Dealing With Negative Personality Traits

What is stacked on the Foundation is not the Foundation

What is stacked on the Foundation is not the Foundation


October 25, 2016 11:36 AM

I know I’m all over the place on this blog… Kidney stones, I AM, TaoGod(I), nomad life, photography…. The book is a hell of a lot more organized.

Dealing with Shadow traits came up recently and I realized I needed to expand on this subject in the book. After writing it up, I realized it can be applied to any negative personality trait.

Who doesn’t have a little something they don’t like about themselves?

From the book…

Accept and Disown

Once Shadow beliefs come to the surface—once we are aware of them—they are no longer shadow beliefs, but simply negative traits our me-story clings too. Rather than trying to fix our negative traits though, it is usually better to accept them and disown them (dis-identify with them).

From a Google+ dialog with Michelle:

Wayne Wirs:

Shadow traits are obviously false beliefs that UNCONSCIOUSLY affect you in negative ways. Once they are brought to light, they no longer affect you unconsciously, but STILL AFFECT you. The difference is that you now know WHY you are acting/feeling this way.

ACCEPTANCE is far more time-efficient and loving than FIXING (which is a form of self-violence).

Seeing the beliefs/feelings as OTHER (not identifying with them) is “on message” that we are not the me-story. ACCEPTANCE helps here also.

For example, I hate weakness. This WAS a shadow trait stemming from my BELIEF that my father’s “be strong” attitude meant “be strong or I won’t love you.”

I HATE weakness in my attitude and actions. I HATE weakness in others who are obviously capable of helping themselves. “HATE” is the correct word (as difficult as that is to write). It’s a part of this thing I find myself in. It’s not me, it’s something I wear.

But KNOWING I feel this way, and WHY I feel this way, makes it much easier to deal with. When someone whines to me, I feel the anger and, knowing that it is an issue with my me-story, can distance myself from it and NOT ACT ON IT (usually). And when I do act on it, I almost immediately catch myself and can apologize.

Oddly enough, my hatred for my own weakness often manifests as strength, confidence and clarity in my message… an unexpected bonus. My hatred of weakness means I make sure I understand whatever it is I’m trying to convey.

Shadow beliefs are UNCONSCIOUS beliefs. Once they are CONSCIOUS, they can be accepted and dis-identified with. You’ll still wear them, but they won’t affect you nearly as violently as they did before.

“Hate” is a strong word, but I’ve never be one for playing nice with my spiritual development. Since I don’t identify with the emotion, hate is a perfectly acceptable emotion to experience. Lot’s of spiritual teachers like to present only their “bliss face” to their students, but I’m not one of them. Truth is truth and I’ll be damned if I’ll let some enlightenment is pure bliss fantasy persona stand in the way of helping others.

Michelle Martin:

Beautiful. That was very clarifying and helpful. So I don’t need to aim to have the beliefs OUT of my system…. Just to see them and dis-identify with them. This seems so obvious in retrospect. Of course this isn’t about being perfect (revealing an unconscious idea that was shaping my behavior, hahaha). It’s about seeing through it, that’s it. What a relief.

When you begin to accept your negative traits, not only do they affect you less harshly, but you’ll naturally begin to see them as other. In accepting and understanding them, you’ll feel a distancing from them.

Wayne Wirs:

Good. Don’t fret my issue with weakness. It’s my issue and not yours. The more I encounter it, the less it affects me. Besides, and this is totally un-PC, it’s mostly about weak acting MEN (See the shadow? See the projection? See how much I hate my me-story?). Women expressing self-doubt, troubles, etc., I have far less of a reaction to. Shadows are funny things.

Don’t try to fix your negative traits—that’s a never-ending battle you can’t win. Accept your traits and disown them. Do this, and they’ll naturally weaken on their own.

It's Time To Wake Up

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My Dying WordsImagine I have only seven days left to live.
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6 thoughts on “Dealing With Negative Personality Traits

  1. Hi! Are you near williams now? I ask because the campgrounds in the forest there, by the lakes ate so beautiful! Definitely my favorite place in summer. IF that’s where you are say hello to the trees for me? Enjoy!

    • Literally seconds after hitting “Publish” to upload this post I got a call from the VA moving my appointment from three weeks from now to tomorrow, so though I was in Williams, I’m now in Prescott. I’m sure I’ll be back and I’ll hug a tree for you. 🙂

  2. Hi Wayne,

    Some people have quite negative experiences with shadows in their minds. Some of the worst of this are called demons or archons. Castaneda referred to negative entities in the mind as inorganic parasites which he called ‘flyers’. I believe these things are much different than sublimated programming and need to be dealt with in a more aggressive manner than ‘identify and disown’.

    Also, we need to mention negative mind control technology that is apparently out there, which needs to be addressed. Some of this mind control tech is as simple as suggestive programming in advertisng, but this goes farther with black ops tech. This is not a pleasant topic, but is likely a real issue.

    Both of these above mind intrusions can be dealt with, but i think it needs a direct response. ‘Observe and disown’ might be a partial panacea but more is needed. I have my own methods. Do you have any you want to mention, Wayne?


  3. If acceptance leads to dis-identification (as a general practice), then the other side of the coin is acceptance of my “positive” traits. Why would I want to dis-identify with those? Because, the less there is of me (negative or positive) the more there is of the Divine.

    • Less ‘me’, more good stuff. That’s my motto. 🙂

      But seriously, most people get into spirituality to better their lives. Without this motivation, there’d be little reason to put in all the time and effort. Where the problems arise is when people subconsciously try to fix themselves rather than transcend themselves (theirselves? their selfs?).

      Less ‘you’ leads to a better, happier experience of life, but not a better ‘you.’

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