A Step-by-Step Guide to the “Making It Personal” Oneness Meditation

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April 24, 2016 10:41 AM

For easy reference when doing this meditation, bookmark this page, print it, or save the photo above to your phone.

Please see this series of posts for the background material.


Choose a quiet setting. Sit down and get comfortables and select an object to focus your attention on. I’ll use a flower as the object in the steps below, but feel free to use whatever you want. Do not use a photograph or statue. It should be a real, physical, everyday object, not a representation of something else, not something that holds special significance to you.

Try to keep in mind that the purpose of this practice is to help you (whatever that is) dissolve into the Sea of Love and Light that lies behind it all. To make it easier for you to access Oneness “on demand.”

Five Steps:

  1. Try to expand and become one with the flower/object. Try to see the Love/Light/Source that lies “behind” the flower. Try to see the Love/Light/Source that lies behind YOU. Evaluate how close you feel to the flower/Love/Light/Source.
  2. Make a one sentence statement of something you take personally. Get in touch with how it contracts you out of the flower/Love/Light. Feel the contraction your statement causes. Experience how bad the contraction makes you feel as it pulls you away from the Flower/Love/Light.
  3. Recognize that your statement cannot be talking about YOU, because you are experiencing it. There are two things here: You, and the statement/thought which you are experiencing. One is YOU (the Witness), the other (the statement/thought) is not you—it cannot be you because YOU are experiencing IT.
  4. See and feel and drop the thought/statement as “not-you” and feel the contraction relax.
  5. Go to step 1, evaluating how close you NOW feel to the flower/Love/Light. Are you making progress?


  • Make a list of Me Stuff: Things I Take Personally. Make them one-sentence statements such as I wrote here or below.
  • Try to get in touch with the Love/Light/Source behind everything. Then evaluate each statement by how much it contracts or hardens you out of the Love and Light.
  • Order the list from most contracted to least contracted. The more contacted it makes you feel, the more it affects you.
  • When beginning the meditation, chose a statement from about the middle of your list.
  • After doing the five steps above, decide if you want to attempt an easier or harder statement based on how easy or difficult it was to “see and drop” the statement you just did.
  • During each round, make a mental note of any progress you are making. “Am I feeling closer, more one with the flower? Do I feel more expansive. Do I feel more in touch with the Love and Light behind it all?”

Some Example Statements

  • My body is fat.
  • am my body.
  • I’m an ex-soldier.
  • I’m a mother.
  • I’m dumb.
  • I’m smart.
  • I’m not very confident.
  • I don’t like it when X happens because it makes me feel Y. (Sometimes I feel Y.)
  • I’m the boss.
  • I’m a doctor.
  • I used to play football.
  • I’m a man.
  • I’m tall.
  • I’m ugly.
  • I’m married.
  • I cheated on X. (I’m a cheater.)
  • I’m a bad person.
  • I’m a person.
  • I’m human.
  • I deserve respect.
  • I want to be understood.
  • I don’t want [bad thing].
  • I want [good thing].

Unlike my 30-years of Who Am I?, I expect you’ll see some real and tangible progress right from the get-go—you’ll feel more expansive and connected to the flower and the Sea of Love and the Light behind it all (Source, TaoGod, …).

This feeling of connectedness/oneness will naturally fade throughout the day, but—with repeated practice—more and more of it will “stick.” Sort of like building calluses on your fingertips when learning to play the guitar, you should expect it to be a gradual process.

Feedback welcomed.

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4 thoughts on “A Step-by-Step Guide to the “Making It Personal” Oneness Meditation

  1. Hi Wayne. Pardon me if you feel I am intruding in your direct teachings, please remove my comment if so.
    I have seen self inquiry as the most confusing and wrongly tried exercise. Thus, I would like to point out it in common language adhering exactly to the steps and structure you mentioned. Tu put it in more experimental and experiential sense for many people,I recommend this

    First is this – (it is the step 2 & 3 of making the inquiry personal).
    “Try this deeply.
    Whenever you are feeling something strongly, like I am sad , Oh I made it this big, Yeah , I am at 9th moon, Why she does not talk to me ? , Oh, I am screwed !! , basically any strong emotion.
    Sit quietly feeling this. Close your eyes. Feel it deep , repeat the thought or feeling again and again. When you are full with that particular thought or emotion, Try to find the “I” or “me” which is feeling so strongly. Try locating the I , which is getting hurt or feeling so jubilant. Feel in your chest , feel it in your brain , feel in your body. See where is the suffering or happiness happening to. Where is the “I” that is feeling so much deep. Do this until you get some reasonable location or answer.
    Result – Try doing this for a while and see where and if you could locate your identity “I” , “me” or “your name” anywhere. ”

    For step 4,5
    “Second is when people try this and are able to say that -it is nothing, there is nothing which they could find. Don’t leave the exercise at just the point when mind says- there is nothing, there is no I. Now again start with this nothing. Keep searching and feeling this sense of nothingness while introspecting your strong thought/emotion. Further ahead, feel this nothing, explore it, open to it. Opening to this nothing is step 4-5 you mentioned.”

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