August 13, 2017 2:02 PM
Here’s an email I received today (I was offline a few days). It’s a perfect, first-person description of what it’s like when the ego story is seen through—and just how hard it is to describe.
Notice a couple points (I bolded the appropriate text):
- How silly that we took the ego story so seriously pre-awakening (“Ahaha, it was all a joke!”).
- The constant and unexpected gratitude felt, well, constantly (“tears of grace”).
- The hopelessness just prior to awakening (“I think I was ready to die over these months”).
- How the world now looks so different, magical, and imbued (“And eeeeverything I saw was quite different.”)
- The feeling of shared connection/knowingness with/of everyone (“where do I recognize him from?”).
- The sudden and rapid awakening of the siddhis (“I thought I recognized you from somewhere”). His accounts remind me of the double-takes I often get (“that odd push-pull thing”).
- The confidence (now) that one’s actions are authentic, even if we can’t justify them (“I’m not gonna read what I just wrote here.”).
This is one of the biggest blessings of blogging transparently about spiritual awakening: You sometimes receive wonderful letters such as this. I’m grateful and honored to have received Mikael’s account…
I recently found you on youtube and I watched through pretty much all of your videos and I can definitely resonate with pretty much all that you have said. I’m glad to see that someone else has come to this place of enlightenment.
It has almost been a month since this realization (or however we wanna call it) happened to me. I laughed with tears on and off for 15 minutes going like “How is this even possible?!” (I thought that life was too good to be true, and still think) “How, how, how, how?!?” (.. And I wasn’t even asking how and why, but those were the words coming out of me.) “Ahaha, it was all a joke! How could I have been this wrong this entire life?!” Still wasn’t asking. Just some expression.
And every day since then I’ve splashed a couple of tears of grace coming out of me.
It came to me quicker than I thought. I had been trying to come to this understanding for a couple of months. Before than I was more into personal development. It just took 4-5 months.. I was ready to do it my entire life. I don’t know why and how I found this unchanging thing that I cannot explain through an answer so early. Maybe it was because I already had given up everything and didn’t care what would happen to me next in life. I think I was ready to die over these months.
I’m 22 years old, and I’ve been paralyzed from the chest and down since I was 19.
And it’s very mysterious how it happened. This wasn’t the regular car accident case or pool accident or whatever. I got very ill back in december of 2013, my autoimmune-response attacked my body instead of healing the body. So I both got meningitis AND an inflammation in my spine, the nerves in the spine. My doctor said that this is very rare and he had never ever heard or seen anything like it.
I used to be mad about it “why me???” And today I’m so so grateful that it happened. It made me help to lose hope for everything, which lead me into the teachings of enlightenment. It’s quite a long story, but I’m happy to tell it.
So, since the realization, very strange things have come. So about a month ago when I found.. It… I had to go for a hospital checkup. This was the first time getting out of the house after that experience. And it was and is still here (well.. it’s always here, the unchanging!)
And eeeeverything I saw was quite different. On the way to the hospital I couldn’t stop being completely “wow.. Look at all this.. This is just so.. wow..”
There is one thing I’ve never heard or read before (from anyone! Including enlightened beings)
When we arrived at the hospital, and I saw people.. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw a person was “hmm, where do I recognize him from? He kinda looks like.. (thinking of some celebrity or somethng) .. Nah that’s not it.. I don’t know” – for some reason I recognized him?? And then I saw the next person.. And I could recognize that person from something else.. And the next and the next.. And it kept going. This entire 5-day visit at the hospital.
And the nurses and such were so super nice to me, treating me like a friend?? I thought that this could be because I’m so open, smiling, and talking to them in a completely open way.
In that entire visit, one nurse said (after asking where I went to school and such) ”ah, well I didn’t go to the same school as you, but I thought I recognized you from somewhere.”
I wasn’t shocked, but more like “inteeerestiiing…”
And one doctor was visiting the room I was in and she said (after having a 2-second deep look at my face) “was I here talking to you already? Thought I recognized you”
Does this happen to you to? It’s still like this. I think it’s awesome..!
Before ending this message I wanna tell you that I love your videos, my favorite so far is “Three types of enlightenment”
I’m not gonna read what I just wrote here. I know I must have expressed something in a way that I myself will misunderstand or that I’ve expressed something that doesn’t really fit what I mean, but I’m just gonna leave it as it is! 🙂
Thanks for your work!!
// Mikael from Sweden
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