Your Identity Portfolio

Tree on a Hill

Tree on a Hill


August 26, 2015 4:22 PM

Though I hadn’t planned it, I woke up expecting to leave my cool and isolated camp today. Two hours later, a shepherd (as in herder of sheep) pulling his little vardo-like wagon and cargo trailer appeared on my mile long, dead end road and I greeted him and said, “Don’t worry, you’re not going to have to back up, I’ll be out of here in five minutes,” and (much to his delight for I don’t know how he could have gotten his dual trailers turned around with me parked there), I broke camp and drove away.

This blog goes through “theory phases” every so often, and I really don’t care too much for them, so I’ll finish off the “Map of Identity” (new Map) with something I realized while creating it: We don’t exist at any one place on the map.

What I mean by this is that we—usually quite unconsciously—”invest” ourselves in multiple areas of the map. I base this theory not only on my personal experience, but on my (limited but still researched) understanding of psychology and on the widely recognized phenomenon that anyone can have a powerful spiritual experience (glimpse of a higher level) at anytime in their lives or spiritual development.

For example, how I am currently “invested” in the Map is (about):

  • 30% I, the Eternal
  • 50% I, the Mystic
  • 10% I, the Soul…

and the remainder spread out fairly evenly over the other levels.

I calculated these percentages based on the amount of time I sense my “self properties.” Since I’ve just recently awoken my I, the Eternal level, this is my primary practice—it’s not stable, it’s practice. I’ve been stable at the Mystic level for years, and I am constantly in harmony with Her and Her whispers. Mystic is my default state. Additionally, I often think of myself as a Soul (far more than I think of myself as a human being), but not nearly as much as I think of myself as “me-whatever-that-is” (Mystic level).

Because the levels alternate between integrated (stable phases) and unintegrated (separated, learning phases), I don’t feel it is healthy to invest too much in the unintegrated phases (Ego, Witness, Ascetic). They are necessary to “go through,” but ultimately not very well balanced (and since most of society is heavily invested in Ego, well, you can see where that has taken us).

Anyway, the point of this post is not to try to place yourself in a little box (a single phase/level) of the map, but to understand your resting portfolio (see my example above) and consciously invest your “identity dollars” toward more desirable levels.

Note: There are many sub-levels to the I, the Ego level. See this article on Spiral Dynamics for one take on these sub-levels. If you are still struggling with the Witness level (pre-“enlightenment”), then you might do well to look how you are invested in these egoic levels and try to adjust accordingly.

Hopefully this is the end of the theory phase for awhile (though I do have a couple technique articles in mind…). Thanks for your patience.

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