Dark Nights of Anger

Screen Door after the Rain

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK—About a month ago, while I was staying at my parents, I experienced two powerful dark nights of anger.

Two nights—separated by about a week—where dark repressed anger from my old solid self overwhelmed me. Lying in bed alone in the dark, I was helpless to control these emotions.

In the sense that these deep repressed emotions poured out of my unconsciousness, these nights were similar to my Dark Night of the Soul (though much milder). Old anger poured outward, and a separate clear, loving “me” accepted it.

The funny thing is, not for one nanosecond was I angry at anything real—none of the anger was based on Reality. Only the past. Only non-existant pieces of mental fluff. I was mad at a bunch of Hortons.

Even though I knew I was mad at nothing, it didn’t make my suffering any easier.

On the flip side, I felt completely clear afterwards and I continue to, to this day. After each “purification,” I felt as if some dark and heavy weight—a weight that I didn’t know I even carried—had fallen away.

It’s all part of the process. The letting go. The surrendering.

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2 thoughts on “Dark Nights of Anger

  1. Hi Wayne,I just want to thank you>Her>It>That Which Is, for letting me hear these words.For reminding that part of me that gets caught up in the drama.I too am in the process of surrendering what I believed myself to be.

  2. When Hortons appear in my mind , i just allow it to be there for a while. Letting go was very painful at the beginning, but with practice the power of Hortons and its pain decreased. Now the old conditioning remains. It may take some time to settle down the old patterns of thoughts. I’m learning to see them as expressions of my Being with love.

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