Please Unsubscribe

FLAGSTAFF, AZIMPORTANT NOTE: This message is intended for the spiritual seekers on this blog. For all others, please see my previous post.

When I talked about firing my customers, I had every intention of pulling a Krishnamurti and ending this blog. I was going to start another site for only those who I felt were truly serious about Mystical Oneness. I even went so far as to reserve the domain, WayneWirs.org, and set up the WordPress (blogging) software on it.

But I realized a new blog (and the restrictions I would put on it) would not address all the “non-spiritual” followers of this blog, so I changed my mind.

As I’ve said recently, I set up NonAbusers.org for the masses with the idea that if enough people participated, it could literally change the world. I still see no flaw in this logic.

assumed (will I ever learn?) that you, my loyal followers (in readership terms), would flock to NA and together we would “seed” it.

You can imagine my disappointment when confronted with the resistance, hell, you can read about it, because this blog is my personal journal—my online home.

Being unemployed and living once again on the Gas Gauge of Life, I can actually calculate my projected lifespan—not in years, but in months (around 20-23). Don’t get me wrong, I love living this way. It adds such a flavor to life that only those who have physically confronted their own demise can truly understand it. It’s beautiful.

A large part of the “flavor” comes from an appreciation for your time. With so little time left, you don’t want to waste it. You want to focus on what is important.

So, as luck would have it—and completely beyond any conscious intention on my part—She provide me with a unique “tool” for separating the wheat from the chaff in terms of who I should spend my time spiritually dialoging with. The tool turned out to be NonAbusers.org—something I wrote for an entirely different purpose (and still stands on its own).

Ironically, it was your completely unexpected reaction to the site that provided this insight (and all this drama).

As I tried to explain before, my past has taught me that no matter how valid or pure the reason for not doing something, it still results in nothing getting done. Lots of great theories, lots of great stuff happening inside all those brains, but ultimately, it is just mental fluff. If it is not brought out into the physical world, it is not real.

Years ago, my mother asked me what good is all this seeking stuff doing others? How is this real?

My (mental) response was, “Well, there’s a lot of stuff going on up here, Mom,” mentally pointing to my head.

Practically every (other) nondual teacher helps their students do more stuff “up there.” They are focused on your Emptiness, the stuff up inside your head. This is just the mental quality which is only one of three qualities of Mystical Oneness.

What’s the point if we, as individuals, don’t make it real out here? Mystical Oneness is AND’s, you have to bring it into the physical world otherwise it’s just more mental fluff.

If my finances don’t change, I’ll be dead in two years. I’m not going to waste that time arguing and proving my points and justifying my words or actions anymore. All the posts prior to this one—dating back years—do that for me. So please, all of you who have been judging me and condemning me and insulting me, please, cut me some slack, I think all those years of articles freely provided to you from the depths of my heart entitle me to a little leeway.

You have to remember, this is my online home, this is my blog, these are my words and “teachings.” If you want to teach me stuff, then send me a link to your blog and if I decide to follow your work, I’ll go to your home.

This is my home, and as a guest here, please respect my decision. She provided a unique tool for me to separate those who are willing to demonstrate they will walk the talk from those who won’t: NonAbusers.org.

So rather than pull a Krishnamurti and start a new blog, I’ve decided to pull a Maharshi and only deal with those spiritual seekers who I feel are serious about my work. You may not agree with my logic, you may be hurt by my decision, or as Noah has accused, you may even call my actions and words abusive, but that’s not my intention. I simply don’t have the physical time for all the mental games. From this point forward, I will no longer spend my precious time dialoging with spiritual seekers who refuse to demonstrate that they walk the talk. This is my home. These are my words. I believe that gives me the right.

There are literally thousands of spiritual teachers who talk about God, Spirit, the nondual and practically every other spiritual topic. They would love for you to join them and bathe in their glory. Other than pay them, they won’t ask you to do a damn thing, just listen to their words and smile rapturously. They are opaque about their personal lives, but they glow divinely on the stage.

I won’t do that. I won’t lie to you, and I swear to God, though I may have disappointed and shocked you, I have never meant to abuse you.

I’m transparent, I’m human, I’m flawed, and I contradict myself on a regular basis. This isn’t a book where I edit every sentence. It isn’t a show I put on for your entertainment. This isn’t a game or a theory or a philosophy.

This. Is. My. Life.

I’m real and I simply won’t apologize for not meeting your expectations.

I can’t make you unsubscribe any more than I can make you get serious. I can and will delete your comments if you are as judgmental of my life or work as both Lokin and Noah consistently are. This is my home and I feel this is my right. NonAbuse is not the same as non-violence. When attacked, by all means, defend yourself, but just do it in as a humanitarian way as possible. To me, on this blog, that is simply blocking self-righteous, judgmental, or abusive users.

Please keep in mind, my asking you to demonstrate your willingness to walk the talk is not some ploy to get you to “seed” NonAbusers. I simply and very literally don’t have the time for such silly games.

As I said previously, “Just imagine how hypocritical a priest, rabbi or imam would look if they refused to take the vow, and you’ll understand my surprise at all the resistance I got from you guys (yes, I hold you to those kind of standards).

believe in you and I hold you to those kind of standards.

So sign up if you are willing to walk the talk. Show me you are worthy of what time I have left and I’ll continue to dialog with you. I don’t believe in excuses or reasons for doing nothingmy drill sergeant taught me the futility of that years ago.

For those who, for whatever reason, aren’t willing to join, I hold no animosity toward you. I truly wish you well.

I’ll not be commenting on this post, nor editing or blocking users on it, so if you feel the desire to vent, then by all means flame on.

Regardless, I love you.

Wayne

[END OF DRAMA]

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27 thoughts on “Please Unsubscribe

  1. Hi, Wayne–

    I’ve never commented here before, but just wanted to let you know I appreciate your blog. Originally I followed it for the nonduality stuff – I liked your video posts. Later I realized your path was not mine. However I really enjoyed the posts about setting up the stealth van – something I will never be able to do myself, but like to dream about. I’ve also enjoyed your photos. Frankly I don’t understand your latest venture – I never make vows, since I know I can never keep them. But I wish you luck – you seem to me to be a survivor.

    Mary

  2. Ditto, Mary.

    Dear Wayne. Yeah, that is kind of a bummer about the preachiness (on my part), and I apologize. I’ll try to re-address my concerns without preaching: (1/2) A setup for guilt is very serious business for the one caught in it. I wouldn’t even want to play around with anything that has that potential. (2/2) The primary statements made at NonAbusers.org are curiously missing the Wayne Wirs teachings of using ANDs instead of ORs! E.g., “I am a non-abuser AND I am an abuser.” Could it be that all the weirdness surrounding this project is not entirely our fault (the readers)? Though I may not support your project yet, I do support you. So, here’s hoping you find a new/enjoyable source of income, and that some mystical oneness and non-duality can sneak its way back into this blog from time to time. Thanks for your blog thus far.

    People aren’t going to do what you say! Isn’t that AWESOME? 🙂

  3. Hi Wayne,
    I concur with the above posts. I first came to know of you by way of your you tube videos. I was charmed and interested to see the unfolding of awakening in a non-conformist man. Like Mary I also enjoyed hearing and sharing your journey of finding the proper vehicle and outfitting it to your tastes. I have done some voyaging on small boats and can relate to the sense of freedom and independence.
    I was put off by the non-abuser posts. Of course I am going to be as positive, gentle, supportive and loving as I can. I’m also human. I get frustrated, angry, fearful, lonely etc. it’s a package deal. I’m reminded of a wonderful interview with a man named Kenneth Folk http://beyondawakeningseries.com/blog/general/k-folk-9-13/ who talks about his own views of unsentimental awakening and of his own story in separating his teachings from the trappings of eastern systems. I love hearing about and by people who don’t swallow other’s ideas whole and insist on discovering and living their own truth. That’s good stuff.
    I walk my own walk. Sitting meditation, yoga, outdoor adventures, service to others etc. I have a formal teacher who I speak with regularly in a very informal but informative way. It’s human, warm, real. I’ll be on retreat with him next week. I enjoy seeing how your path and language around your awakening is mirrored and echoed in my teacher’s teachings (which are evolving and changing every year).
    I would like to be included on the list of those who receive your blog, even if I don’t formally take your vow. I have bought your books and that must put me on a pretty short list. I wish you well.

  4. i have to admit this post scares me. i saw a video of when wayne was pre-enlightened and he said that he was going to kill himself when the money ran out…which directly led to him waking up to his true nature. now this post sounds eerily familiar.
    “If my finances don’t change, I’ll be dead in two years.”
    maybe i am being judgmental, but i didnt think connected enlightened entities killed themselves over lack of money. easy for me to say cuz i am not in his situation, but it scares me to think that what i have been seeking, waking up to my true self, can look like that. if so what is the point?

    • When you wake up to the True Self, there are still “fluctuations” of little self or ego. Any time there is fear, doubts, worries, attempts to control, thoughts of me, mine, how things should be, or not be, you are in a state of identification of the little me. After you awake, it marks the beginning of the little self, but it still cycles for a bit in and out, much like a spin cycle cleaning. For some people it clears out really fast like gasoline on charcoal, for others it it can be like a slow cook pot roast. For me, it’s definitely been the later of the two. It’s been two years since I had what one would describe as a full awakening. The ego returns from time to time and I waiver as I learn to let go off and see through the various misconceptions or illusions that I am still holding onto. “The universe will give you whatever experience is needed for the growth and wisdom of your consciousness”.

      • I’m sorry, “it marks the beginning of the end of the little self”

        but yes, as you let go of and clear out more and more little self, the less suffering there is. In place of that suffering is a more constant and unwavering bliss, oneness, presence, and peace. The depth of these experiences of which varies for each expression of individual life form. Some express and live in deep peace, some expanding bliss, some an undying devotion of love. They are all various expressions of the one self and vary in each person to various degrees.

  5. The notification about your post about ‘firing your customers’ dropped neatly into my inbox between two others: one titled ‘Spoiled Brat’ and another email about a publication called ‘Weekly Yelp’. I don’t know if Tao/her is trying to tell me something, but I’m going to unsubscribe. Wayne, you have the skills to earn your living, whether it’s doing something you want to do or not. Most of us have to do just that. Farewell and good luck.

  6. Dear Wayne, I applied to receive your blog just a few months ago after I came across & watched your u-tube. I was both helped & charmed by the u-tube & I found your blogs very helpful in those first few months. The thing is my path is different, the teachings I follow are traditional, religion means to re-ligate or to re-bind to God/Divinity/ Her/Him. I love the scriptures & follow particular eastern & our western mystical saints & the standard biblical text & the Indian Srimad Bhagavatam, B.G & others. I sit & reflect & contemplate passages written by the mystical saints or the scripture & am opened up within to such beauty that I am at a loss to put it in to words. The way I am moved keeps me connected in history to those humans that have gone before, this is a yearning & a need in my heart. I have very much wanted to do something that would help & enable others to experience the beauty they have within them. Every time I attempt to facilitate others I come up against a brick wall & just in the last 2wks I am seeing that this is a ‘hardness’ or a closed door in me to God’s, or Her, work in me. The last time I ‘tried’, I again came away bruised, though not so thoroughly as all other times, which means something has opened within me & allowed Her deeper within & this has encouraged me to further ‘give-up’ on ‘helping’ others & leave her to arrange all that if She so desires. O,my one desire is to please my Beloved!
    I have felt a personal connection with your writings, the wording you have used has sometimes been placed in just the way I have needed it to make that connection. At the same time as I have moved in my spiritual life I have become a ‘sleeping’ reader, sometimes not reading the blogs for a week or so, so I was surprised when I opened them & read about a redacted project, I’m afraid I don’t know what ‘redacted’ means, thinking it must surely become clear at some point. The next time I opened to read your blog was your response to the non-response to the ‘non-abusers….’ I read your words saying, ‘who wouldn’t sign up’ & so I went back & looked it up & read it & I thought exactly the same as you……’who wouldn’t want to sign up…….I wanted to sign up straight away! Not being computer savvy means I have to sit & work out how to do this, the photo, etc…………then reading the subsequent blogs has, as I’ve indicated, been a mirror to myself when I have ‘wanted’ to facilitate others progress.
    I am very thankful to you for coming to this point as it has brought my words onto your page. When I read the blog that expressed ‘religion’ negatively, I did want to reply to the word being misinterpreted & in misinterpreting it we are closing the door to so much within ourselves & although God in His/Her humility does not require acknowledgement of those filled with Divine inspiration I myself wish to be brought to that place where I am so expanded within that ALL sits within me. (all scripture needs surely to be read with humility, with an open heart that is not asking the text to meet expectations but the reader is reading ‘formatively’ & willing to understand concepts such as ‘time, place & circumstance’ whereby we know the author is an imperfect human who has written at a particular time in history & is subject to the constraints of culture at that time as your & other writings today are also constrained by time place & circumstance). From my hearts necessity I must open to great eastern & western saints, who have been ordinary human beings that have achieved extraordinary depths in their relationship with God/Divinity & have all had a great desire to help others achieve the same, hence the masses of writings left behind. Having spent many years ‘trying’ to make spiritual progress with Indian guidance, I finally turned back to our traditions & have found such a wonderful wealth that has opened my heart, it has enabled me to re-visit the Indian mystics in such a way that I connect within myself in the reading of them in a way I couldn’t before connecting with my own cultures’ religious heritage. (I have heard many reactive responses indicating that many equate ‘religion’ with the institution of the church which is a misunderstanding of the word). My heart’s yearning requires intimacy with God & those human beings that have travelled the path before.
    I am very grateful to your posts that have pushed me to express the above.

  7. I have loved the original post and the replies in this thread. And I have also enjoyed and sometimes learned from others. I read here as part of my path. So, I wouldn’t “unsubscribe”. If you pull the plug then so be it – the way things are is the way they have come to be. I’m not perfect, but there’s nothing here that needs perfecting – and yet, it seems sometimes that there is. That’s where I am…

    But Wayne, I wish you well, and I wish all sentient beings well.

  8. Dear Wayne – There is absolutely no doubt that I love your posts and would like to continue as a subscriber. It is also not that I don;t actually practice “non-abusiveness” – even before you made it official :-). But then there are instances where I am not mindful and might have not held back. Later I do reflect what could have been the right approach, but then the moment has alrteady passed. Obviously ( I think) such moments are much much lesser, but then they are. So to take a vow would be to cheat and while I (in the past) would get over it (by understanding that if that kind of situation arose again, I need to follow a different approach), I would most importantly be “Failing You” – my vow/promise to You, which I guess, would not be right.

    For all your efforts, I can right now go the site and sign a vow, but would like to hear from you your take on the above.
    Trust me – no excuses – just a conscious effort or not deceiving myself and a great companion like you.

    • With the vow, when you recognise that you have broken the vow and have been abusive in anyway you take the vow again. Depending how abusive you are the more you’ll be re-taking the vow however as you re-take the vow and become more aware of the abuse you should naturally(without conscious effort) reduce how often you re-take it.

      In this vow i feel it is understood that it will be broken in the beginning and that the vow will be taken again, this is a key part to it.

      I have re-taken it once already, i was unsure if i had broken it and re-took the vow anyway. So far ive not re-taken it since and feel i am less likely to be abusive than the first time round.

      To me the vow seem more of a Vow to better yourself as opposed to being non abusive however it is a vow to better yourself in being non abusive over all.

  9. Wayne, some of your readers and subscribers may actually be people that were seekers at one point. That actually found what they were seeking. That you had a part to play in their own seeking and see you as part of their unfolding. That they almost see you a perhaps a brother or fellow mentor. Not everyone is a student. It saddens me that you have now expressed that you only wish to have those subscribers that fit your specific expectations. You said you don’t want a spotlight, but yet shun those who lovingly challenge you and seek to suppress them and keep only those who would blindly follow your lead? I’m not seeking to flame you here, but challenge you yet again. Consider me the friend that is brave enough to ask you these questions to raise these concerns. A blog is not always a platform where one “controls” what people can and can’t say but allows the users their own expressions as long as they are generally polite, contribute to the collective, and not abusive. I’ve always viewed a blog as generally existing for your readers rather than solely for the person, otherwise they should just keep a private journal?

    So my final question is this:

    As there are others in this world who are also awake, in presence, moving in the Tao, speaking from stillness and heart,
    Does your blog have any room for them to express themselves as well? Or is it only for those who are just seekers?

    If that is the case, then I will surely unsubscribe as you have requested. To which my parting blessing to you is the following verse 29 from the Tao Te Ching.

    Do you want to improve the world?
    I don’t think it can be done.

    The world is sacred.
    It can’t be improved.
    If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.
    If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.

    There is a time for being ahead,
    a time for being behind;
    a time for being in motion,
    a time for being at rest;
    a time for being vigorous,
    a time for being exhausted;
    a time for being safe,
    a time for being in danger.

    The Master sees things as they are,
    without trying to control them.
    She lets them go their own way,
    and resides at the center of the circle.

    • We as humans can not improve the world, but we can improve ourselves as we are not the world but a part of it. In improving ourselves the aim is the live with the earth in a more harmonious way where it is not seen as an object and where we are not about to loose it.

      “If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.
      If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.”

      It is not wrong of Wayne to want space from himself and his pupil and if he is to create a space for them and you are not his pupil you would be unwelcome there. You must respect that. If one teacher has a temple for him and his pupils another teacher does not enter it and disrespect the teacher of the temple.

      • When one deeply awakens to self, they see all others as themselves. Therefore they do not seek to harm or shun others. They would only be harming themselves. This is why Jesus gave the new commandment, “Love each other as thy self.” Just as there would be no reason for light to shun light, it just is. Look at the sun’s expression, it can light up the world, or it can warm the earth. Yet it’s still the same light. Does it say “hey stop warming the earth, I’m trying to shine my light”?

        Yesterday I was Clever,
        So I wanted to change the world.
        Today I am wise,
        So I am changing myself

        Rumi

  10. “Look at the sun’s expression, it can light up the world, or it can warm the earth. Yet it’s still the same light. Does it say “hey stop warming the earth, I’m trying to shine my light”?” da F? The sun Lights up the earth And Warms it, it does not choose from moment to moment which one it will provide us with.

    Today I am wise enough to take action to change myself for the better and I request other to do the same.

    I point you back to my previous comment “we can improve ourselves”, “we are not the world” and deny your rumi quote as pointless, no one is trying to change the world only ourselves whom we can change.

    • Nathan, The Rumi quote, and the Tao Te Ching quote are for the post above from Wayne.

      “As I’ve said recently, I set up NonAbusers.org for the masses with the idea that if enough people participated, it could literally change the world. I still see no flaw in this logic.”

      • In changing ourselves we effect the world and in the masses changing so too does the world accordingly to our change. If the masses get involved and choose to change themselves ultimately we shall effect the world in a positive way.

        This is not trying to change the world it is understanding that a mass change in individuals has an effect on the world and changes it.

        Yesterday I was Clever,
        So I wanted to change the world.
        Today I am wise,
        So I am changing myself

        rumi

        today I am wise enough to see the effect we all have when we all chose to change ourselves.

          • Yes, like the ripples of a stone falling into a still pool of water. But you are meant to be the falling stone for others to see, not vice versa.

            The essential point of it, Is that if you are seeking to change the world, or seeking to change others, than you are seeing that the world is flawed, you are seeing that there are problems, you are making a judgement.

            That therein is the problem you. This very essence shows that you do not see the world as sacred just as it is, you do not yet have the wisdom to allow it to be as it is, to allow it to unfold as it should, that you have made a judgement by mind from the little self that you can do better than the heart of grace that is moving in the tao. Until you truly have that wisdom and change yourself completely and no longer seek to change the world and allow it to be as it is and see it’s beauty and sacredness you are not yet the true empty self. That is what these pointings show.

            The Master sees things as they are,
            without trying to control them.
            She lets them go their own way . . .

            Then you are truly living from the center, the tao.

            Then you are truly, a lamp unto the world. and from that emptiness and absence of trying to control, the light that will shine forth is the pebble in the pond.

            “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?”

  11. very true, although you are missing how i see the world and the humans upon its surface.

    I am not seeking to change others or the world. “I request other to do the same” the same being make the choice to change themselves. I see the world as it is and i see humans as they are and respect that the ripples will flow according to themselves. as you said “allow it to unfold as it should” but there a things that can be done, like drop another stone into the pool.

    Sitting and doing nothing is making no cause and no effect, sitting and changing things in mind is still not making any cause or effect. This realm is what we call real and thoughts are not of it they are outside of it and in making action we are bringing them thoughts out into what we call real. picking up a stone and dropping it is an action, thinking about it is not.

    what good is it awakening a mind if the awakening is not used within this realm to have an effect?

    I will own up to having i-ego, I see no harm in its existence so long as I moderate it(keep it from abusing Me) – big I’s and small i’s are used in representation of the corresponding bodies. I am being human and a part of being human is that humans have small i-ego.

  12. Since Wayne has issued any invitation to vent and flame, I might as well. After all, I agree 100% when he says “what’s the point if we, as individuals, don’t make it real out here and bring it into the physical world… otherwise it’s just more mental fluff.”

    My view is that Wayne is suddenly not making it real. He is taking what is real and imposing a structure that pretends to be real. As he says, we will just have to agree to disagree on this one. Since it appears this will be the last post where Wayne actually accepts any disagreement from his readers, I will offer mine in full.

    Living up to a vow, being honest to yourself and Her, is making it real. By being honest to yourself and Her, you are honest to others… not the other way around. The essence behind the vow is what counts, not the vow itself. Wayne claims She provided a unique tool (Nonabusers) to separate those who are willing to demonstrate they will walk the talk from those who won’t. That is a delusion.

    I don’t use the word “delusion” disparagingly, since most of what my own brain (and any human brain)produces is delusion. It is simply the nature of the brain and of thought forms, and I call it like I see it, though no doubt I see it through the eyes of a judgmental ego.

    It is possible for abusers to hop online and take that vow, never for a moment walking the talk, and Wayne would be none the wiser… just as a non-abuser could NOT take the vow and demonstrate she “brings it into the physical world” by living the essence behind the vow. So the reality is, the formality of a vow proves very little.

    As anyone who has ever heard a politician take a vow knows, taking a vow demonstrates absolutely nothing about the character and intent of the person taking the vow. Unless intent is there, the formal, public vow is simply more mental fluff. People who don’t take a vow CAN walk the talk, just as those who DO take vows can fail to walk the talk, whether intentionally or not.

    So if taking a vow cannot actually prove one’s willingness to walk the talk, why does Wayne insist that it can? Only he can answer. If he wants to delude himself, fine, but I do not wish to see others deluded. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t take the vow, or follow Wayne, or do whatever they choose to do… it only means I wish for everyone the awareness to weigh Reality against delusion.

    It is noble of Wayne to set up a non-abuse site and solicit vow-takers. I have no problem with Wayne wishing people to take a vow, but I have a problem when he says taking the vow will demonstrate that they walk the talk. That is simply false. It conflicts with reality. There could be any number of good reasons for people to take the vow, but that is not one of them.

    Because Wayne’s claim conflicts with Reality, I know it came from his mind, and not from Her.

    I have found in the waking-up process that it is very difficult to discern whether my feelings, thoughts and actions are rooted in Her (big me) or ego (little me), but if their nature is reactive, defensive, offensive, or selfish I can be pretty sure. The effort I now make is simply to OBSERVE in myself and others that reactive, defensive, offensive, or selfish nature. By observing and understanding, and not by judging or renouncing (or vowing), I hope to be less ego-bound.

    Wayne’s writings have been very helpful to me in recent months, particularly the simple but profound “the less of me, the more of Her, the better.” I wish I could say I saw less of him and more of Her in these recent posts, but I’d be lying if I said so.

    Being asleep… being unaware, being unconscious… is the disease. Abuse (whether real or perceived, whether intentional or unintentional, whether dished out or received) is a symptom of the disease. There is nothing wrong with addressing symptoms. But to suggest that those who fail to treat symptoms in a formally prescribed manner are somehow proving that they no longer care about the disease… well, that is utter nonsense. I will not subscribe to nonsense and non-Reality that is masquerading as sense and Reality.

    • I would like to concur with Noah on many accounts.

      Namely, “the less there is of us, the more there is of the Tao”. That as of late, there has been much less emptiness and more “me & mine”.

      Maybe there is some truth to the Mercury in Retrograde I hear so much about lately? That it dredges up some latent murky waters we didn’t realize we had buried about? I can attest to recently having discovered my own fair share. I’m glad I did not take the Vow, I would have blown it already.

      I like that I get to learn from the mud of suffering, rather than despair from blowing a vow. With my own self almost always residing in presence, and very little me left, would have broken the vow already. I cannot yet walk the walk as Wayne has requested. Not as long as there is any little me left. I can only live from my heart, forgive others, forgive myself and trust in Grace.

      I wonder how all this will turn out now? Here I get to talk and share with yet another person that is in the process of awakening. Someone else that is unfolding, or “walking the walk”. Yet it is you and I that are getting shunned and shown the door?

      As for your wonderings about “discerning whether my feelings, thoughts and actions are rooted in Her” As I have experienced and learned from my own teacher, the defining difference is the degree in how personal it is. If you feel strong emotions or actions and the sense they are “Yours” or “personal” then they are rooted more so in little me frame of reference. If there are strong emotions, actions, etc but they are unfolding in that spacious witness, than they are rooted in the Tao, the universe. They are then the the expressions of the universe, let them dance.

    • Just to be clear, when I say “Wayne’s claim conflicts with Reality, so I know it came from his mind, and not from Her” I am speaking ONLY of the function of Nonabusers to serve as a tool to discern “walkers” from “non-walkers”.

      I am NOT saying Nonabusers itself is intrinsically flawed, or that is doesn’t arise from Her… only that is impossible for it to be an accurate measure of any given individual’s true commitment to being more aware (= less abusive).

  13. I believe you may not have seen how yahwah provided NonAbusers as a tool for wayne to see what he saw.

    That said what you have seen is not wrong.

  14. Hey,

    since i originally found this blog through the spiritual part i feel
    also adressed by this. I was happy to read all the new blog entries,
    to read about your living in a van and i loved the carefree diet (which i still do).

    But if you insinst that every subcriber has to paint himself a (non-permanent, right?) circle on his hand and take a vow, i am out for now. Not my type of thing.

    Hope you dont mind if i see what your doing from time to time, even if i unsubcribe. Your are not really planning to kill yourself in 20 months, right?!

  15. In addition to my above comment, I would like to directly address a few of Wayne’s comments.

    He says I have accused him of using actions and words that were abusive, but my intention was simply to ask a question: could anyone out there interpret them as abusive? While Wayne has said it was not his intention to be abusive, at what point does lack of intention no longer become valid as a defense?

    If a drunk driver kills an entire family, it clearly was not his intention to do so. Yet I would submit he has been abusive by virtue of not taking responsibility for the potential consequences of his actions.

    Likewise, if I address a large number of people, I run the risk of talking down to them or hurting them if I do not choose my words and tone carefully. If I refuse to take the responsibility to be aware of the potential consequences of how I use my words and tone, is it not possible that I am being abusive, even though that was not my intent?

    When Wayne first asked for examples of abuse, someone mentioned tailgating. But I am certain the vast majority of following too closely is done with no INTENTION of doing harm… yet harm is done. Consider in this world how much harm is done unintentionally, by people who are either unable — OR UNWILLING — to become more aware, to wake up, to be conscious of a Reality beyond the limits of their egoic mind.

    My belief is that unintentional abuse is as great a problem as intentional abuse. I know it is for me… I am guilty of the former all the time, while the latter has become much less of a problem for me.

    • I didn’t have a chance to finish up my thoughts in the above post before I had to go to work. On my way — driving a gray car on a gray road on a gray day at dusk — I suddenly became aware I had not turned my lights on. Why? I was too busy being aware of all the OTHER drivers following too closely!

      So another example of potential harm, unintentional, that could have arisen from a lack of awareness.

      My real point in questioning Wayne about whether he had considered whether or not his posts might cause harm was not to label him as abusive — any more than I would label myself so — but to get him and others to think about the nature of unintended harm and if maybe there is a fuzzy line between that and what might be defined as abuse.

      For myself, I know I need to vow to become more aware of potential UNintended consequences of my actions, and especially of my REactions. In the past, I have yelled at my kids when they have accidentally broken or spilled something. At the time, I would not have considered it abusive, because I had no intent to harm when I over-reacted. Today, I would consider that abuse, because even without the intention to cause psychological harm, I am AWARE that such a reactive outburst is unwarranted and potentially hurtful.

      For argument’s sake, let’s suppose I only wish to reduce the level of INTENDED harm that I cause. That would meet the letter of Wayne’s vow because, by definition, if I didn’t intend harm then it’s not abuse.

      Well, the easiest way for me to succeed in keeping the vow would be to become LESS aware. If I yell at my kids but am unaware that it is causing them harm, it is not abuse. As soon as I become AWARE of what I’m doing, and I know that my actions/reactions will result in harm, I become abusive. Likewise, to do harm while drunk or sleepwalking means to do it without intent. So is vowing to do no intentional harm the same as vowing to become more aware? I would say, certainly not.

      I am not suggesting that someone would actually decide, hey, if I just stay drunk 24/7 then nobody can accuse me of intentional harm. The suggestion is simply that we all think about the nature of harm, intention, awareness. There is no doubt people lie to themselves about their true intentions to make themselves feel like “good” people. I know I do. To the degree we delude ourselves, whether consciously or not, we permit ourselves to do more “unintended” harm.

      I’m just saying, again, my need is to vow (whether figuratively or literally) to become more aware of potential UNintended harm. But that vow is between me and God, and there is no earthly (or other!) reason I should publicly and ritually formalize it to prove to someone I am worthy of his time. Should he insist on such proof and claim without it that I’m not serious about seeking a spiritual path, my egoic little-me reaction would be… well, I guess it’s showing up on these pages.

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