Today I Almost Died (A Lesson on the Primal Ego)

Stones at an Arizona Rest Stop

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Yesterday, as I was finishing up my last post (The Soul Ego), I was wondering where instincts fit into this “multi-layer ego” I’ve been writing about.

To help me find the answer to this question—to show me via experience rather than theory—She, in Her divine wisdom and love, sent forth a semi tractor trailer to kill me.

More below the break (huh?).

How My Body Reacts to Danger

Of course She didn’t INTENDED to kill me, but at the time I didn’t realize that.

Driving westward along I-40 today, I was passing an eighteen wheel semi tractor trailer when, as I was about half way along its length, the driver began to pull into my lane in order to pass an RV.

During this lifetime my body has been blessed with very good reflexes, and more than a few times those inherent reflexes have saved my life. Today, they saved me again.

When extreme danger is present, for me, time seems to slow, my mind clears, and I experience a sort of hyper-clarity as Life lives through my body in its purest sense. There are no “word thoughts,” just rapid, pure and somehow “deeply-connected-to-the-situation” reactions.

As sick as it sounds, I love it when I almost die.

The Unfortunate Tractor Trailer Incident

As the rig slid into my lane, that purity of reaction somehow knew that if I slammed on the brakes, I wouldn’t have time to get out of the way of the rig and I’d be run over by the back four wheels of the semi running over the top of my humble Ford Escort.

As I started to jog to the left to get out of the way, my eyes fell on these mysterious steel guardrails that ran right along the edge of the road (I swear they weren’t there a second ago), and which, if I hit them, would slow me down just enough to go under those said four wheels above.

As I started to swing back away from the rails, my body somehow knew that if I overreacted and swung too far to the right, I’d STILL go under those damn wheels.

My foot, completely on its own, floored the gas. My hands jiggled the wheel like a NASCAR driver to keep some space between the still-sliding-into-my-lane-semi and the immovable-steel-guard-rails-of-doom and, like the Millennium Falcon shooting through the closing blast doors of the Death Star, I shot through the rapidly shrinking gap with a good inch or two on each side of the car to spare.

And—just like Hans Solo—my body shouted a loud “Whoo Hoo!” and my arm pumped a vigorous victory celebration.

My point

It would be easy (and egotistical) to say that I did all the above, but that isn’t true.

It’s not true at all.

My BODY did all the above. I had nothing to do with it. I was just a helpless passenger watching it all happen. If I had jumped in and gotten involved and tried to take control, that quarter of a second hesitation would have sent me under those damn wheels and killed me. A semi running over a little sub-compact car at 75 mph tends to do that to a guy.

Body knowledge—whether they are reactions in emergencies, or lusts, or hungers, or addictions, or instincts—can easily be mistaken for SELF. They can be easily mistaken for ourselves… but they are not.

You can call this mistaken identity our Primal Ego; yet another layer to the amalgamation that many spiritual teachers and psychologists call simply The Ego.

The Primal Ego becomes “us” when we mistake our body’s natural desires and self-preservation instincts for our Self, but—as the example above demonstrated—the Primal Ego is just a collection of traits, reactions, and inherited skills that go along with having a body.

You are not smart, or dumb, or lustful, or nervous, or agile, or clumsy. You are not your body.

You and the Primal Ego

Where does the Primal Ego fit into my elegant map of Ego Layers? Hell if I know—it looks like I’ll have to do a little rewrite—but I suspect it may be below the Mortal level (the Body Level?). What I do know is that the Primal Ego is just another layer of the ego that we need to transcend in order to fully adapt to the Soul level.

Your body and its traits, good or bad, aren’t you. They’re just more clothing that you’ll end up having to discard at the end of your Mortal life.

You are not smart, you are not wise, you are not good looking or ugly.

You are so much more than all that…

You are Divine.

It's Time To Wake Up

Mystical Oneness and the Nine Aspects of BeingMystical Oneness and the Nine Aspects of Being is a step-by-step guide to enlightenment and beyond.

Available at:

Amazon - Barnes and Noble - iTunes- Google Play - Kobo

It's Time To Be Happy

The Serentity TechniqueWe live in divisive times.

The Serenity Technique provides 7 simple steps for inner peace… whenever you need it.

Available now on Amazon

It's Time Let Go

My Dying WordsImagine I have only seven days left to live.
Now imagine I share my last thoughts with you.

Available now on Amazon

4 thoughts on “Today I Almost Died (A Lesson on the Primal Ego)

  1. Frankly Wayne–God did it all and once again–Perfectly….
    Instinct Is pure asnd simple and not Ego but instincts actions can be hijacked by the ego as it claims doership of these actions. Ahh and thus our suffering recommences…

  2. I experienced a hydro-planing situation at first thinking I was skidding. Out of my mouth came the words, “bless me”, felt a presence behind my right shoulder, van did a 360º and came to a complete stop. All the freeway traffic behind me was lined up in a neat little row. (I wonder if they were applauding my “performance”?) An amazing experience!

  3. I agree with Jim: Instinct is not Ego. I have found that they are Lessons from past Lives that are so well learned that you don’t think about doing it — you just DO it naturally.

    So perhaps in a Past Life you were a race car driver. It would explain why you keep buying cars that ride inches from the ground…. ; >

  4. Two years ago while driving on I-95 in Florida i had a very similar experience involving a tractor trailer trying to enter my lane, while being in the midst of other traffic as well. The avoidance of a collision happened so fast that i can say that i didn’t even have time to plan an escape. It just all transpired before me, as though i was a more of a witness to it than anything.

Leave a Comment