SOMEWHERE IN THE DESERT OUTSIDE ESPANOLA, NM—OK, I’ll admit they get my goat (and I can hear them now, “What? You can’t be enlightened, you have a goat!”)
Let me confess: I was a fundamental nondualist for over two decades. More below the break (huh?).
I thought I knew it all. I thought I had the whole thing figured out. “If I can see it, if I can experience it, it can’t be me.” (Two things: me and whatever I was experiencing.)
I understood Pure Awareness.
But I was still afraid to quit my job. I was still concerned what others thought of me. I was still afraid of death.
What a hypocrite I was!
I understood it, but I didn’t live it.
It was only when I said to myself, “Either I live it or I die.”
I was tired of being theoretical. I was tired of feeling like a hypocrite.
I quit my job and said, “I’ll kill myself when I run out of money.”
I meant it. I had (have) no intention of ever working for the Man again.
Fundamental nondualists are no different than fundamentalist Muslims or Christians or Jews or Buddhists or Hindus. They all believe in their theory of life and their mythologies and their stories and they’ll tell you that you are wrong (and imply you’re stupid) for thinking otherwise.
Fundamental nondualists believe the Buddha didn’t have desires.
Fundamental nondualists believe that you don’t exists.
Fundamental nondualists believe that the world is an illusion.
Fundamental nondualist believe that Ramana Maharshi felt only bliss.
Fundamental nondualists are full of shit because they don’t ACT that way.
Fundamental nondualists—each and every one of them—are hypocrites because they don’t live in accordance to their beliefs.
They talk it, but they don’t walk it.
Simple as that.
When you see through the illusion of the personal self, you are confronted with a profound paradox:
Why should this body do anything?
Eventually two amazing facts are revealed:
There are no atheists in foxholes.
There are no nihilists in enlightenment.
I wrote this post because I am constantly confronted with fundamental nondualists. I am constantly confronted with their ‘religion’ of what they think enlightenment is all about—with their belief in the myths of enlightenment (“You won’t have desires! You won’t say ‘I’. You’ll always be filled with bliss!”).
I write this post simply to point them to it and, if they persist with their quasi-religious comments, I’ll feel justified in blocking them.
I don’t even like to use the term ‘enlightenment’ anymore. They’ve ruined it for me with their mythological idealism.
So I’ve taken to calling it Mystical Oneness—an acknowledgement that I am nothing, and She (the Intelligence behind it all), is Everything. That this “thing” of me must function in the world, but which is ultimately “Her” flowing through this body and mind.
Don’t think I feel I’m special though, She’s flowing through you too, whether you realize it or not.
The less there is of you, the more there is of Her.
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