The Void

The Void

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Every time I see the word, nihilism, I think of the movie, The Big Lebowski, and every time I think of The Big Lebowski I think of what a perfect movie it is for any serious student of any nondual teaching because The Big Lebowski is anything but serious.

The Big Lebowski is about the Dude, who just wants to abide (and bowl). The Dude is a simple man who keeps getting draw into the entirely mentally-based lives of everyone else around him: Walter, the war veteran, where everything is about Vietnam; Donny, the clueless guy, who is so trapped in his mind that he has to constantly ask what’s going on around him; the feminist who wants a baby; the gold digger who wants a sugar daddy; the broke sugar daddy trying to maintain a facade of wealth; and of course the nihilists.

“We believe in nothing, Lebowski!”

Every serious spiritual student must face the Void… the Emptiness, the Meaninglessness, the Hell of Eternal Darkness… the Nothing.

Every serious spiritual seeker—because as I’ve said before, it’s all about identity—must face their existential angst.

“We believe in nothing, Lebowski!”

The Dude, chatting up the gold digger, comments on a guy, passed out and floating on an inner tube in the pool (ironically in bright sunlight… a pool of Light) and the gold digger says, “Uli doesn’t care about anything. He’s a Nihilist.,” to which the Dude replies:

“Ah, that must be exhausting.”

In the movie, the nihilists are always excessively dramatic. They are so forcefully adamant. The nihilists, who believe in nothing, take their nothing very seriously.

How can Nothing be so exhausting?

The spiritual seeker when confronting Emptiness—because their very identity is collapsing and at risk—take Nothing very seriously.

How can the Void be so frightening? How can Emptiness be so full of foreboding. How can nothing be full of such… something, such dark energy?

Because when the spiritual seeker honestly looks deeply into the Void, they become a Nihilist, and just like every other character in the movie—everyone except the Dude of course—nihilists believe in a mental concept. Nihilist believe in Nothing, and Nothing (Emptiness, the Void) is a mental concept and mental concepts are exhausting.

It is called the Gateless Gate for a reason. You are stumbling around in the dark, but you’ll never find a wall that you can run your hand along to an opening. Nope, you’ll find nothing. Nor will you come across some giant iron door, that when opened reveals a glorious Light. Nope, not that either.

It’s called the Gateless Gate because there is no gate, there is no wall. It’s called the Gateless Gate because the Endless Darkness that you are stumbling around in, the Nothing that appears so real, is just another mental concept.

“We believe in nothing, Lebowski!”

“Ah, that must be exhausting.”

The Light doesn’t shine out of the Darkness—there is no Gate/Darkness. It is the exact opposite: the Darkness comes out of the Light of Awareness.

The “Nothing” is an object in the Light of Awareness. The “Nothing” is a concept of the mind.

The Tao is the source of the ten thousand things…

The Tao is the source of the Nothing/Emptiness/Void.

The Tao is the Light.

Focusing On a Subject

Holding It Together

Holding It Together

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—In photography, before you even raise the camera to your eye, it’s important to recognize what will be the subject of the photo. What will you focus on—and just as importantly—what will you leave out of the shot.

In creating a new project, it is important to know what functionality to include and what to do without. What is the subject that you should focus on to bring your project to life?

In spirituality, there are a million people trying to sell you (get you to focus on) a million products and services (subjects), so it is crucial to weed these distractions out if you ever wish to achieve inner harmony.

The only subject that you need to focus on in order to find inner peace is this: Your identity.

Who or what exactly are you?

Note: If you have an answer to this question then I’m afraid you need to keep looking.

The Healing Thing

The Bridge

The Bridge

IDAHO FALLS, ID—In reference to the previous post, reader Rimas asked how I do the healing thing I do. I’m a little hesitant to describe it only because it’s a bit too “woo woo” for my tastes, but in the interest of transparency

Though my technique varies according to the state I find myself in—Mystical Oneness (typical) or No Self (rare)—it always involves the dissolution of the me-thing.

The healing thing I did with my mother a few days ago was similar to what I had done spontaneously while she was in surgery a few years backI/She/We merged/blended with her life force and added to it. This is distinctly different than the No Self version of extracting the disease/damage and taking it into my No Self body that I did in this account.

Basically, the merging method entails slipping into the Emptiness state (seeing and dropping all self contraction/boundaries), focusing on the Light/Life Force within this me-thing, becoming that Light (consciously identifying with it so I can control it), and—in an almost astral projection kind of way—“flying” to and merging with the Light/Life Force within my mother. Once merged, I/She/We expand, brighten and “burn out” anything that doesn’t belong there.

The Identity Block

A theory I have for why this doesn’t work on everyone: My father has fused vertebrae and only one fully functional lung (half of his other lung was surgically removed due to cancer). When I have tried the merging technique with him, I only see a slight increase in his energy level and that only lasts for about a day. But here is a key difference between my mother and father: my father identifies with his bad back and breathlessness—these qualities have become a part of who he believes himself to beand as I’ve posited beforeTaoGodHer won’t mess with a person’s ego (identity).


Leaves in Light

Leaves in Light

WALLA WALLA, WA—In an email, Rob asked what it’s like to fall in love with TaoGodHer:

In one of your posts you say, “walking, just walking—just a movement, a current, a tide—all happening within God Herself and I fell in love with Her all over again.” What is the feeling of falling in love with Her vs your past experience of falling in love with a regular woman as a separate self?  It seems like understanding this would be an important key for me.

Rob was probably refering to this post if you’d like some background.

In the third grade, I looked over at the new student, Darleen Millee, and caught her looking at me. She quickly looked down in embarrassment, turned red, and I fell in love. If she wouldn’t have moved back to Norway that summer, I’m sure my life would have turned out very differently.

We all know the feeling of love at first sight: Cupid’s arrow strikes and we are instantly enamoured. At that instant, our love for our beloved is pure and untainted. At that instant, it is Ideal Love.

Then the ego (me-me-me) comes into play either on your part or your beloved’s (usually both), and things go downhill from there.

I use the love Darleen and I had for each other as an example of this Ideal Love because, as third graders, our egos hadn’t “hardened” enough to get in the way of the purity. The me-thing wasn’t as solid as it would later become. There wasn’t the sense of lust yet, nor a strong personal desire other than to be near her. I do remember a pang of jealousy when I overheard her say to her girlfriends, “Who’s in love with Bobby Sherman?” and raised her hand (that bastard), but that was the extent of the me-thing getting in the way.

Rob was asking about the love I feel for TaoGodHer. Since She has no ego, there is nothing to get in the way of Her Love. But the only way we can feel this Love—to allow this Love to naturally come through—is for us to weaken the ego.

The less there is of me, the more I feel Her Love… the more this unified (separate but one) Love comes alive. The more we become the Love.

When I walk in God—when I swim in the Paradox—She and I become joined, both separate and one. Two lovers dancing, so enthralled with each other that the ballroom vanishes and the world shrinks to just the two of us. It’s strong and it’s pure and I want nothing more than for it to go on and on forever.

And then it’s gone and I smile and feel blessed to have experienced something so divinely pure, so—paradoxically—ever present but extremely rare.

Pushing The Boundaries

A Sweet Camp

A Sweet Camp

MT BAKER NF, WA—Because her ego is in its dying throes, it was causing Michelle to feel a powerful sense of guilt for all sorts of stuff. The ego is sneaky that way—willing to do anything to avoid its demise.

Below is an excerpt from our recent dialog.

A couple things to note:

  • How Michelle is able to see both her guilt and her thoughts as “other” and how insubstantial they are: The guilt can be watched as it swims in and out…
  • The duplex personality has started to take hold: The Michelle part feels guilty, the light just doesn’t.
  • The self boundaries collapsing: First observation is that it is not limited to the space inside my body. I feel that it’s outside of my body as well.

Michelle, Aug 20, 2014

… However–the light of awareness is compassionate to my mind’s burden, to the world’s burdens…but it doesn’t refuse to shine because of “guilt” and “responsibility.” It’s steady. The Michelle part feels guilty, the light just doesn’t. The guilt can be watched as it swims in and out, and I don’t believe it quite so much now.

Wayne, Aug 20, 2014

What if you were a frog? Tell me, as a frog, about the Guilt, and about the Light of Awareness.

Michelle, Aug 20, 2014

After a little over an hour frog meditating, I don’t think that I CAN do that. I can’t.

I did see past myself, and into the vastness to the point where it scared me again, though. And mind/self feels less real now, thank goodness.

I suppose my mind wants to understand things that can’t be understood. Like, it wants REASONS for things and I don’t know that those really exist, at least in a way my mind and thoughts can grasp. I simply don’t know. To the frog, it just is. Does that make any sense?

Wayne, Aug 20, 2014

What are the PROPERTIES of that which PERCEIVES (

Michelle, Aug 20, 2014

Not sure if I’m hitting the nail on the head here, but this feels worth recording. Was turning that over in contemplation when going to sleep just now and just kind of saw that I actually see everything. It was kind of a flash. There is something (that) can perceive EVERYTHING that goes on within me, all the little movements and parts and thoughts. Everything.

Michelle, Aug 21, 2014

On the properties of that which perceives:

First observation is that it is not limited to the space inside my body. I feel that it’s outside of my body as well.

Wayne, Aug 21, 2014

“Not limited…” Good. Not LIMITED. That which perceives is BOTH inside and outside the body. Boundaries are only of the mind.

Get a feel for that which perceives. Now look once more at the Void. Is it really a void? Is it really empty? Or is it something else?

Wayne, Aug 20, 2014

And as you look at this “Void,” look at “yourself.” See the contraction, the shell, the portal as just a mental boundary (you know this, you feel this).

Now pull away the shell/portal/boundary.

And the Frog Master Sat

My Frog Master

My Frog Master

PORTLAND, OR—Yesterday, the 12th of August, was the five year anniversary of my relationship with the Frog Master. So I thought it appropriate that I spend some time in the spot where I first met him and revisit his message:

Separation from the One arises from thoughts.

Yesterday, on a little rock in a little brook, as if waiting for my return, the Frog Master sat.

I saw him, smiled and took a seat on a rock—the very same rock that started it all. The view was the same, overlooking a tiny snow-fed stream and a small open field and the peak of Mt. Hood.

The brook murmured gently, I took a photo, and put the camera aside…

And the Frog Master sat.

I got comfortable and expanded. As thoughts would come up, I’d shine the Light of Awareness on them and watch as they’d evaporate and their power over me would vanish…

And—still as a stone—the Frog Master sat.

Adyashanti once told me that his teacher once told him that it takes between 5 and 15 years after enlightenment for the mind to settle and quiet down.

My mind is less noisy than it was five years ago, but still more noisy than I’d like—but when it is still, or when I’m aware and can push away or dissolve the thoughts, a vastness and peace fills me.

As I sat there, just as the vastness happened, I glanced down spontaneously…

And the Frog Master sat.

The quiet mind is the bliss state that so many spiritual seekers seek, the radiant glow of immersion in the Present Moment. No self. No self-centeredness. No separation. And yet, unlike the Frog Master, the awakened are aware of it all.

I looked down for confirmation…

And the Frog Master sat.

To transcend the mind—not to beat it into silence or to ignore its usefulness. To drop expectations, to stop measuring one’s development against the mythologies, to relax and let go. To surrender completely to Her will.

And I sat and I’d flow between the Mind and the Light and the Source—different states of contraction, different levels of immersion in TaoGodHer.

And as I’d flow between these states…

My Frog Master sat.


Lookin' Out My Back Door.

Lookin’ Out My Back Door (doo doo doo).

MT HOOD, OR—Many people assume that when your personal self drops, you stop having thoughts—ie: the mythical state of pure bliss.

These are two separate things.

When you stopped believing in the tooth fairy, your thoughts did not cease.

Same thing with the personal self.

When you stop believing in the personal self, your thoughts will not cease.

As many of you know, I still sometimes struggle with a noisy mind (it’s far less noisy than it was, but still more noisy than I’d like), but I no longer believe in the personal self/ego.

Just like the tooth fairy, once I realized the personal self was just a story—a collection of thoughts that are other than me—it stopped feeling real. It lost its felt sense of solidity.

In other words, to me, the personal self—the ego—is just like the tooth fairy. Just another mental image. Just a thought.

The Divine within can still function in harmony with thoughts, but She can’t function with a “solid” ego/personal self.

PS: I have thoughts on quieting thoughts (ironically) but we’ll address those later.

The Imbued

The Imbued

The Imbued

MT HOOD, OR—I’m still on Mt. Hood, busting my hump on this project, but the end is near and I’ll soon be on the road again.

Spending all this time coding—being the Code—provided me with an insight this morning:

You imbue what you focus on.

When you focus on a good story, you enter the story. You imbue it, join it, and become one with it.

When you focus on a good movie, the same thing happens. There’s a joining with it—a merging—and the boundaries between you and the movie disappear.

Even though the me-me-me self is a completely imaginary thing, here’s where practically everyone goes wrong: They focus on the imaginary self and thus imbue it with life.

How To Dramatically Increase Your Luck

The Subtle Light of Life

The Subtle Light of Life

CAMP 3 (or 4), MT HOOD, OR—I came down off my mountain to hang out with Randy the Mobile Kodger for the afternoon. When I told him I’d been thinking of using the term luck instead of synchronicity he spontaneously slid into his Southern Baptist Preacher persona (which anyone who has been around Randy for more than five minutes is quite familiar with), and sang its praises.

Synchronicity is just another word for Luck. Good luck. Outstanding luck. Luck bordering on the magical.

From a consistent standpoint, I am the luckiest person I have ever met, and I know at least a dozen people who would agree with me.

I may not have won the lottery (yet), but I have consistently good luck. Outstanding luck. Magical luck.

Why? Because the less there is of the Wayne-thing, the more there is of the Divine-thing, and the Divine-thing has all sorts of resources at Her disposal.

So how do you dramatically increase your luck? How do you “get lucky” on a consistent basis?

  1. Live as if you never die. Research the evidence of the Soul and recognize there is zero evidence to the contrary. Then start living as if you live forever. Your ego (the State-Your-Name-thing) will take a serious hit—and that is a very good thing when it comes to getting lucky.
  2. Open to Radiance. Feel the natural Love you have for yourself, then open and allow that Love to flow outward onto others (people, plants, animals, rocks). Surrender to this Love and whatever naturally arises. Your ego will take another serious hit.
  3. Practice Emptiness. Dig out and drop everything your mind says is true about the personal self. The personal self (ego) is an illusion and it’s all in your head.

Do these practices one at a time or concurrently, but if you do them one at a time, then I strongly suggest you do them in the order above. Pretty soon, there will be far less of “you” in your life and a hell of a lot more of the Divine.

And the less there is of you, the more lucky you’ll get.

The Flood

The Skies Clear

The Skies Clear

MT HOOD, OR—I closed the laptop, closed the van, and drove up to Government Camp for a good meal and a well deserved beer. 100 billable hours. Three times what I normally put in in a billing cycle.

But those hours flowed. I was in the zone the whole time. I wrote the complete framework for an entire forum—from scratch—in two weeks. And though I’m tired, it was practically effortless because I surrendered and let Her do it. I let Her write the code.

And it flowed.

When the personal self falls away, it is very easy to get lost. What is important to you when there is no longer a “you”?

Michelle, as I’m sure others who read this blog are, is going through a sort of “value storm.” Much of what used to be important to her is no longer. Everything is in turbulence. There’s nothing to hold onto. No solid ground. Everything is aswirl and it’s scary.

It’s sort of like Noah’s Flood. Things are changing for the better, but right now it’s nothing but rain and wind and lightning and a whole lot of crashing waves.

When I went through it, I had no one to help me, no teacher to guide me. When my personal self fell away, I was lost and I drifted. It’s all right here on this blog.

But things are different for you Michelle. You’re not alone—I’ve got your back.

It gets easier. Though you will never find solid ground to stand on ever again, you are beginning to realize something very few ever do—not just with your mind, but with your heart: You are the Ground itself… and the Sea and the Light and the All.

And yet you are still you.

You can feel this. Though you can’t explain it, you know it.

You know what you have to do. You’ve done it time and time again. You’ve learned it from practice and practical application. You’ve done it before and you can do it again:

When you relax and surrender and allow—when you let Her drive—everything flows and everything works out exactly as it should.

And though you may not know where you’re heading or how you are going to get there, you know it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Listen to your heart.

Listen to Her whispers.

And everything will be alright.