Journal 1/10/13: Letting Go


Date: January 10, 2013 9:04 AM 

Letting Go of the Desire to be Understood

An easy night. When interesting and attractive thoughts would come up, knowing they’d push Her out of my bed, I’d sweep them away and rest easy with my Lover.

I’m finding the analogy between an alcoholic to his drink and my addiction to creative thoughts to be very useful in dampening their appeal. I figure if a creative thought really needed my attention, it will keep repeating itself for weeks and not fall off into mental oblivion. No need to chase it—it will chase me (sort of like the van and book ideas).

I pondered how to respond to some critical comments to yesterday’s journal entry stating opposing views and what the commenters seem to believe to be nondual truths. They are just trying to help, but they don’t seem to understand the Paradox or the fact that you can move beyond Emptiness. As I said yesterday, it’s the explaining that hardens/contracts me and pushes my Lover away—and I simply hate it when I lose Her because of my actions.

So I advised one reader who seemed trapped in the Emptiness level to read my posts from the initiation of the Illumination onward, and the others I just thanked. What more was there to say? I’ve been through everything they’ve mentioned—and either moved beyond it or come to realize they are just myths, beliefs perpetuated by conjecture. All those hard and painful lessons I’ve learned, I’ve confessed and explained on my blog over the years.

My thoughts of the moment are to write a book or two describing my perspective and experiences and just be done with all this explaining. Then I’ll be free to spend the rest of my time with both Her—helping Her to see Herself—and with others who wish to do the same.


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10 thoughts on “Journal 1/10/13: Letting Go

  1. Hope you decide to go with what you said in that last paragraph, and to also continue to journal here, in that same style, when you feel drawn to it.

  2. Wayne … from a fan … and written with love … Isn’t this website and this communication (and one might posit all writing) somewhat meant to explain yourself, even if only to yourself? Jim …

    • Hey Jim. Is writing explaining yourself? Sort of. You’ll see two distinct “styles” in my posts (something Mary Ann hit on): Explanatory and Narrative, or teaching-type posts and retelling personal events.

      I guess I’m wishing to shift more to the later. As a matter of fact, I’m beginning to understand why some of the world’s greatest “mystics” (Rumi, Whitman, Bacon/Shakespeare) used prose and poetry to describe their beliefs and experiences—in many ways, those are the most accurate.

  3. How does one know when they have “moved beyond” emptiness vs. believing that they are beyond it, but really have only begun to touch it?

    Is there a (describable) difference?

    Thanks, Jeff

  4. Jeff:

    Emptiness is very distinct: You realize at your core that all boundaries are of the mind.

    A lot of people—particularly online—fake enlightenment (the emptiness level) because with a little reading, you can understand it, talk about it, and basically “pose” as if you are awake.

    But most don’t realize that there is absolutely nothing to be done at this level. No reason to stand up. No reason to eat. No reason to swat biting flies. Everything is you and nothing is you. Everything feels the same. Everything is equal. Your body is no more important to you than that wall over there.

    Since you can’t live this way, either someone comes along to take care of you and you get stuck in Emptiness (think Ramana Maharshi and to a large extent Eckhart Tolle), or you “climb back down the mountain” (think Adyashanti and possibly Ken Wilber) and INTEGRATE the levels.

    When you integrate the levels, you use ALL the levels as appropriate to the situation—or more often than not, as influenced by your conditioning.

    But once you’ve spent some time in Emptiness, your values dramatically change, and you bring those values into the other “lower” levels.

    • PS: To see articles about Emptiness on this blog, follow both the “Emptiness” and “Oneness” links under “Topics” at the upper right. I used to use the terms as synonyms (so older Oneness posts are the same as Emptiness).

      Now by Emptiness I mean “enlightenment,” Oneness is integration, and Mystical Oneness is oneness plus She has made Her presence known to you. (What can I say? It’s a blog, not a book. 🙂 )

      • You are so lucky to know these ‘levels’ through your experience of them. I don’t want you to get too caught up in explanations, but I wonder if you could say something more about how you view the pros and cons of integrating the levels vs. being ‘stuck’ in Emptiness. Or better yet, maybe just say more about what it was like for you.

  5. Wayne, you wrote this:
    “Since you can’t live this way, either someone comes along to take care of you and you get stuck in Emptiness (think Ramana Maharshi and to a large extent Eckhart Tolle), or you “climb back down the mountain” (think Adyashanti and possibly Ken Wilber) and INTEGRATE the levels.”
    I really would like you to answer this one question, if there is an answer. And tell me the premiss for your argument.
    My question(s) is this:
    Why cant we give up and stop eating and let someone take care of us? Why is the body and our life important, even after seeing that it is not? If you are in love with the expressions of life you choose one way. But if you are not in love with the utterings? If you are emptiness as you call it, but all there is, as I would say… As I see it, we leave it to “what is”. How could we otherways be part of the flow. Probably we wont die. Probably we will flourish, but who knows. And how could we know? So what is the argument for making a choise and what is the choise based upon? Fear? Moral? I dont get it.
    Thanks for reading.
    You dont have to publish or answer this if you have more important things to do.

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