NEWPORT NEWS, VA–(PARENTAL WARNING: If you are the parent of a stupid and/or accident-prone child, you are advised NOT to read the following article.)
As I’ve often said on this blog, I am a very lucky man. Being very lucky makes up for most of my stupidity and casual attitude toward danger. For an example of this Stupid/Luckiness Yin/Yang-type dualism, see my “Diabolical A/C Removal Project” below the break. (What does “below the break” mean?)
Some of the stupid dangers (and mystical luck) I encountered during the removal of the refrigeration unit (or as I’ve come to think of it as, “Ash The Evil A/C Unit”) from my stealth RV:
- Because of the way the bolts held the interior unit in place, I had to climb up onto the top of the cab to remove the bolts from the outside. While trying to balance between the leaning ladder and the top of the cab, I caught myself pinwheeling briefly. It was only then that I visualized myself falling upon the edge of the open door, breaking my back, and tumbling down to the concrete nine feet below. I was oddly lucky though, because (besides not falling) at that time I was working behind a Lowe’s and some employee had left one of those wheeled stair platforms back there. I rolled it over to the truck, which made a much more stable platform.
- Cutting one of the hoses that led to the refrigeration unit immediately released a sinister cloud of freon gas into the back of the box truck. No real luck here, just sense to know that breathing freon probably wouldn’t be a smart idea. I turned a fan on and took a breather while letting the back of the truck air out.
- Cutting another hose (which I assumed held more freon) suddenly shot a bunch of repulsive neon-colored anti-freeze all over both myself and the interior of the truck. I was very lucky, I mean REALLY lucky, that the engine wasn’t hot otherwise I’d have been scalded and burned all over. Who would have thought that radiator fluid would be used in an A/C unit?
- Ten minutes after the radiator hose fiasco, while drying off, I suddenly hear this whirring sound and that same radiator hose jumps to life and starts whipping around like Ash the Evil Robot (I’m the black guy in the video), shooting more green, sticky fluid all over the place. Luckily I had a 5 gallon pail nearby to catch the gooey mess. I ran outside and tracked down the whirring sound to a device in the engine compartment mysteriously labeled, “Custom Nefarious Auxiliary Coolant Pump for Diabolical A/C Units.” I was once again lucky that, in sheer panic, the very first wire I ripped out of it immediately put an end to its demonic and evil doings. (“It’s a robot. Ash is a goddamn robot.”).
After wiping up the mess, I attached the radiator hose that led out of the engine (up to the A/C unit) to the hose that led back to the engine (down from the A/C unit), making a simple bypass-the-Diabolical-and-Gigantic-A/C-Unit-altogether loop. I filled the radiator, drove back to my hotel room (feeling blessed that the engine even started after all that) and took a much needed shower.
Yin and Yang. Good and Bad. The Harmony of Life once again restored.
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