The Beloved

Lone Boat on a Vast Ocean

DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–I found myself in a large, dark, circular room, illuminated by a single column of light in its center. Others were in this room with me, shadows sitting silently facing the Light. Curious, I stepped into the Light and, to steady myself, grasped hold of a pole standing next to the column. Immediately my entire body was burned away and all that remained of me was my hand firmly gripping the pole and I was afraid and I was at peace and I was one with God and She spoke through me/the Light and said to those seated, “I so love you. I am so grateful to you, for it is through you that I can see Myself.”

This occurred in one of my 5 am “visions”–an awake, lucid, “dream”–while camped out in Louisiana a month or so ago. I was hesitant to speak of it for fear of diluting my message, “you must drop the personal self,” but now I see that dropping the personal self is only the first step toward full Realization.

Without a personal self, we have no will, no direction, no motivation. We find ourselves in Purgatory, in Limbo. We can “play” with the various states of enlightenment–the Oneness, the Passion, the Stillness–but we still feel “unsettled,” flowing, but without meaning, without direction. Circling around and around a sensed “Beingness” but never getting any closer to it. Dropping the personal self is only the first–but necessary–step to realizing the ultimate Truth: that we are nothing and God is Everything and We are God.

But God is not “out there.” God is the Column of Light within each of us. The “large, dark, circular room” is the interior of our consciousness and the Light/God is what illuminates it. The Light within each of us is what allows Her “to see” Herself.

To realize this truth–that we are nothing and God is Everything and We are God–we must surrender what is left of us, left after the personal self drops. We must throw our “self” into the Divine Fire, burning away any remaining remnants of our former identity. It is only through this sacrifice that we can join with our Beloved–join with Her and be Whole.

I thank each of you for helping me to acknowledge this Truth in my request for insights, and I am deeply grateful to each of you whom I have talked with either in person or via email during the last few days. Each of you, whether you realized it or not, revealed a valuable piece of the Truth: a pointer, a guidepost.

And though I have yet to find the courage to step into the Light without the “safety net” of the pole–the pole which keeps me bound to Wayne and apart from my Beloved–I hope that I soon will.

I leave you with this video, the theme song from Avatar, which, by some miracle arrived in my inbox this morning, not through a reader, but through a forum I follow, Nonduality Highlights. It is the song, I See You, and it says what I have just said–just so much more eloquently.

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2 thoughts on “The Beloved

  1. PS: You can see where I hint at the “column of Light” in the “large, dark, circular room” in my video, The Hourglass of Enlightenment right around the 6:50 mark where I say, “I suspect there’s a room farther down.” I made the video a couple days after my “vision” mentioned above.

    PPS: When the “blue people” in Avatar would say, “I see you,” they were saying, “I see the God in You that is the God within us All.”

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