Two Birds At Dusk

Two Birds At Dusk

WICKHAM CP, FL—I’d like to say I have a plan for the next phase of my life, but plan sounds way too concrete. It’s more like a general direction. Largely I’m just rolling with things as they come up while trying to find some harmony within them.

We’ve gone through all my sister’s belongings and prepared boxes of stuff and big bags of clothes for donation. My parents have decided to move into my sister’s condo and I’ve decided to “caretake” their current one.

(I like that word caretake as it fits well with my aversion to permanency—aka “fear of commitment”.)

I still want to do the snowbird thing, but I can’t see hauling the trailer north every winter so I’m contemplating solutions for that. I’ll probably stick it in storage until I figure out what to do with it. Ironically, Randy just posted a video (apparently inspired by someone else) called, “Don’t Sell Your Rig.” How synchronistic huh? She works in mysterious ways.

I’d still like to get a van, minibus, or maybe a Nissan NV and outfit it as a stealth camper, but things haven’t fallen together on that front, so I’m not pushing it. As I’ve learned the hard way, if things don’t flow effortlessly on their own, then it’s best if I avoid them until they do.

Flowing with life: once you get past the reflexive habits of self-control and self-concern, flowing with Life can be a remarkably peaceful way to live.


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9 thoughts on “Flowing

  1. Hi Wayne,
    I’m wondering if you use the method of setting intentions (other than the intention to go with the flow). Would you view this as self-concern or self-importance?

    By intentions I don’t necessarily mean outcomes but rather a way of being regardless of what shows up. Or setting an intention to have a new experience. And if She directs you to the right, are you not co-creating it with Her?

    • Intentions? No, I don’t think so. Nothing conscious other than “I’d like to say I have a plan” or “I’d still like to get a van…”. Nothing like trying or wish fulfillment (ala LOA).

      From where I’m coming from, too much effort toward self-interests is counterproductive to Oneness (self-lessness). It’s a balance of course—in the interest of survival—but self-interest can be a slippery slope, like a beer to an alcoholic. Old self-centered conditioning is easily awakened.

  2. “…if things don’t flow effortlessly on their own, then it’s best I avoid them until they do.” My goodness how incredibly true I have realized this to be. I don’t know if YOU’ve learned the hard way Wayne, but I has taken me the better part of twenty years to really realize this.
    “Find inner peace and certainty, and without any stress or strain follow the path that you know is yours”, said Eileen Caddy, one of the co-founders of Findhorn in Scotland, and although I still have trouble with that one, I believe she is right. It’s the stress or strain that tell us, “wrong option mate!”

  3. Speaking only for myself, I have two quotes I live my life by:

    “Everyday is the day we have to carry a vision of god’s will (as you define god) into all our activities. Saying to ourselves many times throughout the day, “Not my will, but thy will be done.”

    “Fear was like an evil and corroding thread woven through the very fabric of our lives”

    For myself, I try to weave a vision of god’s will (he/she/it) into the fabric of my life. That way I try to replace fear with “faith” and make it intrinsic in my life. I know that is very vague, but I think that has been critically important to me or else I get wrapped up in the details and I automatically become self-absorbed again.

    It’s worked pretty well for me.

    • “For myself, I try to weave a vision of god’s will (he/she/it) into the fabric of my life.”

      And from what I’ve gathered from your blog, you do a great job of that Bob!

  4. For some reason I am feeling a calm when I hear of your current care tending arrangement. Funny, I never ever realized I connected a certain concern for you out in the big ol’ world. I think it’s the stories of being kicked out of camp areas that must bring out the nurturer. Right now I know you won’t face that familiar happy struggle. As much as I resonate with your wanderlust and freedom of expressing non- attachment, I’m glad you have an oasis close to family until such time you feel HER calling you back to the road. I just took a deep exhaling breath.

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