See You Soon

Wayne Wirs: 1961-2017

Wayne Wirs: 1961-2017

NEAR LA BARGE, WY

August 28, 2017 11:48 AM

Having accomplished in this incarnation all that I had set out to do (spiritual awakening in 2009 and writing Mystical Oneness last year), I left this planet on the morning of August 31, 2017 at one of my favorite camps along the Green River in Wyoming.

Both of my former vehicles—a 2013 Nissan NV2500 hightop van and a much older 1961 human male—can be found at these coordinates. (I wrote this post earlier and scheduled it to be published after I detached from these silly, mortal remains.)

Do not be sad for me. For years I’ve looked forward to death. I’ve longed to merge with the Light/Her/my Beloved again. Not out of sadness or depression or anything negative, but—like two lovers once separated—as an eagerly awaited reunion.

As I type this—standing and in incredible physical pain—I’m really looking forward to being with Her again.

The Details

One of the key properties of awakening is the loss of attachments—attachments to your ego, attachments to your job, attachments to your stuff, even attachment to life itself.

One of the most profound benefits of losing the fear of death, is that you learn to appreciate life in all its beauty and splendor—especially in the simplest, everyday things. I hope I’ve clearly shared this love and appreciation over these many years of blogging.

But with this lack of attachment to life also meant I lost my sense of… patience with physical pain or restrictions to my freedom. This unwillingness to put up with what millions of people put up with everyday (physical pain, homelessness, penniless, …) probably makes me seem a bit prima donna-ish. From my perspective though, I’m simply not attached to life, so why live a life I don’t want to (homeless, broke, or in deep, physical pain)?

So, over time, I set up some tripwires—red-line events—that should I encounter any one of them, I’d simply check out of this life and start a new one:

  1. Running out of money
  2. Losing my home (my van, Serenity)
  3. Unbearable pain not resolved by a trip to the emergency room

The last one I added after my last go-round with my last kidney stone last year. I said, “That’s it. I’m not locking myself into a single location because of health or pain issues ever agin.” Any of the above red-line events affect both my freedom and quality of life.

About a month ago I slipped on a boulder along a river in Colorado and hurt my back. Since then the pain has been gradually building. I was able to make the trip down to Florida, but the flight back was pretty miserable. I suspect the fall caused some damage that my body is compensating for and this has started putting pressure on the sciatic nerve.

The pain really hit me though, a few days after the eclipse. After waking up, I almost called an ambulance because I couldn’t figure out a way to get out of bed without “dental pick to a raw nerve” pain shooting through the right side of my body (9 of 10 level pain). I don’t know what triggered this sudden and rapid escalation of the condition.

Long story short: I experience about 50-75 “dental pick” shocks of pain every day. Two visits to the VA and one to a chiropractor left me nothing but a six-day course of steroids, three days of pain meds (can you believe that? how to torture pseudo-homeless veterans), and seven days of muscle relaxers. They didn’t perform any X-rays or MRIs. Apparently, even with a pulse rate of 130 bpm, they still figured I was faking it for the hydrocodone. None of the meds have helped, and the pain has only worsened every day.

Off topic, but maybe a stepping stone to Bernie Sanders’ “Medicare for All” initiative would be to first implement a “Medicare for All Veterans” plan. Sort of solve two problems with one politically-friendly option and open the door for future healthcare growth. Eh, maybe my next life. Maybe a reader can pick up that mantel.

Anyway, as to the pain, to go from sitting to standing (and vice versa) hits me with at least three seconds of level 9 pain (swearing like a sailor while crying like a little girl) followed by 5 minutes of the pain gradually subsiding to about a 5 (my now daily and “normal” pain level). Getting in and out of the driver’s seat (with all its contortions) is even worse.

Sitting, because it puts pressure on the inflamed/damaged/who-knows-what-else sciatic nerve in my right glute (butt cheek) never gets less than a level 6 (usually 7) pain (like sitting on a thick metal rod or spike). Needless to say, this makes driving nearly impossible (I really should have stopped driving about a week ago, but a nomad who can’t drive is, well…). I’m standing—with painful shin splints in my right leg due to all the muscles compensating—in order to type this.

I know, I know, I know. This pain can be fixed. Surgery (maybe); an injection of botox (maybe); physical therapy (maybe); …. To which I must counter: VA health system; living in a van; loss of my freedom to wander; and “Is it safe?” levels of pain (Marathon Man (don’t watch that scene, it’s too upsetting)) 50-75 times a day until it’s resolved.

Plus no attachments to anything in life. Nothing holding me here.

Simply put, I’ve no patience for getting old. Patient enough to put up with a week of excruciating pain to see if the meds do their job, but not patient enough to fight what is. Okay, maybe I am a prima donna. 🙂

(Status update August 30, 2017 9:59 AM: The pain has not subsided. If anything, it is worse due to my right leg muscles compensating for the right glute.)

Reincarnation

I will be coming back though. I still have work to do on the TaoGod(I) Aspect (of the Nine Aspects of Being). This is the Aspect of divine union and probably why She stopped me from writing Being God: A User’s Manual. When you write a book on spirituality, you should at least be proficient (and ideally living one level above) the level you are writing about. Being God was more of a theory—a worldview—than most my other, experiential and evidence-based works.

(Status update August 30, 2017 9:59 AM: I have spent these final days focusing on exactly what I am to help with the death process and merging with the Light: I am Love. Aware, intelligent Love. Everything else is just the fog around me-as-Love. You are Love too.)

Now here’s where you can do me a favor (as crazy as it sounds). If you have a child or grandchild born anywhere from nine months to, say, nine years from now, and they have a birthmark on their right butt cheek (which is the center of all the pain I’m experiencing) or a damaged/birthmarked/missing right leg, then please introduce them to Mystical Oneness—or at least the theory—at an early age (you’re a fan anyway… pass it on!).

Birthmarks are often reflections of trauma sustained during the last moments of the previous life (see The Free Soul). As I will be inhaling helium to cease this misery (you just go to “sleep”) there won’t be any violent trauma type of injuries/birthmarks.

If I have any say in the matter, I’m going to try to find a fan of my work, and choose them as my next family. So there you go, I’m confessing one of my selfish reasons for writing Mystical Oneness: as a shortcut to my next life’s awakening. So in nine months, start checking those babies’ butts! 🙂

Mom

Mom, my only regret in this life is that I had to go first and put you through this. You’re just too damn healthy! I know you intuited this a few weeks ago in FL. Dad once told me that his “death tripwire” was if he ever got to the point he couldn’t go to the bathroom by himself. The other day, I almost passed out—my vision started to go dark—from the pain of sitting on a toilet in a Walmart (toilet seats hit the glute at the exact spot which sets off the 9 level, dental pick to the nerve-type of shock and pain). Dad was a wise man. Please don’t be too sad. I’ll see you soon enough. I love you.

Jeff

Jeff, there should be plenty of money in my bank account to handle all expenses. Save some money and toss my old body in the garbage for all I care. If you decide to sell Serenity, Bob Wells—a friend and big name in van dwelling circles—did a video on Serenity not long ago. I’m sure one of his tens of thousands of fans may be interested in her as there were a lot of positive comments on the video.

I’ve also just paid another $360 to Media Temple (the hosting service) so the blog should be good for another two years. You’ll have to figure out the password for the blog (username = admin then my standard password + pattern that I hope you remember). All passwords should be accessible via Safari on my iPhone, iPad, or Macbook once you unlock these devices (if these devices haven’t been stolen by whomever finds the van).

As for everything else, well, you’re a smart guy and you’ll figure out all the details. I love you brother. Sorry to leave you with another retirement project. You’ll be on that sailboat soon. 🙂 Kiss the kids and grandkids for me.

To All

Do not feel sad. I have accomplished everything I have set out to do. No authentic spiritual teacher fears death, so why would they allow themselves to endure physical suffering?

If I could only share one thing to help you grow it is to always remember this:

The less there is of you, the more there is of the Divine.

And if I could only share one piece of advice for your happiness it would be this:

Do everything for Love and everything you do will make you happy.

I’ll see you soon (no one ever dies).

I love you,

Wayne

It's Time To Wake Up

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My Dying WordsImagine I have only seven days left to live.
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121 thoughts on “See You Soon

  1. @ Rob

    Avatar is a great movie, aligns with Wayne’s perspective that we are simply using a human avatar in this great earth experiment, to further our soul’s development.

    If Wayne’s incarnation has satisfied his purpose in this lifetime, then there’s no point in dragging thru the rest of life with unbearable pain and suffering for no reason. I totally understand and agree with his position. It seems he has accomplished everything he needed to do, teaching and sharing his awakening experience. And touched many lives with his presence.

    One more for the proverbial road:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipGf5wWLf9Y

    ♪Oh how I wonder, oh how I worry, and I would dearly like to know
    I’ve all this wonder, of earthly plunder, will it leave us anything to show
    And our time is flying, see the candle burning low
    Is the new world rising, from the shambles of the old

    If we could just join hands♪

  2. Thank you, Rob. That sheds some light on Wayne’s experience of pain. I had some good conversations with Wayne a year ago or so. I related to his freedom and so we connected. Pain is a great attention-getter, especially when it is severe 10. And, as you say, we all experience it differently. What’s 10 for one person may be less for another person. I used to be very pain averse or pain sensitive. Many things were 10 for me. When I lost identification with the body, I became far more tolerant of pain that I was not tolerant of before. When I might have considered 8-10 before, became more of what I called an experience or sensation. Sometimes an intense sensation. I stopped using the word pain to describe any of my experiences that I had previously called pain. Now they are experiences or sensations of the body. That seemed to help a lot with the tolerance of pain, simply not using that word any longer. I am fortunate not to have much pain in my life at the moment. That’s why I am grateful for your description of Wayne’s experience. It helps me understand better since that is not my current experience.

    For a number of years I realized I could shift my attention to awareness itself from the body and any sensation the body had. I had my first migraine headache a few months ago. That felt like 10 to me. Very intense sensation. When I shifted my attention to what was aware of this experience and this body, there was zero experience of pain. When I shifted it back to the body, intense number 10 sensation. I seem to be able to shift back and forth at will. But I eventually stayed with the body sensation because, painful as it was, it was here for a reason. The realization that I could be completely free of that sensation when it got too intense simply by shifting my attention to what is never affected by the body was all I needed to know. It’s also useful at the dentist. 🙂 I was surprised that I chose to stay with the pain even though I didn’t have to.

    It’s important to know that we are not the body, not our thoughts or feelings, not our experiences, not our perceptions. When we experience this directly, we realize that what we are has never been affected by anything that we’ve experienced in our life, in this one or any other. There is enormous freedom in this.

    From what you have written, Rob, I can see that very intense pain might be so strong that it can hold our attention and prevent us from moving it elsewhere, like to consciousness itself. I can’t speak to that as I only have the migraine headache, some shoulder pain from boxing and the dentist minus novacaine to experiment with. No chronic pain. Small potatoes. I do have a good friend who has chronic pain. After her awakening, she said the pain has not changed but her attitude toward it is completely different. To all outward appearances she is radiantly happy and at peace. And that is what she feels and experiences. I was a bit surprised when she told me the chronic pain had not changed at all nor could it as it came from nerve damage to her spine.

    I enjoyed my conversations with Wayne. I wish he had mentioned his pain to me but perhaps it had not begun yet. The most important thing is what we can learn from this. I can imagine that it would probably be very difficult for me if my attention were distracted by pain from Presence and awareness beyond a body and separate self identity. I don’t know how I would help people the way I do now. It all comes only from Presence. Without that, I don’t know what I could offer. I don’t know what I would do. I never know what I would do until the moment that it occurs, so that’s nothing new. It’s just honest.

    I just heard about this from a friend. It’s probably a lesson for me in this as well. I don’t know what it is yet. Wayne didn’t mention his method for ending his life. Or at least I didn’t see it in his letter or missed it if it was there. I’m not sure why I’m even curious. But it does give more of a complete picture.

    We come. We go. But that is only bodies. What we are never comes or goes. It is always here. But bodies do come and go. Persons, personalities, thoughts, feelings, experiences, sensations all come and go. A human life is not much more than a hundred years at most. That is but the blink of an eye in eternity. It is over almost before it’s begun. Seeing this, its temporariness, we cannot miss each precious moment. No moment can ever come again. It is entirely new in each moment. This is Presence. Awareness attaches to nothing. It is all changing. Awareness resists nothing, not even pain. It is all changing. Yet awareness loves all experiences equally without preference or judging. Because it exist, it is loved. That’s all it takes. Just its existence. I don’t know anything. But somehow this is crystal clear, not in a mental way. It just is.

    One moment. One life. One sunset. One excruciating sensation. Somehow awareness says yes to all of them. It is a profound, open hearted yes with no attachment or resistance. Just yes. Repeated silently but without ceasing. In every moment, yes. In every moment, yes. The death of a loved one, yes. The birth of a child, yes. The sinking of the sun, yes. The rising of the moon, yes. The death of a planet, yes. The birth of a universe, yes. What else can I leave you with but this yes.

  3. I only “knew” Wayne through his blog, and I only make these comments in that context. I related to Wayne in many ways – same age, same “troubled mystic” persona, same low tolerance for complexity, compromise, connection, and pain and adversity.

    Genuine mystical experiences lead the experiencer to believe they are the first to have such profound insights. This can lead to a messianic sense of mission, isolation, and fate. (The development of unique language describing the insights is symptomatic.)

    Would that Wayne had recognized how relatively common his experiences were. He might have found community, thus reducing the burden of being a lone savior. Having said that, there is no judgment. I still relate to Wayne, including the isolationism.

    I realize that his family and friends may be reading this. I mean no disrespect. Again, my comments only relate to his online persona. Your lifetime of experiences with Wayne and your grieving (despite Wayne’s admonition) are what matter. May you find peace.

    To Wayne himself, well, it’s all good, isn’t brother?

    And one more song. The lyrics don’t fit, yet they do:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fXnRf3TQcpk

  4. @ Rob – Totally agree with you. When I shared this news with a very good friend of mine, she just was confused whether it was the right way (and she was utterly sad as well).
    But just as you mentioned, the one who has to endure the pain knows what he/she is going through And add to this fact that towards the end there was hardly any attachment to the body that Wayne felt and therefore Wayne’s ‘take on the Life’ that lived through him would have to be taken in that light.

  5. This is not a criticism of Wayne’s actions. I loved spending the time I did with him when we were BATGAP buddies. But many people have expressed confusion over this. And I felt a disturbing, kind of “off” feeling that I knew was a lesson I should pay attention to. That “off” feeling had to do with the act of suicide and when I explored what felt “off” about it what arose was choice and what was doing the choosing. Here is what came through, at least so far. It feels right.

    Suicide
    Death is not wrong. It is as perfect as birth and just as necessary. Birth without death is impossible. Choosing to end one’s own life feels a little different. It feels that it is saying, “I have control. I can choose when and how I will die.” And this may be true, but WHAT is doing the choosing. WHAT is having this control. That cannot be other than the illusory separate self.

    If we let life tell us when and how we die, it feels much more in alignment with Truth. I don’t even give the separate self the control or choice of writing what is being written right now. The separate self has no business in my life other than as a character, a role used for social convenience. That is its only reality.

    On the stage, if the character begins to say different words than are on the script, it’s going to get rather messy rather quickly. It is not so different in life. In life the character simply acts as life requires in each moment. If it begins to make choices and act as it wants or desires, then we call that preference, opinion, judgment and, yes, choice. All of this is the world of the separate self identity. The character that believes it is real. I don’t think suicide is possible without this. And this is why suicide just doesn’t feel in alignment with Truth.

    Death from illness, accident, old age, victim of murder or war, etc. feels very natural to me. Suicide alone somehow feels very different. This is not a value judgment, religious or spiritual teaching. It is not a belief or thought. Those things mean nothing to me. I am only interested in Truth. And Truth has a feeling about it. And the feeling feels “off”, which means to me not in alignment with Truth.

    You can grieve over the death of a loved one from accident, illness, murder, etc. But if you become still and listen to your inner wisdom, you know that this is in alignment with Truth. Bodies die, some very young, even as infants, even before they are born. There is an essential naturalness to this beyond our thoughts and beliefs that children should not die, etc.

    But suicide doesn’t have that essential naturalness to it. It’s not just because bodies have a very basic survival mechanism built in. It’s what is making this choice.

    It is not unusual for the egoic sense of self identity, the doer, the one who makes choices to choose to die rather than be exposed or reduced in stature. I’m not saying that this is the case here with Wayne. I don’t think it is. I think it is simply a matter of choice.

    And my question is WHAT is making this choice? Is it life? Or is it the sense of the separate self identity that believes IT has a choice because IT is real? I’m aware that for most this may be quite hard to understand. If you still believe in a separate self-identity, a doer, a chooser, as 99.9% of all humans do, it is impossible to even imagine what it is like without it. I can only say that all spiritual teaching in all traditions is pointing to this very reality, this very freedom from illusion. In a single moment free of thoughts, you cannot help but directly experience this. This is what we call Presence, reality, Truth, Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana. If we wait for death to experience this freedom, we have completely missed the opportunity to discover what has always been right here.

  6. Today is teacher’s day in India, where I live. It is the day we say thanks to all the teachers in our lives. Even without my knowledge, I was learning from Wayne. With tears in my eyes, thanks Wayne, for being my teacher. Even though i never met you, I feel like I have lost a friend.

  7. I have written thtee comments..none appear to have posted. I turned many dear friends onto Wayne and loved him. Please release my posts so others can read them as my views give voice to comcerns I have about handling physical/emotional pain with suicide. I speak with a huge concern that we allow the anguish and anger that arises when we find out a friend has killed himself begore we had a chance to help him. I would have flown out to help drive him here to Texas where my friends would have given him sanctuary ..feed him..and given him bodywork to get him better. Do..now that you know how committed I was..I sincerely hope you will allow my heart to be shown through my words.Wayne respected varying views and never prevented me from being heard..I hope you don’t either..Thanks and God Bless.

  8. With my apologies, dear moderator, I had not seen that my first posts were still awaiting moderation. So I thought they were not placed. Reason I posted another one, with the hope that one at least would appear.

  9. Two weeks ago I sent a donation to Wayne with a small note in the small character limit paypal allows. I’m glad I was able to tell him I thought Mystical Ones was an incredible book. I also linked him the coordinates of a place near Carter, WY – telling him I thought of it as a special place if he was ever back through south west Wyoming. I grew up in the area, the land was always special. Native Americans made these lands home for many years. The bones of creatures that roamed the earth before humans are scattered in the dirt and clay.

    He replied in thanks for the words and donation. A week later I had the experience of reaching a deep state of samadhi for many hours. I awoke early to little sleep to buy burritos for myself and SO. The morning was beautiful.

    I put on this podcast:
    https://www.dharmaocean.org/episode-191-path-of-opening-down-part-i/

    I was so greatful for being shown the wonder of THIS.

    That Thursday I had a strong urge to write Wayne and tell him about the experience. I also wanted to make another donation in gratitude. After writing a lot of words the desire to actually send it left me. One part from the email I did want to share (trying to somehow tie all these words to his offer to let him know if I had any questions about things in the book):

    “I was trying to think of a question that was meaningful to me at the moment. Things are rising and falling so quickly here that it was hard to find any important question. I have been stuck to the word ‘remember’ for a few weeks now. Since I first did yoga years ago when an instructor would talk of remembering I would get a faint joy in my heart. The answer seemed simple though – remember my true nature. A little while ago I watched the cat tower bathed in light from the window. As the feeling of nostalgia and half remembered things came over me I felt joy at this sensation of remembering. I think this may be what I was trying to remember, hahah. ”

    That was the day he left his body. I am so greatful he was able to leave these writings.

    The only other thing I had wanted to share with him was reading this post on Michelle’s old blog:
    https://web.archive.org/web/20160222051845/http://michellegrace.net/2015/02/10/love-as-healing/

    I had wanted to say how much that post had opened my heart when reading it. I don’t know if the blog was put down for personal reasons or just lack of interest. I wanted to offer to help pay to keep it online if I could. I found many of the posts very helpful and it fills out some of the links in this blog.

    Love and Gratitude,
    Phil

  10. Oh my Taogod! Wayne is gone!
    I remember our conversations, his fun and loving character… such a sad day.
    Forever grateful. Love. Rest in Peace.

    Wayne, my friend, now that you have taken “The less of you…” to the extreme, I’m sure you have finally merged with the Divine. Enjoy it!
    No more pain. Just loving and smiling till the end of time…

    People, now that Wayne is gone, it’s up to us to deliver his message. Simple yet powerful. But if you want to pay him a real tribute… don’t just talk it, walk it!

    What’s the secret to life and happiness?
    What’s left when the ‘”me” is out?
    Love.

    Love yo you, Wayne, and love to all.
    The less of you…

  11. Do not really know what to think. Sadness is present. Do not want to judge Wayne’s decision. His words helped me develop. Owe Wayne a deep debt of gratitude. We have to carry on without your guidance. Rest in peace my friend.

  12. Namaste’/Nomistake.
    Blessed Be.
    No one knows what anyone else has discovered.
    No one knows when or how anyone else will leave the body and depart the physical/material consciousness.
    Judge not.
    There is no right or wrong.
    Happy release, Brother ॐ

  13. Don’t we owe it to Wayne to believe that he would like for us to know how not to end up in the sad painful situation he came into by only not identifying with his body, as obviously that was not enough? That one must recognize one’s connection and even oneness with God in the first place, and the rest will take care of itself?

    Is that not the very valuable lesson Wayne out of great courageous charity was willing to teach us, all to our benefit? That merely not identifying with one’s humanity is only helpful to a limited extend?

    He fully deserves our loving recognition for that. Even that he was God Who in the disguise as Wayne was willing to teach us that valuable lesson.

  14. I do not know what to think. I am absolutely shocked to come back to Wayne’s blog and to read his post. Oh my god….Is this true? Or hopefully some prank? I would have never thought to read lines like these. I somehow can believe it.
    I really liked your blog a lot, Wayne. …
    S.

  15. Every day in the United States, 22 veterans commit suicide. Wayne Wirs was a veteran, and he committed suicide. In my opinion, that is the most telling fact about Wayne’s passing. He wrote that his military service made him a “trained killer,” and that he almost died during that service.

    He created an elaborate spiritual narrative about his choice to end his life. It is important, in my opinion, that we not take that narrative at face value, or at least that we not take that narrative to be the whole story. I think Wayne wanted to kill himself because of the trauma he carried from his service.

    Again and again, he repeated two catchphrases:

    “The smart have their books and the wise have their scars.”

    “The less there is of me, the more there is of God.”

    I’ve wondered about the scars. The word seemed to suggest something finished, healed, but I think the reality was, those were not scars. They were open wounds.

    Throughout nondual culture you encounter the attitude that true awakening, enlightenment, involves complete annihilation of the relative person, of the little “me,” of the ego.

    I don’t believe this attitude was the cause of Wayne’s demise. Rather, I believe it was a convenient, readymade, compelling argument he could adopt for the powerfully self destructive undercurrent that surged through him and carried him toward oblivion. It was a cloak of invisibility he could don to cover the scars, the open wounds, the raw humanity. In a phrase, it was a spiritual bypass.

    That expression is often used dismissively, as a criticism or even an attack, but I think it’s important that we understand this without judgment, without condescension. It’s unfair to Wayne to say he was deluded or he was lying to himself. He was simply wounded, and he was trying to find a way to address his woundedness.

    He wrote eloquently about his desire to merge completely with God. I think his experience of God was authentic and his urge for total unity with God was real. But I also think he was describing an urge to lose himself, to fly free from the trauma he carried, in that merging.

    He spoke for years about his intention to kill himself. He set three “tripwires” he would respond to with suicide:

    Running out of money

    Losing the van he lived in

    Pain that did not resolve with a trip to the emergency room

    The first two could be solved with a blog post, and the third is absurdly demanding and impatient. A trip to the emergency room is a starting point, not a solution. Wayne’s sciatica was treatable, I’ve no doubt of that. He only accepted cursory treatment, and he consciously acted in a way that made the pain worse. He said driving made it worse, but he kept driving until he could no longer remain sitting. He said he didn’t want to go through physical therapy. He was a strong, healthy man in his fifties. It may be the pain would have resolved if he simply stopped driving for a few weeks. My sense is, he was terrified of having to depend on other people, and he was terrified of being told what to do. And my sense is, he simply wanted to die.

    There has been much discussion about “conscious choice.” In my opinion, this framing is problematic and even dangerous. Anyone who wants to die can tell themselves they are making a conscious choice. Those discussions are online, in the open. Anyone can see them, including those who are lost, desperate, looking for a way out, looking for a rationalization. I’m concerned that some may look to Wayne’s way of passing as an example, as a template. I’m concerned that we, in our respect for Wayne as a spiritual person and a spiritual teacher, not become enablers, facilitators of premature death. We must, in my opinion, separate the fact of Wayne’s suicide from the persona of an awakened teacher he presented.

    I have seen comments that “He couldn’t have been awakened,” invoking the impossible (and pervasive) paradigm that all human fallibility must have burned away for an awakening to be authentic.

    As I knew him and experienced him, Wayne was luminously awake. He wrote brilliantly, beautifully, soaringly about his experience, and he offered insights and encouragements that have inspired and benefitted many who have encountered them.

    Wayne was awake, I’ve no doubt of it. And he was human. In his awakeness, he was truly one with God, I’ve no doubt of that. And in his humanness, he was deeply wounded. There is no contradiction in this. For our own sake, for the integrity and authenticity of our own awakening, each of our awakenings, each of us, it is important that we understand and come to peace with that paradox.

    • Hello Jerry,

      you are an excellent observer – your last post explains a lot about Wayne’s possible train of thought. Thank you, mate. We all seem to be masters of suppression. I will carry on using his knowledge – it is direct, unmasked and parallels a lot of what ist said by other enlightened souls.

      Best wishes
      Marcus

    • SAD / Missing Wayne, he helped me so much – never met him.

      I am also an army veteran (Vietnam) and I disagree with Jerry. My service and consequential life as a seeker makes me take Wayne at face value. There is too much supposition / projection of Jerry’s “self” into Wayne’s situation. I believe many veteran’s having faced “extinction” lose their fear of death – perhaps subconsciously seeing Wayne’s own understanding. Wayne certainly had rationalized his lack of fear both logically and experientially and I think / feel a person should accept his words as honestly reflecting his perspective. While I think my own response would be closer to Jerry’s analysis, it is disingenuous to twist Wayne’s well reasoned words to fit one’s own perspective.

      Wayne, I will keep a watch for a baby / child displaying issues / birthmarks on their right buttocks / leg per your request.

      Thank you for your transparency and sharing.

    • Thank You Jerry. Deeply perceived through the lens of someone who gets what trauma is and how it shapes our identifications. Including our “new” spiritual identifications. After awakening there is a lot of shit that is calling for good composting attention and that requires ruthless honesty with and reflection from ‘others’ in my experience. Awakening is a re-birth and from there the healing and ‘becoming human’ only begins as a movement of Love itself.

  16. My heartfelt condolences to Wayne’s family and friends. I have been a follower of his writings for several years. I found him to be a beautiful person with a beautiful message. Journey on Wayne, I’m missing you terribly.

  17. I am sorry to read about the passing of Wayne. My thoughts and prayers are with all his family and friends. I’m completely convinced that there were other options to explore. I only wish that Wayne had reached out prior to his final decision. RIP Wayne until we meet again.

    Omar

  18. Thank you Mister Wayne. And thanks to all those who take the time to write notes and express their thought… i find life, sometimes, hard…. those comments help me…

  19. Oh Dear, Bless you Wayne. I have followed Wayne’s blog for many years and read his teaching’s and practices, not necessarily participating but just seeing the love that Wayne embodied and reached out with to all of us with that divinity knowingness. There was not too many days I went without at least checking out his blog and listening to what he was saying, and also admiring those photo’s that he had taken over the years. Bless you Wayne.

  20. Wow… I never met Wayne. I cried reading his post. I know the pain he is speaking about. Spine pain is unbearable. I had it and went thru many years of physical therapy to reduce my pain levels. Yes, your first thought is to end your life when you don’t feel relief. I kept searching for EXCELLENT physical therapist and tried alternate treatments . I wish I could have helped him. Good bye Wayne…many blessings to hpyou in the next life.

  21. Well said Jerry. He was definitely both.
    When he would ” Open Open Open. Truly an energy and clarity was there.
    On the other hand there was a ” guy ” trying to figure it out. To be right. To know. And also to help.
    I’ve seen this event coming for awhile, and apparently so did his mom. When I followed his blog closer, in the past, I would comment to him and try to steer him back. He was a bit stubborn however. 🙂 A closed ness.
    I’ve always thought, although I never told him. His works and his books were really a case study on the trials that may arise when seeking the truth. Wayne being so transparent and articulate, showcased that beautifully.
    He was trying to teach or show a way, but “the way ” has been stated for eons if you can only hear. His real teaching was his journey, out there for all to see.

  22. Here, for what it’s worth, is the essay I sent Wayne a few years back. He writes about it his book, A Mystic’s Journal, which culminates in the resolution of “The Mystic’s Dilemma,” which the essay helped him resolve.” When I saw his interview however long ago that was, I was concerned he was trying to annihilate the little “me” and I reached out to him. We spoke at length a couple of times and exchanged emails and online messages frequently:

    Regarding mind and Brahman …

    I’ve never quite bought the idea that the world is a dream, mind unreal and thoughts just projections, clouds that float across the sun to be dismissed as mere shadows, distractions, entanglements.

    Ordinary waking consciousness is itself a dream because in ordinary waking consciousness, we do not see things as they are. We see ourselves as separate, identified with and defined by whatever the little “me” has attached to. In ordinary waking consciousness, I am these relationships, this profession, these accomplishments, these possessions, this reputation, this personality, this body … and everything else is “not me.”

    We see things as solid, separate objects, material “things” that are distinct from other material things. Things bang into other things, rebound like billiard balls and then bang into more things in a cascade of seemingly discrete encounters that appear to us as “cause and effect.”

    This is the world of Newtonian physics, of matter and energy, a clockwork universe. But there is an Einsteinian world, a universe of infinite quantum fields where matter and energy are not separate, and there are no separate “objects.” There is a single underlying reality that appears as myriad different things but really is fundamentally one, undivided field. That is what the modern understanding of physics, quantum field theory, superstrings, tells us.

    And that is what we awaken to.

    Knowledge is different in different states of consciousness. Each state of consciousness has its own reality that is true, authentic and valid for that state of consciousness, but not true, authentic and valid for another.

    A teaching may be true or useful in one state of consciousness, but no longer true or useful after we have awakened to the next state of consciousness. We create problems for ourselves if we try to apply the truths of one state of consciousness to another state of consciousness where they are not true.

    People do this all the time.

    We do it when we try to apply the truths of an awakened state of consciousness to ordinary waking consciousness. We may tell ourselves, “I am not the mind, I am not my thoughts, I am not the little ‘me’ that imagines it is a separate thing,” and it is all right to tell ourselves that.

    But we cannot awaken ourselves to the reality that our true identity is not the mind, thoughts, the little “me” by simply telling ourselves it is so. We may attach ourselves to this effort. We may persist dogmatically toward a purely mental construction of what we imagine awakening should be. We may convince ourselves intellectually, psychologically, that the mind is unreal, even that the little “me” doesn’t exist.

    And we may hypnotize ourselves into thinking we have awakened where no actual awakening has happened. In doing that, we may drive ourselves into a state of dissociation. We may find ourselves stranded in a no man’s land where we have severed our connection with the world, severed our connection with our own mind, personality and feelings, without recourse to the infinite transcendental Self that is beyond them and is what we really are.

    Awakening is exactly what the word means. We awaken into a completely different state of consciousness, a completely different world. We cannot awaken ourselves from a dream simply by dreaming about waking. And we cannot transcend the relative mind, we cannot arrive at the infinite, unbounded source of thought, the eternal, transcendental Self, simply by thinking about how unreal the relative mind must be.

    We may awaken into an intermediate state of consciousness, where we have found ourselves to be the witness, the infinite eternal Self deep within, silent, separate and untouched by the world, where the mind, ego, little “me” are no longer imagined to be true self. In that intermediate stage, the mind, thoughts, little “me” may seem clearly to be illusory, transient. We don’t merely believe or understand they are illusory; we see it. But, real as that seeing is, true and valid for that stage of awakening, it is only an intermediate stage.

    Knowledge is different in different states of consciousness.

    As we continue to awaken, we may continue to tell ourselves, “the mind is unreal, thoughts are only projections … .” But when awakening has matured into unity, into Brahman consciousness, which sees all things are Self and there is nothing that is not Self, then everything is real.

    Here, the universe that is Brahman consciousness is discovered to be a magical, enchanted world where everything is made of consciousness, everything is alive.

    Each thing, each encounter, exchange, movement, sensation, thought, emotion, perception … is part of an infinitely complex, beautiful and perfect dance. All becomes a perfectly choreographed interplay of Self interacting, dancing with Self. Universal Self dancing with individual self. Universal, infinite Self dancing with universal, infinite Self as it somehow, impossibly, moves in this place, sees from these eyes, from my eyes, here in this place, in my place, and sees itself, discovers itself, worships itself, me, in every form, everywhere throughout time and space and eternity.

    “Brahman is the act of offering. Brahman the oblation poured by Brahman into fire that is Brahman. To Brahman alone must he go who is fixed in Brahman through action.”

    ~ Bhagavad Gita ch. 4, v. 24

    Everything becomes synchronicity. Everything becomes meaningful, purposeful. No longer does anything appear to “cause” anything else. Or it may be seen that any pair of “cause and effect” can be interchanged. “This only happened as a result of that” is just as easily seen as “That only happened so it could result in this.”

    “The enlightened knower of Brahman knows the unity of cause and effect.” Everything perfectly fits. Everything is real. The world is real. The mind is real. Thoughts are real. The little “me” is real.

    “Only Brahman is real.”

    And it is all Brahman. The world is Brahman. The mind is Brahman. Thoughts are Brahman. The little “me” is Brahman.

    But if we have attached ourselves to the idea that “the mind is unreal, thoughts are only projections … ,” that attitude may persist even after awakening to unity. We may shut ourselves out from fully living Brahman consciousness. Out of habit, we may stand frozen in an attitude of aloof dismissal, on the sideline, while the universe dances without us.

    That is the enlightenment a great many people imagine. That is the enlightenment a great many people pursue, hypnotically questing for a pristine, perfectly uninvolved, flat, monochrome, worldless, mindless, thoughtless, egoless, “me”-less … “enlightenment” they will never achieve, that no one ever can achieve.

    And in that questing, they will miss the enlightenment that is their birthright. They will miss the enlightenment they may have already awakened to. They will miss their own enlightenment if they persist in imagining they are still dreaming, if they cling to a dogmatic preconception of what enlightenment is supposed to be, and never look at the reality that is before their eyes.

    And here is part of the magic.

    In Brahman consciousness, there is still some residue of mental projection, illusion, dreaminess. This is necessary so universal, infinite Self can do that impossible thing of seeing from here, through these eyes, my eyes, me. There has to be enough illusion of separateness to maintain that sense of a little “me” who is in this place, here.

    Only thus, through the dream within awakening that there is still a little “me,” can Brahman dance with Brahman: Brahman the offering, Brahman the oblation, Brahman the fire into which Brahman is poured. There are not four Brahmans performing this celebration. Only one. Brahman alone is real. Brahman alone is, but through the residue of dream that allows a sense of multiplicity to persist, Brahman interacts with Brahman.

    Still there will be a personality with quirks and foibles, issues and habits that carry along from before and continue calling to us for transformation.

    It can be a bit disorienting when this doesn’t match our preconception of what enlightenment is supposed to be. Many who encounter this assume it means they are not enlightened, and they try relentlessly to extinguish the residue of their own individuality.

    They take that residue of dreaminess to mean they are still asleep. But they are not asleep. After awakening to Brahman, it becomes a lucid dream.

    After awakening to Brahman, if we are able to release our preconceptions, we see the residue of dreaminess for what it is. We know it is a dream, and we simultaneously know it is nothing but Brahman dreaming within Brahman. In fact, it is a divine dream. It is the divine dream. Fully awake, even to our own dreaming, we see, we immerse ourselves in the exquisite dance.

    Without the residue of dream, we could not dance, Brahman could not dance within us, we could not dance within Brahman. Brahman could not pour Brahman into the fire that is Brahman. This is the exquisite dance of an awakened human life. It is the divine, exquisite dance of the universal infinite Self, the source and fulfillment of all that is.

    “Brahman is the act of offering. Brahman the oblation poured by Brahman into fire that is Brahman. To Brahman alone must he go who is fixed in Brahman through action.”

    “The will of man then is the will of God, the activity of man then is the desire of God, and man fulfils God’s purpose. … Then is the selfishness of man the selfish end of God; the individual mind of man the cosmic mind of God; the individual breath of man the cosmic breath of God … .” ~ Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

    Essay by Jerry Freeman

    • My first true memory of my friendship with Wayne was trying to talk him out of his idiotic idea ( during social studies as we had as usual finished the test early) that he wouldn’t live to see the age of 35. This is when we were 15 years old and for most of us invincible. Wayne and I were fast friends from that day forward. We shared many very fun life adventures! Usually with me talking him into the adventure and his company making it so much the better! I always cherished our relationship. I work in healthcare and he would tell me how admirable that was to really make an impact on others lives. I then shared with him that I had patients who had started reading his blog and how much they felt it benefitted them. Wayne gave us 21 years more than I had expected – and I THANK YOU AND LOVE YOU WAYNE WIRS❣️

  23. I believe that we are here to experience the world, share it with others in a loving way, and to be able to melt into the cosmos, returning here whenever required while we are physically alive.

    Yogananda mentioned that some mystics leave their bodies when the time arrives to do so. Those mystics must have been aware of some schedule to adhere to. Perhaps Wayne was aware of his schedule?

    I say we should stay vigilant until the clock runs out. Perhaps easier said than done. But I also choose to live in a community and family, and visit the cosmos awareness when time permits. I will have plenty of time to blend with eternity when my time here, determined by life, and not my little me, is up.

  24. @ Jerry,

    It depends on how you define “awakening”. If u r aware every of waking moment, would u consider urself “enlightened”? After all, these r just words, thoughts, concepts we use perfunctorily to communicate a word, though or concept.

    Defining is not knowing, expressing an idea or concept does not prove “enlightenment”. After all, the state of enlightenment is diametrically opposite of the mere thought or understanding of it.

    Wayne simply lived his life the way he wished to experience it… consciously. We are merely speculating, dissecting, analyzing, postulating his life thru his work. So who’s closer to the truth?

    I believe discussing anyone’s intentions or actions is ultimately pointless…. we can barely justify our own thoughts or actions at any given moment in time, lol. I simply appreciate Wayne for who he was, a genuine kindhearted spirit manifested in a man trying to share his experiences with us as transparently as humanly possible. That’s good enough for me, whether we believed he was enlightened or simply delusional is ultimately irrelevant.

    Altho being a rational mystic, i feel Wayne would have appreciated a good senseless debate!
    BTW, “rational mystic” is a kinda oxymoronic pun, but understandable if you have a sense of humor. 🙂

  25. @ Jerry
    Thanks for sharing your powerful insight. You said “When I saw his interview however long ago that was, I was concerned he was trying to annihilate the little “me” and I reached out to him” I was one of the people who helped convince him to do that interview on BATGAP, as he was initially reluctant. And I too often felt uneasy about his saying about “scars”. Physical scars are evidence of surviving traumas from the past. If he was implying psychic scars then he was referring to samskaras (perhaps the similar sounds of scars and …skaras is no coincidence?). In that light, the implied pride in samskaras seems a bit misplaced and maybe not so wise.
    You said you were concerned he was trying to annihilate the little “me”. Later in your explanation you said “In that intermediate stage, …, little “me” may seem clearly to be illusory, transient…. But, real as that seeing is, true and valid for that stage of awakening, it is only an intermediate stage.”
    Not wishing to foster a “senseless debate”, I seek clarity on your seeming implication that if Wayne had fully entered “Brahman consciousness” (beyond the intermediate stage) then perhaps he would have taken a different course in response to his tripwires. If I have understood you correctly, and knowing that there is nothing one can “do” to enter Brahman consciousness, and given that your explanation to him apparently was not effective in stimulating a transition beyond the intermediate stage, what recourse did Wayne really have in terms of dealing with his woundedness (if your hypothesis is correct) and the samskaras leading to his end?
    Certainly there are logical alternatives for dealing with money, transportation, and even severe pain – but it all comes down to motive. One can only do what one is moved to do. It seems to me there is a simple lesson in this for all of us who were interested in his unique path. Perhaps the lesson has to do with the true meaning of surrender, which takes many forms and can be confused with just giving up. What do you think? Maddie?

    • This is the paradox I wrote about at the end of the eulogy further up this thread. It’s one of the features of awakening/enlightenment that’s hardest to come to terms with. Shankara referred to it as “leshavidya,” the faint remains of ignorance that necessarily persists after awakening. Necessary because without that residue of illusion, there cannot be the experience of anything separate at all, no way to inhabit a human body and see the world through human eyes.

      I mentioned it briefly in my own BATGAP interview near the end. I said something like, “People think leshavidya is just the faintest little tissue of a sense of the relative world, barely enough to remember your name, but how would that work? Somehow, you’re not in Brahman yet, but you’ve gotten rid of almost every last trace of illusion? And then you cross into Brahman? No, you bring it in with you, whatever was there, and then after getting into Brahman, it burns away after that. Whatever you have with you when you cross that threshold into Brahman consciousness, that’s where you start, and then it thins down from there.

      Shankara described it as like seeing a double moon that one still sees for a time even after being cured of the eye disease that caused it. It’s in his commentary on the Brahma Sutras. He’s talking explicitly about Brahman there.

      But you use the term “fully entered” Brahman consciousness. It’s Brahman consciousness from the beginning, but there is a ripening, a maturation, as one acclimates to the new Reality. In time, the double moon resolves into a clear vision, but it can take a long time to mature. We wouldn’t say it isn’t Brahman consciousness, even though the leshavidya is still very strong. But we could say it is not yet well integrated, not yet mature Brahman consciousness.

  26. @Rob, in the essay, this is the relevant paragraph, if I understand what you are saying:

    “But if we have attached ourselves to the idea that ‘the mind is unreal, thoughts are only projections … ,’ that attitude may persist even after awakening to unity. We may shut ourselves out from fully living Brahman consciousness. Out of habit, we may stand frozen in an attitude of aloof dismissal, on the sideline, while the universe dances without us.”

    It is Brahman, but it is not fully lived, not the full potential of the Reality one has entered.

  27. @ Rob

    i can’t speak for Wayne or anyone else, from my perspective Wayne did what he did by impersonal choice. he’s not killing the “soul” of Wayne, just his body/ ego aka “little me”.

    After his spirit left the body, he simply discarded it like a snake shedding old skin… nothing personal/ no attachment, his former body no longer served his purpose in this lifetime.

    Wayne realized he was/ is/ will always be Brahman/ Christ/ God consciousness forever, so what’s the problem with reuniting “yourself” – as part of the ONE/ Unity Consciousness?

    Everyone acquires scars during their lifetime, it’s simply part of life. Rob, ur getting too cerebral with “stages of consciousness”, again it all depends on one’s perspective. U are implying that if Wayne had attained higher consciousness, perhaps his choice may have been different and he would find another solution. Yes, no, maybe. Again it boils down to impersonal preference and attachment to life. If Wayne truly felt he needed to stick around for us or someone special in his life, i’m sure he would have found a way. Since he’s a loner/ wanderer, there’s really nothing to keep him here on Earth if he felt his mission accomplished, then why stick around? Rationally i would have to agree, why drag it out, waste time, energy and resources. However on the emotional level, of course we all miss him and wish he was still around, but that’s sentimentality. Clearly this trait was not high on Wayne’s list, so he ended it. Whether that was the right or wrong decision, it’s not up to us to say. I would simply respect Wayne’s decision and leave it at that.

    He did hint at wanting to reincarnate and come back… which i found interesting. Most mystics who attained claim they will not come back as human b/c the samsara of life and death has been broken, there’s no more advancement.

    I suppose Wayne felt he would be more effective or needed in a future date and is not done with the human experience. Of course only Wayne’s spirit can choose that path again, but consciously this time around. Whether he surrendered or gave up, again only Wayne can know for sure. According to Wayne’s blog epitaph, he surrendered lovingly to the great beyond, rejoice in his memories. <3

  28. Thank you dear Wayne,
    that as a divine Extension of Source you were willing to experience being a human,
    which takes infinitely great courageous pure altruistic Charity,
    all to the benefit of our souls.

  29. I first came here following Wayne’s spectacular photo of the 2012 eclipse. And now, just after his lovely photo of the 2017 eclipse, he is gone. His photos are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I also enjoyed his writing, although I think he found me mostly annoying. I eagerly followed his van dwelling posts, because I think I will be forced into the van life soon myself, and he made it seem lovely.

    I’m not awakened or enlightened. I’m just sad. Really sad. I hope he found the reunion with Her to be all that he hoped it would be and more. My deep condolences to his family and friends.

  30. Your note here is astonishly perceptive and simply beautiful. It made me cry. I didn’t even know this man, never heard of him until tonight.
    Thank you.

  31. I am so shocked, I found this out only today.I get notifications whenever he posts some new writing.I was once in a very bad mood, I had a tough day where I almost contemplated suicide and he posted something and I called him a boring non dualist. It was very rude and I apologized that same day and he was magnanimous about it.After that I always commented on his new posts. For many days I did not get any notifications so I visited his blog and found this! I wish he hadn’t done this, he had so much to give humanity.I have seen his interview with Rick Archer and he was magnificent and helped me. I am kicking myself for calling him boring non dualist that day , I hate myself for it and perhaps will till this body falls. I wanted to ask him if his van passed by where I lived so that I could meet him at least once, Wayne are you hearing? Will you meet me in your next birth? I want to meet you Wayne so That I personally apologize to you though you forgave me. Please Wayne, there is some connection.

  32. Thank you Wayne. I wish I had met you in this life. But I know that we are all connected in and through HER. We are ONE. Be blessed in your travels as a spark of light and consciousness. Thank you for your legacy of books, blogs, and vlogs. Peace and Love to you, Brother.

  33. I’m so heartbroken! I looked up to you so much, man!

    During my journey of recovery from suicidal thoughts, I started meditating and found that my depression and anxiety started diminishing. I decided to follow “the path” in my own ways, and I came across your blog and work along the way. I feel so sad. I feel so lost. I looked up to you b.c I wanted to avoid doing what you have done.
    I will never hold it against you, but know that I’m deeply hurt. Tonight I felt so suicidal, so I decided to look up inspirational words from you, after not having been on your blog in a few months, and I couldn’t believe it when I read the date of your birthday and death on the main page.

    I wish you were still here.

  34. Thank you, Wayne, for your life and friendship. You followed the artist way of standing naked before the world, bravely sharing the joys and pains, the mysteries and insights, and the loneliness and communion of your mystic wandering. Each of us who have commented here traveled with you and, though you’re lost to sight, we still do. … What an adventure life is in all its facets, including “death”!

  35. Wow, can’t quite believe Wayne is gone. I had followed his blog keenly over the years but hadnt checked in much this year until just now. The timing of seeing this is strange for me since reading his last thoughts opened up questions I had had myself on the subject (of death, not suicide), and I feel like this has really helped me come to terms with some things myself about life and death.

    I can understand Waynes way of coming to this decision. I had an episode of severe pain that lasted several years, and so I sympathise with how earth shattering that can be, and how physical life can basically become a torture chamber. (However I personally don’t agree with his view on suicide as a means of ending life.)

    Beyond the shock I find myself in a complete state of peace and that as his final lesson Wayne left this message and the timing of me finding it has turned it into a gift (sort of speak). Thank you Wayne, for this and for sharing your beautiful journey with us for as long as you did.

    My heartfelt condolences go out to his family and friends. I pray you will find peace in your hearts with your loss.

  36. Wayne, or better said The One without a Second,
    Thanks for Your Appearence in the form of Wayne, as a fine and good man and patriot, as well as a Spiritual Realized Person, no doubt about this!
    I thought that suicide was impossible for Enlightened Persons, but when I found out that also Nathan Gill from England, a renouvned nondualist tok his life because of pain in his body, and now you Wayne, it makes sense and give a good reason for your actions, which in fact I strongly believe that where not “yours” but the Real Author was the One and Only who got tired to play the role of Wayne, and just decided to Wake Up to His Real Nature!
    This is my understanding about Life and Death that cured me from a fear of Death from an early age of 5 years old, and the nonduality philospohy is so good in explaining it, so that it takes your fear away, make it reseamble a awakening in the morning from a night sleep, when You dreamt to be Wayne Wirs.
    We the fellow dreamers from the God’s Dream, had the chance to come in contact with one of His appearances, and as appearences we miss our buddy, Wayne; But we must not forget what The One through Wayne teaches us, that We Are One and Only Love and Everything is a manifestation of Love, and Wayne was such a nobile soul, and a talented artist and a true spiritual Director, and we, as appearences we give him credit and miss his Presence.
    But, If we want to Live in the Spirit of what Wayne teaches, than we must be greatful for his moments on this Earth when he gave us Wisdom and Beauty and Truth.
    All of you who are missing Wayne, be Bold and Live into his Spiritual Teachings and may the One Enlighten your Path to Truth and Peace!
    I could writte much more to Remaind all of who are missing Wayne to Live his Teachings and Honor his Legacy of Bravery and Light.
    Returning to the past, once I asked Wayne why he is not settling down somewhere where people can come and meet him, but he joked that he might be mental sick, and can’t settle in a place. I was harsly criticized by some readers of his blog by not accepting his way of life, but today I understand that he might had a complex PTSD after his service, and this might have been cured, if he wanted to. I could have helped him, but we were not too well aquinted and also far away from each other, on different continents….
    In the end, I stroongly belive that this was the Way it was Destined by the One who is playing all the rolles of all of us, including that of Wayne.
    Wayne discovered that He was God and he was Brave enought to writte a book with the same title (as far as it could) and we must not forget this and be willing to Live his Realizations.
    For His Memory, I wish that all of us who felt some value in his writtings and in real life, we must Remeber Him as an Realized Person, Lastly Free to be Master on his Destiny, as He Was in Reality, As God Himself!
    Only Love and Appreciation!
    Sat Nam!

  37. Hello Wayne,

    I came across Wayne’s YouTube just few days ago, and in the last two days I watched three or four short videos by Wayne on Mystical Enlightenment, etc. I can see what he tried to say; though I will never have any chance any more to talk with him about his “deep” experience which took him to this decision to talk about those topics. But Wayne did make clear some main points on the way to discover and discard the self. I can understand his intention, as my experience also opened into another world, or dimension, whatever it could be named. It doesn’t matter.

    Wayne seems right to say about the loss of patience toward life and its sufferings, the loss of attachment to anything in this world. That mindset is not a result of depression at all. It is rather a kind of reaction of suffering against a steady, firm, clear mind that sees through all deception and meaningless vain people make up for themselves.

    R.I.P. = Re-Union In Peace, Wayne.

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