The Flood

The Skies Clear

The Skies Clear

MT HOOD, OR—I closed the laptop, closed the van, and drove up to Government Camp for a good meal and a well deserved beer. 100 billable hours. Three times what I normally put in in a billing cycle.

But those hours flowed. I was in the zone the whole time. I wrote the complete framework for an entire forum—from scratch—in two weeks. And though I’m tired, it was practically effortless because I surrendered and let Her do it. I let Her write the code.

And it flowed.

When the personal self falls away, it is very easy to get lost. What is important to you when there is no longer a “you”?

Michelle, as I’m sure others who read this blog are, is going through a sort of “value storm.” Much of what used to be important to her is no longer. Everything is in turbulence. There’s nothing to hold onto. No solid ground. Everything is aswirl and it’s scary.

It’s sort of like Noah’s Flood. Things are changing for the better, but right now it’s nothing but rain and wind and lightning and a whole lot of crashing waves.

When I went through it, I had no one to help me, no teacher to guide me. When my personal self fell away, I was lost and I drifted. It’s all right here on this blog.

But things are different for you Michelle. You’re not alone—I’ve got your back.

It gets easier. Though you will never find solid ground to stand on ever again, you are beginning to realize something very few ever do—not just with your mind, but with your heart: You are the Ground itself… and the Sea and the Light and the All.

And yet you are still you.

You can feel this. Though you can’t explain it, you know it.

You know what you have to do. You’ve done it time and time again. You’ve learned it from practice and practical application. You’ve done it before and you can do it again:

When you relax and surrender and allow—when you let Her drive—everything flows and everything works out exactly as it should.

And though you may not know where you’re heading or how you are going to get there, you know it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Listen to your heart.

Listen to Her whispers.

And everything will be alright.

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8 thoughts on “The Flood

  1. Consciousness takes so many forms there is no telling how it unfolds. I’ve had moments of union where the feeling of the “one big thing” was so complete that I was the eyes of the whole world. I’ve also experienced physical death where I was utterly rocked with grief for my old, dead, self and did everything in that moment, from running and bike riding to taking cold showers, to bring back the ground. Grace, Grace, all is Grace.

  2. For this Noah, at least right now, I am increasingly able to take my focus from the rain and wind and lightning and crashing waves and shift to focus on how deep and still the water below is. But frustratingly, that is still not happening as often, as quickly and as easily as I would like. It’s still mostly a matter of believing the stillness is there rather than actually feeling the stillness.

    I have to keep reminding myself that this is a process of shedding old skin, to simply be what and where I already really am, and not a process of adding more on to myself.

    Nearly three weeks after the brief experience of actually FEELING myself 100% as the Watcher, as “I AM Everything” — that is, knowing its truth on an experiential gut level rather than just thinking it on an intellectual mind level — last night was the first night it really hit me: I can never go back to being who “I” was before.

    Over the past few weeks I’ve thought about how great it is that I no longer feel like the same bundle of reactionary “me” thoughts that I used to be. But last night I realized, I don’t think I can ever go back, EVEN IF I WANTED TO.

    The feeling was wonderful and scary at the same time. I felt a little homesick, even though at some level I know that where I am headed is actually home, and where I’ve been, and spent most of my life, is not home.

    Letting go is hard to do for the conditioned ego… especially for one thoroughly conditioned to cling to what is “safe” and “known.”

  3. Wayne…thats a really really really huge statement to make: that you have Michelles back. What does that mean, in what circumstances and how can you truly ever fulfil those words should she need you to do so?

  4. Regarding Grace…

    The miracle of synchronicity seems to be providing a “soundtrack” to my growth of consciousness, where songs of personal significance that help act as triggers keep “coincidentally” popping up in my life. The latest is one by Jim Lauderdale:

    Under the shadows where there was light once
    A little smile grows shows just enough
    Of an example simply explaining
    Hope over fear
    Sounds real good
    To those gathered here

    Grace’s song is playing now
    Anything is possible
    Mercy waits outside the door
    Listen close
    Here She comes
    Walking in

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