Who (or What) Am I?

Lone Building on a Plain

BY A LAKE ABOUT 5 MILES NORTH OF BEACH, NORTH DAKOTA–“Jim and his Karma” left a comment on my last blog post stating basically that he felt I was just kidding myself about this enlightenment thing. (Actually, he left two comments, but I wrote this before receiving the second one). My response below the break (huh?).

I have actually been considering dropping the term “enlightenment” for a while simply because, like the word “ego,” it is filled with ambiguous meanings.

When my personal self dropped about a year ago, I was calling that enlightenment. There is no Wayne Wirs anymore. I’ve completely seen through the story of a special me.

But what am I then?

At times, I seem to be this entity that is looking out of this body and the body is filled with these conditioned responses to stress, desire, and frustration.

Sometimes, when the stress level is high enough, I get pulled into the situation and identify with it (no longer feeling I am the entity watching, but a person with a big problem (see some of my recent posts)). Soon though, I feel myself shifting back to the “watcher.”

Other times, I feel that all my borders have vanished and I feel completely united with everything that I see.

Other times, there is just “this”–whatever is going on at the moment. At those times, there isn’t even any experience of “me.” Just “this.”

So I have often thought of removing the term “enlightenment” from this blog because what or who I am doesn’t seem to fit the perpetually blissed state that Tolle, Adyashanti, et al., seem to project when they are on stage, nor the harsh coldness of the hard core nondualists as they keep repeating their mantra, “You’re Nothing. You’re Everything. You’re Nothing. You’re Everything.”

But, since none of these guys seems to blog about their day-to-day life, I feel it is important to talk honestly and openly about all that can be expected when your personal self has dropped. Someday it is going to happen to you and I hope you’ll find this blog useful: Expect the conditioning to stubbornly persist. Expect to feel contracted around family and friends. Expect to feel totally alone and unsupported. Expect to feel the wonderful flowing passion, the openness, the oneness, and the shifting perspectives.

You see, most nondualist today seem to me to be nothing more than glorified nilhists. They don’t seem to feel anything. They come across like Reality is some rational exercise that they have figured out. To me, they seem like zombies: living dead people. Don’t they see the Light that I strive to show in my photographs? Can’t they feel Her breathing, Her living, Her singing in every bird, tree, cloud, or breath?

Maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe something broke inside my brain. I don’t know. But here’s the thing: I see God in everything. I feel Her in everything. I feel Her in me. And quite frankly, I don’t give a damn what you call that, but I know the world would be a lot better place if more people lived this way and I hope, by writing about it as openly and honestly as I can, more people will.

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8 thoughts on “Who (or What) Am I?

  1. The not giving a damn idea sounds opposed to an experience of unity and peace. There is self, ego, competition, reaction, even hostility there. While applauding your quest for whatever IT might be, I think the whole “She’ and “Her’ deal is a personal decision, and having a rather megalomaniacal blog another subtly strong need by the ego for recognition….fame, even?
    I am suspicious of all spiritual ‘teachers’ who are so wrapped up in themselves while reaping the hedonistic rewards of fame (notoriety?). I literally fell into Tolle’s PON during a very bad spell in life, but, upon knowing that he has chosen the life of a rock star has put me off quite a bit. His teachings are as old as the hills, and geared mainly to American audiences. Thanks, Oprah! It’s fine that he had an instant awakening or whatever, but one would think that being given such a priceless gift, all he would want to do is live his life in bliss, help others on a more simple, personal level, and realize that $700.00 dollars to have a spot near him for awhile is horrendously, obscenely like organized religion. The latter also exists only to make evangelists very, very rich by preying on the gullible.
    I know I’m not saying anything new here, but I will say that,even though I am anything but a born again anything, I see the life of Jesus as one lived solely for his god essence realization. No more. No less.

  2. It would be interesting to see what J&HK wrote. After all he is anonomous.
    What say you?
    I enjoy your photos and comments.
    Guy

  3. Wayne upon browsing through our local monthly yoga forum the following words stood out and just felt to share also with Jim and his ..Dharma. It echo’s also how in every life lived there are the gems or flowers that emmit the fragrance of love and wisdom arise from any practise of selfdiscovery One who lives and feels and breaths in harmony with self automatically helps to inspire and guide; if one allows this..

    The sharing that you bring to life through the form of this blog is a celebration of unity of all life for others whom touch your life even just for a moment to experience the same essence within themselves. To help guide inspire and shed light and receive this in turn from fellow traveler friends. As the same substance of 3 basic doshas/tatvas or qualities encompass us all. This sameness is what allows us to identify with others. Even if our story seems much different than the others, the lightness of being is the same it is only what is reflected to us by ourselves that changes our perception.

    ” Only by much searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the moulder of his life, and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control and alter his thoughts tracing their effects upon himself, upon others and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation, utilizing his every experience, even the most trivial every day occurrence as a means of obtaining knowledge of himself which is Understanding Wisdom Power. In this direction as in no other is the law absolute “He that seeketh findeth”
    for only with patience , practice and ceaseless importunity can man enter the door of the Temple of Knowledge.

    Oh and feels good to add humility to this

    May the blessing of light be on you, light without, light within.
    May the blessed sunlight shine on you and warm you heart,
    Til it glows like a great peat fire.

  4. What is… is what is…

    The life force is working through us Now…

    Everyone is doing the best that they can…

    Doing Better is its own reward.

    When we know better we do better

    Warning! Non-Judgment Day is Coming…

  5. I don’t really agree with your summary of my comments, but I did get a big kick out of your hardcore nondualist mantra (“You’re Nothing. You’re Everything. You’re Nothing. You’re Everything.”). LOL!

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