Sex, Love, and Romance

Nice Yard on a Dead End Road

Nice Yard on a Dead End Road

WICKHAM CP, FL—My reply to an email about the effects of awakening and your love life:

Hi Kathy,

Nothing is off limits as far as I’m concerned.

You said: “I have this idea that once a person is awakened/enlightened, that the need to feel special, or to make another person “special” goes away, negating the need for romance, sex, and marriage. Because one is “full” of love -is love- already, the need for these things naturally falls away.”

First, a favorite saying of mine: Never ask a fat man for diet advice and never ask a single man for relationship advice. So take what I say with a grain of salt.

There are living “enlightened” people who are married, Tolle and Adyashanti come to mind, and years ago when I asked Kim Eng if she and Tolle had sex, she got really embarrassed so I assume they do. But I got neither a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from her, so I couldn’t tell you.

From my experience, and I suspect most “enlightened” people have similar experiences, the body has its own desires: it gets hungry, it wants sleep, and comfort and yes, even sex.

From the Emptiness level, the body’s desires have no influence on me, it is no more important than the chair I am sitting in—BUT from all the other levels, the body does influence me—though it feels far more ‘distant’ than when I identified strictly with the Mortal level.

Now romantic love is a different animal all together.

I don’t look for romance. I don’t feel the need for it. I simply don’t want anything out of a romantic relationship. That is very important to understand. Most people get involved with someone else because they want something out of it, but I simply don’t feel any lack—any need concerning love.

Love for me is 100% outflowing. I love. I don’t need love. I don’t need to be loved. I just love.

She (Her/God) is everything to me. I see Her and feel Her in everything and everyone and I love Her. This is how I (and I suspect all awakened people) can honestly say they love everyone—because they see God (by whatever name they call Her) in everyone.

Does this mean that when you wake up you’ll never have a relationship again? Or decide to get married?

Absolutely not. You’re partner will still love you and may desire exclusivity—so there’s that, but from your perspective it will probably feel more like friends-with-benefits than what a typical marriage feels like (you love your friends, but don’t ask much of them).

But as I said, I can only speak for myself. Most “enlightened” people are terribly secretive (opaque) about their personal lives.

If you found these words of use, please follow tradition with a gift of alms (donation). If you found nothing of use, simply ignore this email and be at peace. (This text is placed at the end of all Wisdom for Alms emails)

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5 thoughts on “Sex, Love, and Romance

  1. Dear Wayne,
    Thank you for the wonderful post! I have experienced this in how I relate to relationships now. Yes, there is still a vacillation that occurs – the ego wanting something from a partner – but when that falls back into it’s self – there is clear seeing that LOVE is only what exists within “Tim”…and nothing else is needed at that point.

    You sum all of this up quick clearly in your post.

    Very grateful for you sharing!

    With love,

  2. “relationship” is the grandest school
    nothing there happens to me
    I create it all and “relationship”
    is a BIG HD 3D movie screen
    that I participate in
    school on steroids
    Why do I create ALL that happens
    to me in relationship? One can ask…

    blessings brother and all

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