Transpersonal Emotions

Empty Playground

Sometimes it sucks to be Awake.

My niece’s wedding was last Saturday, so I spent the night at my brother’s down in Coral Springs (Florida). The next morning, after breakfast, I felt a sudden and overwhelming urge to head back “home” to Palm Bay.

More below the break.

I don’t think my parents (who were also staying at my brother’s) picked up on my discomfort, but I’m almost certain that my brother did, because he kept giving me that “What’s going on?” look. Nonetheless—and not knowing why—I hopped in my truck and drove off.

As I was sitting at a light, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a tremendous and (as strange as it sounds) pure Sadness. Sadness with a capital ‘S’ type of Sadness. It was Sadness without content (if that makes any sense) and right there in traffic I started to cry uncontrollably.

It was both horrible and beautiful at the same time. I seemed to be feeling all the pain of all the people who were, at that moment, watching the 9/11 memorials. All those people recalling those terrible events, all at the same time.

It wasn’t the pain of those who had died on that day, it was the pain of all the people in the world who were watching and re-living it right that second.

It was both horrible and wonderful and heartbreaking and yet somehow pure. It was painful and it was beautiful and it was amazing and I’m not sure I ever want to go through it again.

I’ve heard some say that enlightenment is pure bliss, but I say those people are full of sh*t.

You feel everything; pure, raw, and powerfully, but—as I was telling one of my students—you don’t take these emotions personally anymore. They are something that happen inside of me. They aren’t my emotions, they are the emotions of Humanity.

The less there is of you, the more there is of Her—which also means that when She hurts, you hurt.

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5 thoughts on “Transpersonal Emotions

  1. Yes–lovely… this reminds me of Kuan Yin “who hears the cries of the world.” Not sure anyone chooses to be a bodhisattva–it’s not a ‘vow’ I recall taking–but it seems to come with the territory. This rings true for me (not sure if it does not evolve into less of a roller-coaster emotionally as more conditioning releases, it’s never over…). Sometimes it is transpersonal grief or transpersonal anger (yesterday for me) or transpersonal bliss. This morning I was feeling intensity of terror for quite some hours–and, I had to ask whose terror was this as it didn’t come with a story (as I’m still somewhat used to having to do some inquiry into a story as well)? It just wasn’t clear. I never got any answer. Just was with it as raw feeling. It’s no more personal than we’re personages. Yeah it’s not all bliss–not by a long-shot–although there’s a freedom to not being so identified to emotional rides. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Thats something we were never taught in school or anywhere, just feel. I dont need to explain it or run from it. to just feel. years ago when 1st learning to med i would just sit and all this stuff would just come up. but sometimes this kind of black omni kind slurry of all knids of mixed feeling would come up i found it very disturbing. in talking to my med teacher he said somtimes that happens a bunch of stuff just comes up out of nowhere for no reason, complete mystery. in my hurried busy life its easy to not take the time to feel. i think its time for a sitting.

  3. Enlightenment is accepting what is. What is, is infinite potentiality. That means every expression is possible, but now with full awareness.

    I’ve been seeing cycles. Cycles of emotions, fears, bliss, etc.

    Everything is usually calm and even when the thunderstorms come in Being everything is okay. We balance nirvana and samsara in that sense. The ability to rest no where allows us to fully feel everything.

    I do agree that it does suck at times. I’ve run away from truth many times and the results/suffering caused is terrifying. There is no going back. Surrender and enjoy the ride of purification.

    Hope you’re doing well sir.

  4. I don’t always know what I’m feeling. Since I am an empath I can easily feel what others are feeling around me. Trust me. It can be totally overwhelmingly. It is those moments that I talk with my spirit. It then becomes clear. Most times I can move forward. Other times it seems like I’m not suppose to move anywhere. I pray. I thank Spirit.for lifting my mind so I can gain understanding. I ask for that my thoughts and actions reflect my true spiritual nature of Divine love.

  5. Thanks for letting me know that it’s not me but it’s collective unconcious. I just typed that in google search ‘feeling pain of the collective unconcious’ and your wonderful blog came up. For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me.

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