A Peek Behind The Curtain

My Bad

My Bad


October 11, 2015 9:35 AM

Yesterday’s post demonstrates one of the reasons I continue to blog, and a big reason I’m writing the book: To give readers a “peek behind the curtain” of what it’s like to live with Cosmic Consciousness (the duplex personality, She/We/I, union/communion with the Divine, …).

Yesterday’s post—while still a good example of I LOVE in action—was focused on my non-black-and-white attitude toward hunters. What I didn’t get into was the inner and outer experience of She/We/I in action.

Just like everyone has bodily desires and mental desires (I of course have these too), at this I LOVE, separate-but-one with the Divine (She/We/I) level, I also have individual and Divine desires. (New readers: Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some messiah complex—I don’t know what the hell TaoGodHer thinks or knows—but I do know what is important to Her… Her value system has become (largely) my own).

So the scene went like this:

Two hunters come wandering into my camp angry that I had blocked off what they saw was a legitimate parking space in front of my campsite.

I, reacting to their anger and feeling a bit guilty, disagreed with them.

They wander down the stream to kill some ducks.

I ponder who is wrong here and decide that I am since I was reacting to both the hunters’ attitudes and to my own desire for privacy from the little-me’s viewpoint—reactions generated by the Mortal level’s instincts (“Defense! Defense!”) and the Ego level’s social conditioning (“Respect my boundaries”).

But to She/We/I (I LOVE), while the lower levels shout louder, the higher levels are far more important, and so I removed the rope and sign blocking off my camp (even though I knew it would open it up to more hunters).

When the two hunters returned, they were expecting an escalation to our disagreement, but after explaining my actions and reasons (I took the sign down because I realized that I was wrong and the forest is for all of us to enjoy), they both visibly relaxed, stepped up, apologized for their aggressive attitude, introduced themselves and shook my hand.

The older of the two then said to me, “I’m surprise at how well you’ve dealt with this. I’ve never experienced that before.” His attitude wasn’t, “Ah, you wuss,” but one of absolute and profound respect—and (and I’m humbled and grateful for this) it deeply affected me.

There’s a cynical but oddly accurate saying that when a fair deal is struck, all parties leave unhappy.

I understand that saying, but if we act from our highest level of conscious development—if we listen to the whispers of these higher levels and not the shouts of the lower ones—a fair deal can not only leave all parties satisfied, but in awe.

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5 thoughts on “A Peek Behind The Curtain

  1. Hey Wayne great post
    For me, your posts that describe encounters with other humans, especially ones that do not share similar values (see also the shooters, or the casino experience), are fascinating and very instructional. Good stuff!

  2. Fantastic example of transparency!
    You said “…everyone has bodily desires and mental desires…”.
    I find it helpful in situations like this to distinguish between desires and needs. The difference is that if you stop thinking about a need, it grows stronger (try to stop thinking about eating for a few days). On the other hand, stop thinking about a desire and it withers away (consider the last thing you desired but lost interest in before obtaining it).
    In your story the “desires” were the “.. reactions generated by the Mortal level’s instincts (“Defense! Defense!”) and the Ego level’s social conditioning (“Respect my boundaries”).”
    The “need” seems to have been “listening to the whispers of these higher levels”, as they apparently grew louder to the point were they were the final motivators of your actions (taking down the note and communicating with the hunters).

  3. Hey Wayne,

    Thanks for the post. I’m writing about something you said yesterday in the comments.

    You said:

    “If I had never eaten meat in my entire life (let alone quit right now), it would not have saved a single animal’s life. My dietary habits are just too insignificant to show up on Big Butcher Business’ monthly reports.”

    “Just show me the data or an email from an executive of one Big Butcher who killed one less animal (let alone 30) because one person stopped eating meat. That’s evidence.”

    Here is the evidence you requested (from USDA data):


    My suggestion is that two things can be true at the same time. Yes, your personal eating habits alone may not have any perceived impact. At the same time, you and millions of people becoming conscious of our contribution to suffering and eating less meat can have a huge, measurable impact.

    I’ve been a vegetarian for years and recently adopted a vegan diet. At the same time, I haven’t rid myself of all leather products I own–i.e., “do the best you can.”**

    I can tell you my heart feels better and more open when I’m able to avoid contributing to the horrific treatment of farm animals and environmental destruction. I’m not wagging my finger, just sharing my internal experience and suggesting a different perspective.

    Best to you,


    ** I was at a retreat with a teacher (one of Adyashanti’s students and a former Buddhist monk). During one Q&A sessions, one of the participants expressed guilt about killing ants in his home. The teacher replied, “I kill ants too. You do the best you can.” Personally, I believe that’s reasonable–do the best you can to reduce the suffering of other beings (and I think it’s highly unlikely ants and similar insects suffer).

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