is perfect”, know that it may be a temporary state and can mess with you motivation as it feels like there is nothing to be done. (Wayne talked about this in previous blogs). Depression itself is usually a temporary state as well. However, don’t hesitate to get help if it really has you in it’s grip.

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