Flipping My Way South

The Fool on the Hill's View

The Fool on the Hill’s View

SALMON, ID—I’m wanting to go to ground, to get some work done on the book, but Fate/She seems to have other ideas.

As I looked at my various maps and apps yesterday, I thought I had found a forested area outside Salmon to camp, but as I headed up (and I do mean up) the rocky road west of town, its angle became so steep that I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it to even the first “tier” (where I have made camp) had it not been for the traction control on Serenity.

Great views and great connectivity, but no shade (there’s no way I could make it higher to where the trees are) and hot afternoons mean I’ll be moving on this morning. But that’s just the mind making stupid justifications. The truth of the matter is, it just feels off and I’ve learned over the years to listen to those feelings.

There are various routes I can take southward, and the more I look at them the more it seems like trying—like too much effort—and the trying in this case is based on conditioned self-concern, and self-concern (which at its deepest depths is the fear of the unknown) is one of those traits which pulls me out of the serene state I so enjoy.

The key word is conditioned. Conditioned means it happens without even realizing it. It happens unconsciously. I simply find myself trying to control my life (or in this case, my route) without even realizing why. The route I take feels important because the conditioned/habitual self-concern (that bastard) tells me it’s important.

Screw that. When I become aware of the conditioning, I can see through it, and once I see through it, then I am free of it.

So as long as I’m headed in a southward direction, who cares which route I take? Does my life have to follow my plan for me to be happy? Of course not. Let Fate have her way with me, and I’ll gladly follow.

So for awhile, as I come to a forks in the road, each promising a different route south, I’ll just flip my coin and follow Her whims.

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4 thoughts on “Flipping My Way South

  1. Thought is not the enemy. He is a well-meaning, but narrow-minded friend, concerned for your welfare within his limited horizons, who keeps getting in the way 🙂

    • Andy,

      Yes, thoughts themselves aren’t the enemy—self-referential thoughts though (me-me-me), are the cause of all suffering. This is even more poignant when we realize the me-me-me thing is all in our heads.

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