PALM BAY, FL–I’ve started to write. I’m not writing about what I thought I would. It doesn’t make sense to spend the time on this project when there seem to be more important things to write about, but ultimately, this is where She’s leading me.
What’s left of my ego barrier is telling me not to waste my time on it, not to focus on the mystical side of enlightenment, let alone on the benefits. The ego barrier is afraid I’ll get a reputation as a nut case.
I’m ignoring him (the ego barrier). He seems to be nothing but trouble these days.
From my perspective, “I” simply don’t matter any more. To my ego barrier, I’m the center of my world, but the barrier is just a pile of conditioning, something that I see (and sometimes lose myself in), but it’s no longer “me.”
The conflict I’m having with this project though–between conditioning and faith–is a perfect example of surrendering to Her: of relinquishing control, of ignoring the consequences, of releasing and riding with the Flow.
Ultimately this project is a low-risk one. If you want to play with surrender, I’d encourage you to try a similar low-risk endeavor–one where your mind says “Left” and your heart says “Right.” You may fail, you may end up with egg on your face… but, if you are ready, you may find yourself face-to-face with the Divine.
I believe I’ll be releasing this work online, a piece at a time. This isn’t the way a sane person would write–they’d do a rough draft, then revise it a few times, then release it–but then that doesn’t seem to be what She has in mind.