Social Solitude

Pelicans at Sunset

Steele Creek Park, COE Camp, Whitney, TX—Over the last week, Glenn of and I have been hanging out about once or twice a day. Discussing everything from Solar Panels to Spiritual Enlightenment to Salt Water Flushes.

What I have noticed—and in noticing it, it has become a practice—that in conversations, I feel much more “contracted” (solid) than I feel in isolation.

An insightful reply to this observation might be something along the lines of, “Duh!,” but from my perspective I find it both fascinating and disturbing.

In isolation, most thoughts are no more important to me than random sounds—see my last post—but during conversations, the thoughts have a felt urgency to be taken (somewhat) seriously in order to participate in the conversation in a coherent manner.

Sometimes though—and only very rarely and only when I am consciously practicing it—I can step back as the Radiance (the thin, open portal) and allow the Light to flow through me-as-the-portal, hit the brain, get bent by the mind and converse on its own.

That is very cool when it happens.

But it doesn’t happen unless I catch myself, and I don’t catch myself nearly as much as I’d like to.

But I have faith.

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3 thoughts on “Social Solitude

  1. …. I feel much more ‘contracted’ (solid) than I feel in isolation. Alan Watts might suggest that it is, who you think you are ; a muscular tension, your illusory ‘ego’, mainly felt in the jaw and neck. In isolation you have no one to tell you what you’re supposed to be and how to act; your ‘ego’ starts to disappear. Interact with someone and you need that muscular tension of ‘ego’ to function on their level and not seem tranquillized with a speech defect. That feeling of lightness of weight not really noticed before, suddenly becomes apparent. I take it that you are talking literally and not ‘spiritually’. Just a suggestion/possibility.

  2. @Jimi: Thank-you.

    @Kevin: No, the contraction is not a physical thing. It is the felt sense of identity. It contracts out of the Vastness when I get caught up in the thoughts. Just conditioning, nothing more.

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