The Death Assumption

White Flowers on the Patio

Many people assume that, at death, we just blank out. Nothingness. Blackness. End of story. This belief is supported by the “nothingness” we experience during both anesthesia and dreamless sleep. Combine this “evidence” with the common medical standard that death occurs when the brain stops functioning and you create a very common belief that physical death means the death of consciousness—that physical death means the death of us.

Unfortunately this belief is all based on a tragically mistaken assumption: The assumption that we ARE our thoughts.

But here’s the truth of the matter (no god or religion required): You do not die when your body dies.

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The Me Stream and the Life Stream

Leaves in a Fence

PALM BAY, FL—Yesterday, while writing code in a bookstore, a frail old man came up and asked about my laptop—a tiny MacBook Air. I could instantly see he was conflicted—he had a lot of questions to ask about the computer but he didn’t want to interrupt what I was working on.

What struck me though (and I am constantly struck by the simplest things these days) is that the Wayne of Old would have been annoyed (as any programmer will tell you) at having to “come out of the code” because of the interruption. But the funny thing is, I wasn’t bothered in the least, in fact, I found the “shift” from code to personal interaction to be almost mystical.

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Her Whispers or Your Imagination?

Two Leaves and a Stick

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In the last week, the topic of hearing Her whispers came up three times:

  1. Randy, Glenn and I discussing determining right and wrong.
  2. Reader Metta via a Wisdom For Alms inquiry about how to tell when you are hearing Her and when it is just your mind playing tricks on you.
  3. Andrea resisting an obvious prodding by Her.

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Another Small Gathering

Stones In A River

CANTON, TX—A few days ago, before knowing for sure if I was heading to Florida, I had decided to take the truck for a long test drive to make sure everything worked as it should before getting a trailer, fifth wheel, or slide in camper. I was in Denver at the time and had thought I’d drive to Grand Junction, CO, but after reading this blog post, I decided to head to Santa Fe instead.

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An Unforseen Direction

Santa Fe Windows

SANTA FE, NM—I understand now why, after nearly three months of staying in hotel rooms, I wasn’t able to find either a place to live or an RV rig which felt right.

The other day I found out that my mother needs some additional work done on her bod. It’s not certain how badly it will affect her, nor how long it’ll take, nor how long I’ll be needed down there in FL yet (if at all), but there’s no sense in buying a rig until I’m certain she’s OK, and there’s no sense burning more money on hotel rooms waiting around.

In retrospect, it’s good I didn’t sign a yearly rental lease on an apartment, nor find a rig that would just need to be put in storage for an indefinite period. She (the Big She) really does work in mysterious ways.

So tomorrow I’ll throw my bags in the truck and start heading back once again to the hot and humid climes that go along with the summers in sweltering central Florida.

With a little luck, maybe I’ll find some nice, secluded lakes along the way (there doesn’t seem to be a reason to hurry) and get some camping in. It’s always cooler by the water and I might as well get some use out of that nice topper (think built-in tent) that came with the truck.

Deliberating The Rig

Grand Canyon II

WHEAT RIDGE, CO—I bought this truck so that I have flexibility in what type of RV rig I can get—slide in, travel trailer, or 5th wheel. I find myself leaning toward a slide in camper—the kind that fits in the bed of a truck.

Why? As I’ve been driving around the country, I often see these intriguing roads that run off into the wilderness. With a 5th wheel or trailer, it is just too easy to drive on by, too easy to say, “I’m not sure where it goes or whether I’ll be able to turn around,” but with the slide in, you can pretty much go anywhere a truck can go. That is very appealing.

Of course there is very little room inside those things and I’m a bit concerned that the cramped quarters will get old real quick, but then, I travel pretty light. I don’t own much stuff and don’t particularly like the way stuff weighs me down.

More importantly, when you buy used and cheap and you change your mind, well, you can always sell used and cheap and not take much of a loss.

The Radiant Ego: The Ego Barrier

The Grand Canyon

WHEAT RIDGE, CO—A review of the ego so far…

At the Body level, instincts—when they are thought of as part of our self—are ego.

At the Mortal level, our personal story is ego.

At the Soul level, our personality is ego.

What is the ego of the Radiant level? The Ego Barrier.

The Ego Barrier is everything left which makes you feel separate from, well, everything else.

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The Modular RV—Part I: The Truck


GREELEY, CO—Today I bought a truck, the first step in acquiring my RV rig. I gave Jacob, the former owner, some cash and my fuel-sipping Escort (I’ll miss her) and he gave me a 1997 Ford F250 with an eight foot bed, a bed topper, and a little over 100,000 miles on it (not bad for a pickup).

When I ran across the truck on Craigslist (and drove it a week ago), it had that “light” feeling—the same feeling I got when I found the Escort—even though it has the “check engine” light glowing (but a believable explanation for it).

I like this truck because it is very flexible. It has a medium sized engine (balance between towing and gas mileage), a medium sized “build” (3/4 ton can handle more load than a 1/2 ton), plus it has a topper which can provide lots of room for storage if I decide to go with a travel trailer (nod to Randy). If I decide to go with a 5th wheel or even a slide in camper, I can just sell the topper.

A couple days ago I was in Bullhead City, AZ to check out my friend Paul’s rig which he was/is looking to sell. It too had that “light” feel, and I was ready to buy it sight unseen, but Paul didn’t want to sell until he found a replacement.

Still, I learned a lot from Paul when he showed me how his solar panel system all fits together and how to connect and disconnect a 5th wheel trailer. Useful stuff. Plus his girl friend has a strong spiritual leaning, so we were able to swap some “God tips.”

After visiting Paul, I had planned to head down to Phoenix because there are a lot of RVs for sale down there, but, as soon as I turned south, I got that “dark” feeling. Having learned my lessons, I did a U-turn and headed back east to Flagstaff, AZ. Cooler weather and a better feel all around. I called Jacob to see if he still had his truck for sale (I had looked at it while in Denver) and he did, so I drove all day yesterday and picked it up this afternoon.

I’ll aclimate to the truck for a few days until I learn her quirks and (hopefully) gain confidence in her reliability (damn that check engine light). Then start looking for a trailer or 5th wheel (or even a slide in camper).

Today I Almost Died (A Lesson on the Primal Ego)

Stones at an Arizona Rest Stop

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Yesterday, as I was finishing up my last post (The Soul Ego), I was wondering where instincts fit into this “multi-layer ego” I’ve been writing about.

To help me find the answer to this question—to show me via experience rather than theory—She, in Her divine wisdom and love, sent forth a semi tractor trailer to kill me.

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