Do Enlightened People Have Sex?

Northern Exposure

Northern Exposure


September 11, 2016 9:16 AM

I get “Do Enlightened People Have Sex?” emails at least once a month, usually from guys worried they’ll lose all desire once they step though the Gateless Gate.

From a comment on the last blog post:

Respected Sir,
Do you experience sexual desire?
Do you experience penile erections in the morning during waking up?
Do you experience wet dreams and nocturnal emissions?if yes, how often?
Do you masturbate? if yes, How often?
Do you experience erections or slight erections when thinking about women sexually?
Do you have sexual thoughts?
OR since your Enlightenment
You have gone physically and mentally sterile and impotent?

I am sorry to be so vulgar, but spiritual teachers dance around questions of utmost importance and are so opaque about what’s on going on in their heads..You are the first one perhaps in the history of the Internet who is so approachable

Another thing

After Enlightenment, do you see the whole Universe in front of you? All the stars and galaxies?
After Enlightenment, do you see in front of you or know all the discovered and undiscovered equations, mathematics and theories that define Reality?

A little more detailed that I care to go into but, on September 4, I responded to a similar email. Here is my public and 100% safe for work response:

I once asked Eckhart Tolle’s then girlfriend (now wife) if they had sex. She got embarrassed and avoided answering the question. I too wondered, can someone as desireless as Tolle even have sex? Does enlightenment mean we must forsake it?

As long as you have a body, you’ll want sex. You are not the body, but the body is your vehicle. The body has needs and desires—food, sex, comfort, cleanliness. Once you stop identifying with these desires, they are no longer a problem. They are just other. My body has desires and I satisfy them as fits the situation. No biggie. My body isn’t me. It is just my vehicle for navigating this wonderful, manifest world.

It is a blessing to be born into a human body. Enjoy it, but don’t identify with it. With this attitude, you’ll feel a lot more free.

I was originally going to call this post Sex and the Siddhis but I’d be mixing my TV show metaphors (Roslyn, WA is where Northern Exposure was filmed). I’ll cover the siddhis (paranormal experiences and powers) alluded to in the original comment in a future post.

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9 thoughts on “Do Enlightened People Have Sex?

  1. Hi Wayne,

    I remember in one of your vids about enlightenment you indicated that this really is just a beingness state of not letting the ego be the boss, or think that its important, etc. Eckhart Tolle said a similar thing in a vid on the same topic.

    Funny that Jon Peniel emphasizes in ‘Children of the Law of One’ that unselfish love is the key to releasing one’s separation from the all.

    Now i find myself questioning my motivations for all things. Do they come from unselfish love? I obviously have to do things to take care of myself and my family, these i would consider honoring my personal responsibilities. But feeling unselfish love, or trying to, always makes me feel better.

    With love,

    • Yes, the love for others.

      If it helps, remember too that your body is other. Your thoughts are other. Even this individual, mortal life is other. Love that too. Not love of me, me, me, but love of the All that She is.

      It’s all about perspective… and attitude.

      • Hi Wayne,

        Thanks for your response. I can see that loving your body and mind as an ‘other’ is an effective way of detaching from the ego, which is aligned with the mortal self.

        I can see why Peniel’s writings emphasize unselfish love as the key to enlightenment. One detachs from the ego’s selfish interests which allows one’s being to reconnect with the great, universal spirit.

        Concentrating on identifying selfish motives and experiencing unselfish love for all things is an activity one can do anywhere, anytime. Makes me feel better, too! 🙂


  2. Just getting over a multi-week bout of lower back pain which prevented me from many aspects of normal functioning. It seemed to help avoid added psychological suffering by not identifying this pain as ‘my’ pain; it was just an unpleasant sensation occurring in this body. Like one day your car (or van) is working just fine, then out of the blue, your rear axle breaks or your transmission goes out. It’s not you, it’s just your vehicle. You are aware of the sensation we call pain, but it is not ‘your’ pain, just pain. The mechanic I took it to said they could probably fix it with a complex repair job, but that it would probably fix itself over time, which it has. Too bad my other vehicle with the Honda label can’t do that.

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