Sometimes I Bite

The Yang of Water

The Yang of Water

MT HOOD, OR—My client hated what I had done for him with the forums. His words, “I thought I laid out exactly what I wanted in my email of 5 July 2014. I was surprised when it was completely different.”

Now in the course of just 10 days, I wrote thousands of lines of code, a completely functional forum framework and of the 30 features he had requested, completed or addressed 27 of them.

I was surprised when it was completely different.

Over a month’s worth of work done in less than a third of the time, and only three tasks that didn’t meet with his standards and he saw it as a reason to criticize and an abject failure.

In spirituality, there are two common techniques for dealing with aggressive or disagreeable behavior. There’s the Old Testament method of an eye-for-an-eye, and the New Testament method of turn the other cheek.

An eye-for-an-eye promotes escalation and violence.

Turning the other cheek promotes dominance and abuse.

Of course, modern psychology goes beyond these two extremes with many other methods of conflict resolution, but I’m talking about this from a spiritual perspective.

My technique is a combination of the Old and the New: I bite back to let the aggressor know I’m not some spiritual dishrag, then I ease off, open up and play nice… but keep an eye open for further abuse. That’s not passive aggressive—that’s yang then yin. If the pattern continues (and in the nearly two decades I’ve worked with him, this perfectionist attitude is a pattern), then I will often make simple rules or agreements with myself to act as both subtle corrective measures and personal rewards, ie: “I’ll only work on his projects when I feel like working on them.” If things get better, I relax those restrictions.

In order for this technique to work though, you have to be willing to live as a Soul—you can’t be attached to the outcome, you can’t be thinking this is all very serious and important (as a Soul, you live forever and a simple disagreement is nothing in the context of an infinite lifetime). With this technique, either the relationship will fade into oblivion or they will learn to adjust their behavior when dealing with you.

When you could care less if you live or die (ie: you live as a Soul), then neither dominant nor abusive personalities will have any hold over you. Threats or coercion (whether voiced or implied) lose their power. It is as simple as that.

In this way, living as a Soul (yang/active) acts as an elegant counter balance to the acceptance and surrender of Radiance (yin/passive).

It's Time To Wake Up

Mystical Oneness and the Nine Aspects of BeingMystical Oneness and the Nine Aspects of Being is a step-by-step guide to enlightenment and beyond.

Available at:

Amazon - Barnes and Noble - iTunes- Google Play - Kobo

It's Time To Be Happy

The Serentity TechniqueWe live in divisive times.

The Serenity Technique provides 7 simple steps for inner peace… whenever you need it.

Available now on Amazon

It's Time Let Go

My Dying WordsImagine I have only seven days left to live.
Now imagine I share my last thoughts with you.

Available now on Amazon

7 thoughts on “Sometimes I Bite

  1. Insightful Wayne. You have nicely encapsulated my own modus operandi, which I call ‘acting human’ (setting boundaries) although one could call it ‘acting canine’ (just lifting the lip slightly, to show a tooth, and letting out the whisper of a growl). Still, can’t help suspecting Jesus is pointing to something more advanced.

  2. Fierce or passionately honest ? In the end he surrendered totally, was beaten senseless and tortured to death. Then he says: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” I struggle with that. More at ease with Krishna giving the OK for Arjuna to go in and take ’em down, because it’s all the play of life. However one recognises that the ‘truth’ is different at different levels. So the question remains: Jesus or Krishna – who’s the Daddy ?-)

Leave a Comment