Why Women Do NOT Deserve Equal Rights

My Throne Room

My Throne Room


October 16, 2015 1:35 PM

If I were King of the World, I would enact three simple laws—all revolving around my firm belief that women are not equal to men and therefore should not have the same rights as men.

This opinion may come as a shock to longtime readers.

Ah, ye of little faith.

My opinion on unequal rights for women really boils down to testosterone levels. Because women have far less testosterone than men, women are biologically more civilized than men and therefore their rights should not be equal to the rest of us lowly brutes.

So based on this simple realization—that women are more civilized than men—here are the three laws I’d enact if I were King of the World…

Law 1: Only women are allowed to own, possess or use guns.

Breaking this law would entail a severe penalty:

  • Any man caught either possessing a gun, or using a gun in self-defense, would receive a mandatory 5 years in prison with no chance for parole.

The self-defense clause is simply designed to close that pesky “I was just defending myself” loophole which would defeat the whole purpose of this wonderful women-only-get-the-guns law. If you’re a guy and want to defend yourself, man up and do what men have done since the dawn of time, pick up a baseball bat (your wife can still shoot the bad guys).

Law 2: Any adult woman is allowed to legally kill up to two adult males over the course of her lifetime.

I struggled with this law—the burdens of imaginary kinghood weighed heavily on my Soul—but in the end, I made the decision based on the greater good to Humankind (though not necessarily Man-kind). Personally, I don’t think a lot of women would take advantage of this law even once, but imagine if you were a man and not only are women allowed to legally carry firearms, but they are allowed to legally use them on you. Say goodbye to domestic violence. Say goodbye to bullying. Say goodbye to child abusers. Say goodbye to all male-on-anyone violence.

Now think about Laws 1 and 2 and apply them to Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, or ISIS (remember, I’m King of the World). Not only could a woman legally kill her abusive husband, but she’d still have a “Good for One Adult Male” chit left over to wave in front of her rebellious teen boys, “Keep it up, son, I’ve got this just waiting for your eighteenth birthday.”

Say goodbye to the problems in the Middle East.

Law 3: Only women are allowed to hold political office.

This one’s pretty much self explanatory. In one stroke it would end most wars and dramatically reduce the potential for future wars.

Say goodbye to 90% of the world’s problems.

Of course this last law would immediately end my reign as King of the World, but—unlike most politicians—I could happily live with that.

Please consider my candidacy for King of the World during your next political election, social revolution, or government overthrow.

In humble gratitude,

Wayne Wirs
Independent Global Party Candidate for King of the World

[EDIT: See tomorrow’s post for an explanation as to why I wrote the above—and to what it really means.]

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10 thoughts on “Why Women Do NOT Deserve Equal Rights

  1. And only a female judiciary. Male judges have too long invaded women’s private lives.
    I have no desire to own a gun. I have shot them for target practice and am a good shot. That does not mean I want to own one.
    I am female, a pacifist, and a vegan. I don’t believe I could kill a human, even if I was allowed without fear of imprisonment. I don’t even like to kill insects if I can shoo them along their merry way.
    My insight meditations have left me feeling as if I have melted into the surrounding area with no definite physical boundaries. It is blissful to be one with everything.

  2. I know it’s not wholly serious (“If I were King of the World”), but it is semi-serious and some of what you wrote is alarming. I don’t disagree with the overall spirit of your post, though its solutions are too extreme and unrealistic, but advocating allowing legal killing of males, as in Law 2, just isn’t a spiritual thing to recommend–at all. The fact that there are issues between men and women and people in general is part of our growth on this planet; i.e., there are other more enlightened solutions we can evolve toward than legalized murder.

    Some idealize matriarchy as if everything would be essentially perfect if women were in charge because they are all too familiar with the problems of patriarchy. But I think you’d just trade one set of problems for another. I think the answer is neither patriarchy nor matriarchy but something in between, the best of both worlds. I say: don’t demonize men or suppress women. We need both divine energies. It’s what makes the manifest universe go, right down to the plus and minus energies in the atom. That’s how manifest being was constructed. Why must we constantly hold up one gender over the other? Does that sound enlightened? That’s why I could never label God Her or Him. Why place a gender limit on the limitless? It’s everything–and even more.

  3. Not being April 1st, I didn’t know how to take it, so I interpreted it as semi-serious, as I mentioned. It might have been wise to include a tag at the end: “OK, this not even a little serious (well, except for #3).” Then understanding is promoted instead of possible confusion.

  4. Hello Wayne,

    I don’t comment often, but must ask you, in what world are you living?

    Women are much more aggresive and abusive then man. The only thing standing between us and total colaps of the world in wars, terror and crime is the fact that man are still stronger in politics and physically.
    But it is crumbelling down evry day and as we speak. The results are seen, more and more terror and worsening of our situation dayly (watch the neews).

    It has nothing to do with testosteron, it just makes us man just more sincere and honest. When we like something, we hug and kiss. When we don’t like something, we bash and kick. You always know where you are with a so called “brute” man.

    Compare that with women, always manipulating, enviying, gossiping, trying to be on the top, full of malice and bitterness.

    I could elaborate on this with many examples, if you are interested, just ask.

    And yes, women and men are not equal, thank god. So equal rights is just a idiotic idea, like if we think of giving fish equal rights to breath ear, and make laws that all fish should be saved by bringing them on shore. World is full of different forms, and equaling them all out is just plain crazy. What is good for a dog is not neccesary good for a monkey.

    So I wish you a nice day, and in the future try not to fall on prowomen propaganda that is going on. Look with clear eyes and see the truth.

  5. Hi I don’t think women would use their right to kill a man, but certainly make his life a living hell. I actually thought about the consequences of an all female political leadership. I don’t think it would work out well just like it isn’t in a male dominant world. Best solution would be a blend of energies.

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