No-Self And Miraculous Healing

Missing Handle. Missing Bone Lump.

Missing Handle. Missing Bone Lump.

REDINGER LAKE, CA—In the interest of transparency. From my journal entry yesterday (minor edits to add appropriate links):

April 10, 2014 at 12:30 PM

Not sure I’m ready to document this on the website… Too many unknowns, too many unbelievable experiences in such a short time period:

Have been reading One Mind—basically about the evidence of TaoGodHer—and was thinking, “Of all these fantastic abilities that it talks about as evidence, which of these powers would I like to have?”

I know the argument against attachment to siddhis, but still, which one?

Healing. No question. Even though it would destroy my love of solitude, it would be the one that could both do the most hands-on good for others and be miraculous enough to convince others of Her existence.

About an hour after I had uploaded a blog post about the book One Mind, I shut the van door on my bath towel and it jammed the door. As I was pulling repeatedly on the handle, the handle broke off and I fell to the ground and sprained my back. One of those it’s-going-to-be-a-month-of-pain-type of back sprains.

An hour later, sitting in pain but oddly at peace, looking out over the lake and forest and thinking of TaoGodHer/One Mind as the life force inside all those trees—seeing the life force rising up inside the trees—I suddenly looked inside this body and found the same thing. No Self, just TaoGodHer and a thin shell-like structure (my body) containing/separating it from the rest of Her.

No self at all. As I write this the next day, 24 hours later, I still can’t find the transcendent self that has been “me” for the last four and a half years.

Anyway, I figured this was a good time to practice the healing. I lay down in bed and an odd and surprising thought came to me. The pain in my back reminded me of Dad’s back pain, so rather than trying to cure my own, I lay there visualizing taking in his pain into my own—into this living emptiness that I find inside this shell/body. I did the same with Mom’s partially blocked artery, taking it into myself. Not trying to heal myself (there isn’t any “myself”) just taking in their pain and disease.

Today, a few big surprises. Though my back is a tiny bit stiff, there is practically no pain. Furthermore, that odd 3/4 inch bone-like lump that was on my right wrist only yesterday, the one that looked like an extra wrist bone, is gone. It is just not there anymore. That in itself is a miracle as I always suspected it to be bone cancer. Additionally, the pain in my ankle from when I twisted/cracked it down in Mexico two months ago is practically gone.

As I said, I’m not ready to go public with these things yet. I want to see if both the no-self and the healing are of more a permanent nature.

Update (me blogging now)…

  1. This feeling/experience of no-self is different from Radiance in that the Shell/Portal of Radiance feels like “you.” In this case there is no “me”—the shell thing just feels like a hollow “crust” of this body. See this and this for more on my earlier thoughts on the transcendent-self and no-self.
  2. Currently, the no-self and transcendent-self flip in and out, so—as of now—the no-self isn’t a permanent state.
  3. I don’t know if the healing practice had any effect on my parents. There is no phone coverage here and for whatever reason, I didn’t email Mom about it. Figured she’d tell me if they noticed anything when she reads this.
  4. No noticeable pain in my back or ankle anymore (48 hours later).
  5. That mysterious wrist bone lump is gone. I wish I had a before photo. I had pointed it out to my mother when I was last down in Florida (it was smaller then), so hopefully she remembers it.

A few things that seem important:

  1. I was in the no-self state during the healing experiment.
  2. I wasn’t trying to heal myself but others.
  3. The thought of bringing their pain/disease/illness into my own body (not healing it but pulling it out of their bodies and into mine) surprised me.
  4. I didn’t/don’t care if pulling in their pain/disease/illness affected me. The feeling was there was no “me” for the pain/disease/illness to attach itself to.

Status Update April 12, 2014 8:55 AM:

For an update on my parents’ conditions, see this comment.

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12 thoughts on “No-Self And Miraculous Healing

  1. This brought to mind a book I’ve started many times. Each time, I came to an impasse of one kind or another and set it aside. But I love its many insights and expressions, especially the list of what miracles ARE… starting with this one:

    1. There is no order of difficulty among miracles. One is not “harder” or “bigger” than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal.

    • Jo, that sounds like “A Course In Miracles”. Is it? I’m not sure I would’ve been able read through the whole text book very easily either, so I got the audio version on iTunes. The heart of the Course, though, is really the daily calendar lessons which are free online (with audio) at It consists of one lesson each day for a year.

      • And, wow, in writing my previous comment, I almost failed to remember what my lesson was for the day, ha-ha. Synchronistically, my daily lesson coincides perfectly with Wayne’s article: “When I am healed I am not healed alone” (Lesson 137). The occurrence of these coincidences seem to increase as you progress through the course.

      • Yes. Many ideas and quotes from “A Course in Miracles” still reverberate in my mind or pop up when life elicits them. I’m very grateful that it appeared in the world and in my life. Thanks for sharing the online information.

  2. Wayne,

    What an amazing experience! You didn’t ask for your own healing, but your wrist was healed, along with the ankle and back pain. Perhaps the intention of wanting to heal others is no different than the frequency of healing energy in general.

    I also had a (temporary – 2 days) experience of “emptiness” in India at a 28-day Deepening course for spiritual awakening at the Oneness University and Temple. It was very much as you described – it felt neither “bad” nor “good” – no thought or emotions – just conscious awareness ready to be filled with something. That something turned out to be what you call “radiance”. After three days, I was filled with pure bliss.


  3. Fascinating Wayne. I’ve always been ‘bemused’ by the whole notion of illness and disease. In the words of Robbie the Robot (you will get the allusion) “It does not compute.” In my world view there is no place for it, and yet it is. I do not understand. I accept I do not understand and yet would like to. Look forward to hearing more.

  4. Results Update:

    About an hour after posting this, I heard from Mom. The day after I did the healing experiment, Dad “was awake most of yesterday and today and actually hung a picture in his bedroom.” Just FYI: Dad pretty much lives in his easy chair, getting out of it to go to bed, go to the bathroom, or to go to some doctor’s appointment. No exaggeration.

    Mom’s original 60% blockage to her carotid artery, which I had been practicing the healing on for a couple weeks now (using the same method I did for her cancer), seems much better. In her words, “I saw the vascular specialist on Monday and he said the blockage is very small and not to worry about it since I don’t have any symptoms (like blind in one eye or paralysis on one side!). He has scheduled to see me in a year.” That’s a huge relief.

  5. They don’t make handles like they used to!

    I notice that many of your pictures have water in them. My wife and I both find bodies of water to be very relaxing and spiritual. I can certainly appreciate and understand your choice of camp sites.

    PS – Yosemite is great! Went there about 10 years ago.

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