A Jealous God? (Kidding (Sort of))




August 19, 2015 9:13 AM

Leaving the supermarket parking lot, I turned the corner just as my iPad—which I have placed in the overhead bin hundreds of times before—leapt out the window and was promptly run over by the only other car on the road.


  • Isn’t that amazing? I had been thinking, since purchasing the new MacBook, that the iPad was kind of a luxury now, something that I ought to get rid of just to simplify my electronic devices and Bang! it’s toast.
  • Adya’s wife telling him he has to be careful what he wishes for in that video (document?) where he says that some people work for what they want, while he seems to manifest it.
  • What do these trials mean? With the reboot and all this thinking about the Map and book, I’ve felt unusually distant from Her. Is she trying to tell me not to forget Her? Is She a jealous God? (Kidding. (Sort of.))
  • Which reminds me of Adya’s description of the No Self state feeling very dull and ordinary in comparison to (his term) the Transcendent Self. Me thinking he just hasn’t integrated his No Self with the other levels below, but have I been guilty of the same thing lately? Too much time spent in theory/mind and not enough with Her? Maybe She really is a jealous God! (Kidding. (Sort of.))
  • Anyway, I miss Her, and I have been spending too much energy in the mind, so dedicating more time with Her seems like the right thing to do anyway.
  • Balance. Work on the book, but bring Her (back) to front and center in my life.


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8 thoughts on “A Jealous God? (Kidding (Sort of))

  1. Hi, Wayne.

    There’s probably no need to tell you she’ll be back. She’s breathing you out and breathing you in. And out again, in again … .

    With every breath she releases and then again draws in of you, from within you she metabolizes your experiences, metabolizes the territories you’ve roamed, metabolizes whatever you’ve given your attention to while you were “away from her.”

    With every breath she releases and then draws back in of you, the wholeness that is your manifestation of her, or her manifestation as you, grows one turn deeper, one turn bigger, one turn more integrated.

    As you roam “away from her,” you gather up material to bring back to her. But of course, you can never be “away” from her. It’s only a matter of looking in one direction or the other. Whether looking “away” from her or looking “toward” her, all directions are within her.

    And of course, it never ends.

    Expansion and contraction isn’t an aberration on enlightenment. It is enlightenment breathing out and breathing in, metabolizing, integrating more and more of itself. In the process, that all-encompassing infinity that is lived remains ever the same infinity and simultaneously, paradoxically, ever and endlessly grows bigger and bigger.*

    “Brahman is the eater of everything.” Through the eternal pulsation of expansion and contraction, out and in, and out and in again, in perfect sequential unfoldment, Brahman metabolizes every experience, purposefully incorporates every experience into the ever-expanding wholeness.

    *The Sanskrit word “Brahman” derives from the root “brih,” “to grow great.”

    • Wonderful Jerry. Thank-you. Yes, everything is temporary… except Her, and of course She is everything. As you point out in your comment below, it’s all paradoxes. 🙂

  2. So true Jerry. Even though “the away” doesn’t “feel” like the return it is wise to trust every moment as it is, the way it is. Hindsight always tells you what needed to be brought back with you and integrated. Sweet.

    • Totally agree. All of nature is cyclical. As you say, the “away” doesn’t feel like the “return” but later is seen to have been an instrumental requirement for growth.

  3. Hi Wayne!

    with Adyas no-self (also Bernadette Roberts has a book where she wrote that she lost god and self alltogether)…..i had the same reaction as you: “who wants to live that?”……but then i got some Intuition that this might be just another Phase and that there will come some new “self” along the way.
    The other two comments are deeply beautiful!


    • In my experience, the No-Self stage feels very pure (untainted), but it doesn’t feel very balanced to me, so that’s why I suspect it is just a phase/stage/level that has yet to be re-integrated with the “illusionary” individual self. I could be wrong.

  4. There’s also this from Adyashanti …

    “If you listen to me long enough, you’ll hear me contradicting myself, constantly … you’re nothing … you’re everything … there’s no self … well of course, there’s a self … .

    If you went to my teacher, and had the great revelation of ‘no self’, of emptiness, I’m nothing, and the freedom of that, and that’s totally true … I’m nothing, and the great liberation of realizing that … then the next thing, you’d get this great smile, and you’d see that my teacher’s really happy that you’ve finally kind of woken up out of your some-thingness, and then you’d get a quick rap on the head, crack, with a stick. ‘Okay Mr. nobody, who did that hurt ?’

    Then you’d scratch your head, and walk out of the room, hmmm… ‘gosh I really thought I was nobody, there for a minute’ …

    Of course it was true … it wasn’t a way of saying what was discovered wasn’t real. It was a way of saying what was discovered, may not be the whole … the whole truth, may not be the end. There may be more to this.

    The discovering our infinite formlessness , also can lead to, realizing it’s all one. Form … formlessness … is one. So this form, that appears to have a self, that appears to have me, appears to have, is not other than the formless one.

    It’s on the level of talk, the truth is fraught with total contradictions.

    And the more awake we become, we become capable of holding these contradictions, effortlessly, because the truth, the true I, the true I of awakening, actually sees the oneness, and the mind sees in the oneness these totally contradictory experiences, are happening, simultaneously.

    Of being the all, and everything, the supreme reality, and being this particular, individual, human being.

    And both are true.

    As we awaken, we begin to discover, one to the exclusion of the other.

    First you’re a human being … then you’re Mr. nobody … and then Mr. nobody, is a human being.

    And they’re both simultaneously, true…they’re both simultaneously happening.

    The danger of teachings is that, almost everything that can be said … the opposite can be said to be almost equally true.

    This presence of being is vast.

    It’s all inclusive.

    ~ Adyashanti

    … from the youtube video, “Spontaneous Awakening” – Pt 8

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