March 27, 2016 9:40 AM
Yesterday’s post may have made it appear that I am sad or depressed but that conclusion couldn’t be further from the truth.
I am ecstatic.
I feel as if a ten-pound tumor has been surgically removed from my chest. As if a heavy, dark weight has been lifted from my heart. A foul and heavy weight that I didn’t even realize I had—that I had been carrying around my entire life.
That’s how good I feel.
Some wonderful lessons I’ve learned from the experience:
- While I have transcended Death consciously (living as a Soul), subconsciously the Death Dude was still affecting my thoughts and decisions. (My Shadow: “You will run out of money and die if you don’t sell out.”)
- Subtle Collective Consciousness (previous examples here and here and here) seemed to have been influencing my mood:
- American’s anger/hopelessness in the political process (the Establishment nullifying the popular vote) seemed be be subconsciously influencing my feeling of hopelessness/helplessness that my message will never change the pseudo-savior message of the spiritual “Establishment”
- The worldwide Christians focus on the Christ/Easter story (suffering then resurrection) “energizing” yesterday’s petite dark night (suffering then falling through the Darkness into the Light)
- Not the Collective Consciousness, but still one of those weird, recurring siddhis (Michelle’s life often being “reflected” in my own): Michelle has been continuing with her Shadow work, and the similarity of our Shadow experiences (“Act out of love, not for reward”) obviously helped influenced a Shadow purging of my own.
- The vision of physical death as a metaphor for spiritual death. Though I’ve known that Mystics often experience the death of the Self as appearing as if it is their physical death, I had never experienced this pattern/archetype before (see also dan’s comment from yesterday).
- The fascinating technique inspired by Micheal’s comment which spontaneously occurred (remember, this was at five in the morning—no thought was put into technique). Though this was not the technique Micheal was recommending, I found that just by repeatedly looking into what my current emotion rested on, the whole emotional knot (the ten-pound tumor) collapsed in on itself.
- The surprise that all negative emotions rest on this vast “sea” of Love and Light (I’m still kinda digesting this, so my terminology is clunky) was shocking. It felt as if this experience (and it was an experience, not an insight) is the culmination (the enlightenment of) the Heart opening.
- The message received as a result of two other lessons (Death no longer a subconscious influence and the “sea” of Love and Light) allowed me to hear Her very subtle whisper, “If you want to continue, continue. If you don’t, don’t. But don’t do it out of any sense of expectation [of some form of reward].” What freedom! “Do it for Love, even if it is selfish love.” (See this image for a backwards compatible synchronicity.)
- Rob’s profound insight into the Acceptance/Action paradox something I hadn’t even thought about with everything else going on. A hell of a testimonial to boot (is that ego or gratitude on my part?): “This level of public transparency has probably never existed in the history of spiritual dialog, if for no other reason than the existence of you and the Internet. I cannot thank you enough.” Don’t thank me, my friend, thank Her (and the internet).
What a wonderful, wonderful experience. I am so grateful to all of you for your feedback and support.
I love you.
And I feel ten pounds lighter. 🙂
It's Time To Wake Up
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