The Mystic: Parts I & II

The Fall Expected

The Fall Expected


March 11, 2017 1:01 PM

Here are the first two parts of The Mystic (first draft). As I mentioned a few days ago, this is my first attempt at a novel—fiction—so I’m curious about your thoughts.

Click here for the PDF.

Please try to forget everything you know about me as you read this. Try to see it through the eyes of a spiritual seeker who’s never heard of me or my work. Someone who’s read (and enjoyed) The Prophet, or Jonathan Livingston Seagull, or The Alchemist.

Then I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know what you think.

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14 thoughts on “The Mystic: Parts I & II

  1. I’m intrigued, when the present moment is suspended enough to catch myself trying to advance to the next page at the end. The beginning felt like a popular movie, G________ D__, the middle like a more popular movie by three brothers, ___ ______, and the end like an awesome and best favorite book by Bach (sorry, not JLS). These are good things with my simple tastes….yes, i would read more!

    • Thanks kevin. Feedback is so important right now. I have no clue if I suck at fiction writing or not.

      Feel free to name the movies/books you were referring to. While I’m trying to emulate a Hemingway-esque style, the storyline is standard, hero’s journey stuff (very popular today), so I expect a lot of comparisons to popular works.

  2. The references I made were Groundhog Day in the beginning of the story, The Matrix in the middle and then finished off with Illusions. These are my impressions or what bubbled to the surface while reading. I don’t think you suck at writing, I actually enjoy reading your blog, and recent book…you’ve had lots of practice writing and rewriting. I believe authenticity in the underlining message will illuminate the words on the page and story between the covers. Your gift is reducing the complex into small bites. Looking forward to more “story”.

  3. Hi Wayne,
    loved your writing. It reminded me the mystical wanderer Kwai Chang Caine (David Carradine) in Kung fu doing the right thing, at the right place at the right moment. I hope you will mix these profound teachings with some action and suspense. I’m a book reader and i like when there is strugglings, confrontations with events and people, big adventures mixed with these mystical aspects leading me to a quest… a quest to myself. Anyway, i’m eager to read next pages

    • Thanks for the suggestions Richard. While I’ve mapped out the topics to be taught/learned/used between the Mystic and the Apprentice, I’ve not gotten into the finer points of the plot, so I appreciate the feedback.

  4. Hi Wayne,

    The writing is good. However I don’t believe in reincarnation, there are so many things wrong with this concept, I leave the reasoning for another time (maybe under the OBE post). Looks like the story is based on reincarnation , not my cup of tea.

    You might be able to include some useful tips and points, but with I can’t see me reading the book anymore. Sorry about this, other who believe may enjoy.

    • Thanks for your feedback Tayeb. You make a good point, the reincarnation angle my dissuade potential readers right off the bat, but still, one of the main points (I believe) of the book will be the conflict between Beliefs/Theories and Evidence.

      On the evidence note, have you read my free book The Free Soul? All the evidence for a soul that reincarnates is there from my book, Mystical Oneness and the Nine Aspects of Being.

  5. Yes I have read The Free Soul and unfortunately didn’t provide me with solid evidence. I like to write my thoughts and counter arguments on the pdf and send it to you, time permitting.

    The conflict point between Beliefs, theories and Evidence is excellent idea. I do enjoy this type of discussion, Rumi (I believe the Alchemist is based on one of Rumi’s poems) has few interesting poems on this type of topic but then lacks evidence and only tries to make a point about something at the end.

    The Evidence is going to be difficult, as all people who believe in something, to them there is sufficient evidence in their belief that’s why they believe it. This applies to all religious beliefs etc.

    How can evidence be presented?, I think if we let go of all beliefs and start looking at life with fresh eye (as Krishnamurti puts it) then we can see things clearly. The first point needs to be to let go of beliefs, and then slowly introduce basic issues with evidence every body can see in themselves and move on from there.

    Sorry the post is becoming too long.

  6. Hi Wayne,
    I love the beginning of your story, and I would totally continue to read… my one concern is about your use of repetition. I realize it is a device and can be very effective, but I feel one needs to be careful using this, or else it ends up feeling pedantic. I feel you are at the edge of it here, yet I see the trickiness, because you need us to understand it is the same woman in both situations. Just a thought…
    Thank you for all that you share..

  7. Hi Wayne…
    A good start and first draft here from what I’ve read, and I very much concur with your most recent thought that learning the craft of fiction writing is not easy…like learning any craft, I suppose, with the attendent apprenticeship process. At any rate, I thought of you in relation to the links below, in particular Butler’s transparency in intimately sharing his process of creating a short story. For what it’s worth, and all the best, CML

    Inside Creative Writing: Episode 1
    ~ Watch Pulitzer Prize-winning fiction writer Rober Butler create a short story in real time over 16 weeks, from first inspiration through all the bad sentences and wrong turns to final, polished story, commenting on his process as he works. Published on Oct 2, 2012

    ~ YouTube videos of writers talking about the craft of fiction:

    ~ Elements of Style by Robert Scholes An old book (and a short one), but a classic.

  8. Hi Wayne-

    I’m with Annie. I REALLY liked the beginning of the book, especially when the girl realized she had come back to the same place and the same guru. If it had branched out into something else along those lines it would have kept my interest. The writing is good but you kind of lost me after a while. Good luck with the writing and I hope you make a million.

    I just watched your Cosmic Consciousness video and liked it also. Just an FYI, if you get one of those microphone covers, that are made out of foam I believe, you won’t get the wind noise in your videos. Thanks.

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