The Art of Not Fixing Yourself

Coffee at a Diner

I often receive emails along the lines, “How can I fix myself?” They never say it in those words, but that’s the gist. “I don’t feel the bliss, how do I get that?” “I’m not happy. How do I find happiness?” My answer below the break (huh?).

Where everyone (at least that I’ve met) goes wrong is that they try to fix themselves. They think that if they just meditate more, if they stop being so selfish, if they start eating right, if they just…. As I pointed out here, this simply doesn’t work. Fixing “yourself” is like trying to fix a story that exists solely in your mind (the personal self). It’s like saying to me, “Wayne, I’m dreaming I’m an ogre. Can you help me dream I’m a prince instead?”

All your troubles are in your head.

Or as Nisargadatta said…

“Nothing can trouble you but your own imagination.”

So how do you get out of this mess that is causing you such misery?

You step outside of the problem. You rise above it.

As Jed McKenna put so well…

The point isn’t to study and understand and cherish the bags of rocks we carry, the point is to DROP them (emphasis mine -ww).

Stop trying to fix “yourself.” See your personal self for what it is–a collection of thoughts–drop it, kick it away and–as your ego barrier crumbles from the lack of support–all your problems will vanish on their own.

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8 thoughts on “The Art of Not Fixing Yourself

  1. I would suggest that it is not very effective to just give up ‘trying’. The real benefit arrives when one understands that the small self/personal stuff is only a part of who you are (temporary/illusion/changing), and that the big Self within is the ‘real’ you (eternal/blissful/intelligent). With this understanding it is possible to ‘stop trying’ in an appropriate way. Some amount of effort is needed to get a handle on this Truth of existence, but with that in order, it is natural to let the small/personal stuff fall away.

  2. When I see these ugly thoughts coming up & pretty thoughts too, a refrain comes to me: “and this too shall pass”. It always does which constitutes many highs and lows admist this thing called life. The happiness is there but in my perception it is not constant; but it must be real because it’s always there between the thoughts.

  3. @Tim: Many of my shots are HDR, but not this one.
    @Terry: Terry, Terry, Terry. Stop resisting. Drop it. Drop it all and you’ll be free (I don’t care what Patanjali says) 🙂
    @Sandra: Yes! There IS a constant underneath all the ups and downs. I call that constant “Her.” See this post for a practice on stabilizing this awareness of Yourself.

  4. Enjoyed this. I’ve taken to almost being two people LOL. Actually, made a comment out loud and said “We’ll do it when I get back”. Yes, I was alone. I get it….

  5. @Debbie: You and me both. I’m/We’re always getting my/our pronouns confused! 🙂

    @Doug: No more instant for me. I just ordered you a super simple coffee maker from amazon (you should get it at your office next week). Figured it would come in handy when you’re out in the woods selling Doc’s Boxes to other nut cases civil war reenactors.

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