Advice and Fantasies

The Lock and the Knot

The Lock and the Knot

WICKHAM CP, FL—I get three types of feedback on this blog: Comments, Questions, and Advice.

I love comments and questions. But advice, yuck.

The thing with advice is that it is almost always based on a mental ideal rather than on real-world experience—it’s almost always based on a fantasy. Further, advice has built-in judgements (“You should live the way I think you should, not the way you are”) which can really be quite tiresome.

I tend to deal with unsolicited advice with two questions:

  1. Are you living up to these ideals you’re advising me to follow?
  2. And why should I live up to your expectations?

Now if they can’t show me they are living up to their own expectations (the first question), I don’t even waste my time asking the second question.

Unfortunately, almost all advice-givers focus on #2 (the benefits), but don’t demonstrate #1 (because fantasies are very hard to live up to).

Sometimes though, there are those rare people who get past the two questions, not only do they show how their advice can benefit me, but how it is practical and do-able… that they walk the walk. Advice like that, I take to heart and am deeply grateful.

Ironically and unintentionally, this blog is a huge piece of advice on living in Mystical Oneness (note I didn’t say “enlightenment” (the Emptiness level)). This blog acts as both a demonstration of Mystical Oneness (#1), and the benefits of it (#2).

I try to live as transparently as possible, and even though this means I get judged and criticized on a regular basis, at least you can see I walk the walk so that you can decide if living this way may benefit you.

The opaque Jim-and-his-Karma inspired this post with his judging and advising, but I’m afraid I failed to live up to his ideals and expectations and he failed to live up to mine (#1 above). I’ve blocked his future comments simply because he wants to argue thoughts and ideals rather than actual lived experiences (#1). He wants to draw me into his fantasy yet refuses to demonstrate that his beliefs can actually be lived.

My point: If you see someone you admire and you want their advice, then ask them sincere questions—I do this all the time. But on the other hand, if for whatever reason you feel the need to give unsolicited advice, be sure you can show you are living true to your advice (making it real). Because if you’re not, you’re just asking people to participate in your fantasies.

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8 thoughts on “Advice and Fantasies

  1. Prior to reading this. I was only reflecting on my morning to see that I was offering advice on stuff that I read and mentally believed in but not lived. Thank you for making me confront that part of me that easly dishes it out to others.

  2. Hi wayne I had a few questions. Like my other questions they’re a bit random, but who knows, maybe they will help both of us synchronistically like my last question 🙂 you have talked about Jed Mckenna before. Did you use spiritual autolysis to become truth realized like Jed? Also, do you feel you are on the same level as Jed, that is, truth-realized? If so do you feel like you can’t relate to people that well anymore? Iknow in past posts you have had disagreements with Jed about certain things. I seem to remember you writing a post disagreeing with his nihilism…I seem to have taken from his writings that he cant really relate to those who arent truth realized thats why I was wondering if you felt the same way. It almost doesnt make sense to me that that would be true. If you had no ego or no mind you were attached to wouldnt you be able to relate better to people. I mean you can only truly listen to someone when you dont have static going on in your mind. I also tend to think the mind is such a wall between us and others. It seems like if you were to tear that wall down or atleast not be attached to it you could connect with another human on a deeper level, even though they’re not real lol.So I was just hoping maybe you can clear some of this up for me. Thanks a lot.

  3. @All: Thanks. I was a bit concerned this post was too harsh, but She wrote it (it just flows out of me when She writes), but my mind said, “I dunno…”. Anyway, thanks.

    @Jordan: That’s a lot of questions. Most are answered elsewhere on this blog (you can use the search box at the upper right), but maybe I’ll do a post(s) to answer your questions.

  4. Hi Wayne! I stumbled upon your youtube videos and from there to here. I’ve gone back and read a lot. Such a wonderful journey. I was wondering how you feel the journey affected your art/photography (also wonderful by the way) Did your process change at all? Did it change the way you look at other art?

    • Hi Mitchard, welcome to the blog.

      I’d say the biggest affect the journey has had on my photography is in the ease it is to “get into the Zone.” Before, the Zone was hit or miss, later, around the time of Fading Toward Enlightenment, I’d have to wander around until “I” faded enough for the Zone to appear. Now, it’s as effortless as turning my head and opening my eyes (“The less there is of you, the more there is of Her”). 🙂

      • Such a great answer. Thank you! I think I remember you saying something about the flow of art in one of your video too.

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