An Example of Cosmic Consciousness

The Light on the Water

The Light on the Water

BIRCH CREEK CAMPGROUND, ID— As the you-thing weakens, Cosmic Consciousness becomes stronger and starts to guide your actions while at the same time feeding you information. It is subtle, not necessarily like a separate entity, but more like an intimate part of you that you previously weren’t aware of. I think my ongoing examples speak for themselves, but it is nice to see this happening in Michelle

Michelle. Yesterday 9:47 PM:

(wgw edit: Michelle explains how a Skype call, which she normally wouldn’t have taken (but she listened to Her whispers so she did) which led to an unexpected counseling session. I’m editing to protect the privacy of the other parties.)

[Redacted]

It showed me a few things.

  1. The power of synchronicity to bring me to the right place at the right time.
  2. The reality that even an accomplished person who has met a lot of their own unique dreams can be so dissatisfied. The ego often wants more, I suppose. Seeing the evidence is helpful.
  3. The way she shone through me and gave me things to say at the right time. Come to think of it, I wasn’t trying to control the situation and this allowed those to come through.

Something I’m able to do a LITTLE better since last week is surrendering to let her take the reigns more. My mind still tries to get all worked up over the future and scenarios and whatnot… But I can find myself saying, screw it. I feel that this is something I need to learn before I can substantially progress. She kind of told me that, actually.

Michelle. Yesterday 9:50 PM:

I’m still intermittently seeing myself when I have the stillness available. Sliding in and out when I can. There is space here.

Michelle. Yesterday 9:54 PM:

Cool flash I had after I wrote that… I was walking around and felt like I was her, moving through this self. Neat!

Wayne. 11:34 AM:

All wonderful experiences. All excellent examples of your progress. Look how far you’ve come since we first started talking! (One of the reasons I want new students to blog is so they can look back and see their progress).

“I was walking around and felt like I was her, moving through this self.”

I often experience this, though I don’t know WHAT I am during those “walks.” As I pull away all contraction (portal), there is SOMETHING looking out of this body, SOMETHING experiencing all this, but it isn’t the me-thing, and I wouldn’t call it Her either, but some sort of blending of the two. It’s beautiful. I get there by pulling away the contraction, the mental separation, the me-thing, but let me know if you’ve found another way. 🙂

Enthralled

Leaves in Light

Leaves in Light

WALLA WALLA, WA—In an email, Rob asked what it’s like to fall in love with TaoGodHer:

In one of your posts you say, “walking, just walking—just a movement, a current, a tide—all happening within God Herself and I fell in love with Her all over again.” What is the feeling of falling in love with Her vs your past experience of falling in love with a regular woman as a separate self?  It seems like understanding this would be an important key for me.

Rob was probably refering to this post if you’d like some background.

In the third grade, I looked over at the new student, Darleen Millee, and caught her looking at me. She quickly looked down in embarrassment, turned red, and I fell in love. If she wouldn’t have moved back to Norway that summer, I’m sure my life would have turned out very differently.

We all know the feeling of love at first sight: Cupid’s arrow strikes and we are instantly enamoured. At that instant, our love for our beloved is pure and untainted. At that instant, it is Ideal Love.

Then the ego (me-me-me) comes into play either on your part or your beloved’s (usually both), and things go downhill from there.

I use the love Darleen and I had for each other as an example of this Ideal Love because, as third graders, our egos hadn’t “hardened” enough to get in the way of the purity. The me-thing wasn’t as solid as it would later become. There wasn’t the sense of lust yet, nor a strong personal desire other than to be near her. I do remember a pang of jealousy when I overheard her say to her girlfriends, “Who’s in love with Bobby Sherman?” and raised her hand (that bastard), but that was the extent of the me-thing getting in the way.

Rob was asking about the love I feel for TaoGodHer. Since She has no ego, there is nothing to get in the way of Her Love. But the only way we can feel this Love—to allow this Love to naturally come through—is for us to weaken the ego.

The less there is of me, the more I feel Her Love… the more this unified (separate but one) Love comes alive. The more we become the Love.

When I walk in God—when I swim in the Paradox—She and I become joined, both separate and one. Two lovers dancing, so enthralled with each other that the ballroom vanishes and the world shrinks to just the two of us. It’s strong and it’s pure and I want nothing more than for it to go on and on forever.

And then it’s gone and I smile and feel blessed to have experienced something so divinely pure, so—paradoxically—ever present but extremely rare.

When She Drives

Feeding My Stairs Fixation

Feeding My Stairs Fixation

SNOQUALMIE NF, WA—The first time TaoGodHer takes the reins in your life, it can be a bit disconcerting. After awhile though, you get used to it, trust it, and even come to expect it. Of note are Michelle’s comments marked in bold/emphasis:

Michelle. Yesterday 6:05 PM

  1. This is really frustrating. I’m keeping at it but for the record it’s just frustrating. I’m starting to not like the loss of control I’m starting to feel. And I know you will probably tell me to see who is feeling frustrated. But I’m working on it. I see it all in flashes. The other perception question I am working on too… Whether it’s the same or different from all the others.
  2. This doesn’t have much to do with it, but I want to record it. While I was on the porch just now trying to see what this was and got some clarity on how much it sees and how it sees all of me, I got this flash (once the clarity came in more full force) to where I needed to call someone to sign up for a healing course I had been waffling over because I hadn’t quite felt “moved” in the right way yet… In a flash something came through me and walked me over to my phone and called, and it was definitely NOT me doing it. It kind of freaked me out because it was just not my decision to take this action, not me doing it. I was quite taken aback. Is this how spontaneous action can happen with her acting through our bodies/minds?

Michelle.Yesterday 9:27 PM

Before was unsettling because the sensation of having her move through me involuntarily is not something I’m used to at all. I read over some old synchronicity blog posts of yours for some clarity.

I Love You

Potential

Potential

OAK HARBOR, WA—I didn’t really need supplies, but She sent me shopping anyway. As I navigated my cart up a row, between an elderly mother(?) and her daughter(?), the daughter—hunched over—worriedly says into her phone, “I love you,” and out of my mouth pops, “Why, I love you too,” and mom tilts her head and smiles both sadly and gratefully and I place my hand on the daughter’s shoulder as I pass by and I hear behind me, “Thank-you. Oh god thank-you,” and I walk on.

I can’t take credit for these random acts of kindness (here and here and here and here, and …), She just drives me to places and says or does things before I even have a chance to react. It’s much like those nights in the casino (here and here)—it sounds kind of spooky, but it is really beautiful and I’m honored and grateful to be a part of it.

The less there is of you, the more there is of Her.

And the Frog Master Sat

My Frog Master

My Frog Master

PORTLAND, OR—Yesterday, the 12th of August, was the five year anniversary of my relationship with the Frog Master. So I thought it appropriate that I spend some time in the spot where I first met him and revisit his message:

Separation from the One arises from thoughts.

Yesterday, on a little rock in a little brook, as if waiting for my return, the Frog Master sat.

I saw him, smiled and took a seat on a rock—the very same rock that started it all. The view was the same, overlooking a tiny snow-fed stream and a small open field and the peak of Mt. Hood.

The brook murmured gently, I took a photo, and put the camera aside…

And the Frog Master sat.

I got comfortable and expanded. As thoughts would come up, I’d shine the Light of Awareness on them and watch as they’d evaporate and their power over me would vanish…

And—still as a stone—the Frog Master sat.

Adyashanti once told me that his teacher once told him that it takes between 5 and 15 years after enlightenment for the mind to settle and quiet down.

My mind is less noisy than it was five years ago, but still more noisy than I’d like—but when it is still, or when I’m aware and can push away or dissolve the thoughts, a vastness and peace fills me.

As I sat there, just as the vastness happened, I glanced down spontaneously…

And the Frog Master sat.

The quiet mind is the bliss state that so many spiritual seekers seek, the radiant glow of immersion in the Present Moment. No self. No self-centeredness. No separation. And yet, unlike the Frog Master, the awakened are aware of it all.

I looked down for confirmation…

And the Frog Master sat.

To transcend the mind—not to beat it into silence or to ignore its usefulness. To drop expectations, to stop measuring one’s development against the mythologies, to relax and let go. To surrender completely to Her will.

And I sat and I’d flow between the Mind and the Light and the Source—different states of contraction, different levels of immersion in TaoGodHer.

And as I’d flow between these states…

My Frog Master sat.

The Flood

The Skies Clear

The Skies Clear

MT HOOD, OR—I closed the laptop, closed the van, and drove up to Government Camp for a good meal and a well deserved beer. 100 billable hours. Three times what I normally put in in a billing cycle.

But those hours flowed. I was in the zone the whole time. I wrote the complete framework for an entire forum—from scratch—in two weeks. And though I’m tired, it was practically effortless because I surrendered and let Her do it. I let Her write the code.

And it flowed.

When the personal self falls away, it is very easy to get lost. What is important to you when there is no longer a “you”?

Michelle, as I’m sure others who read this blog are, is going through a sort of “value storm.” Much of what used to be important to her is no longer. Everything is in turbulence. There’s nothing to hold onto. No solid ground. Everything is aswirl and it’s scary.

It’s sort of like Noah’s Flood. Things are changing for the better, but right now it’s nothing but rain and wind and lightning and a whole lot of crashing waves.

When I went through it, I had no one to help me, no teacher to guide me. When my personal self fell away, I was lost and I drifted. It’s all right here on this blog.

But things are different for you Michelle. You’re not alone—I’ve got your back.

It gets easier. Though you will never find solid ground to stand on ever again, you are beginning to realize something very few ever do—not just with your mind, but with your heart: You are the Ground itself… and the Sea and the Light and the All.

And yet you are still you.

You can feel this. Though you can’t explain it, you know it.

You know what you have to do. You’ve done it time and time again. You’ve learned it from practice and practical application. You’ve done it before and you can do it again:

When you relax and surrender and allow—when you let Her drive—everything flows and everything works out exactly as it should.

And though you may not know where you’re heading or how you are going to get there, you know it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Listen to your heart.

Listen to Her whispers.

And everything will be alright.

Thresholds

Camped On The Kern River

Camped On The Kern River

On the Kern River, LAKE ISABELLA, CA—I’ve been thinking a lot about thresholds lately. Wait! Come back!

Anyway, for those of you still with me: Thresholds.

I’m camped right on the Kern River having just survived a frigid snow-melt(?) bath and, contrary to what my mind was trying to tell me, it didn’t give me a heart attack and kill me. While I was drying off in the sun and allowing the shivering to subside, I noticed that the flora and fauna here is dramatically different than the desert environment that I just left.

Lots of sandy ground (like the desert) but also lots of trees and wildlife (like the west side of the Sierras). It’s a threshold between two worlds.

Another reason I’ve been thinking about thresholds so much is that in my recent revelation about consciousness having five traits, one of those traits is that consciousness acts as a nexus: a threshold between two worlds (the manifest and the unmanifest).

I think all mystics (and most spiritual seekers) thrive in thresholds, that the dynamic, in-between state of thresholds is where they are most comfortable. Not in the middle of society, but on the outskirts. Not in total solitude, but in communion with a few like-minded individuals.

They don’t get into the latest fads, but they don’t get into the whole monastic thing either. Most mystics are neither hedonists nor ascetics, but somewhere in between.

Don’t get me wrong, when they want to move their center, they head to the extremes: the solitude of the desert, the silent retreat, or even the chaos of the big city, but where they are most comfortable living is in the thresholds, that whole in-this-world-but-not-of-it thing.

Thresholds are where mystics thrive.

Why is this?

Because mystics no longer believe they are merely human. They believe they reside—no, they know they reside—in that mysterious realm—that threshold—between the Mortal and the Divine.

I Believe…

Palm on the River Colorado

Palm on the River Colorado

On the bank of the Colorado River NE of PARKER, AZ

I believe in Human Beings. I just don’t believe I am one.

I believe in Souls. I just don’t believe I am one.

I believe in individual points of consciousness.

And I do believe I am one.

Point of consciousness is an awful term though—I just don’t have a better word for it. This “point” that I am—that we all are—has no boundaries (but it does have a center). What has a center but no boundaries? I don’t know. So for now I’ll call it a point of consciousness.

I believe I am a point of consciousness that rides around in a Soul which has lived for thousands and thousands of years.

And the Soul that I ride around in has attached itself to this human being—to this body.

Sometimes I forget this though—sometimes I get caught up in the world and take it too seriously.

But most of the time I remember.

And when I remember…

I’m grateful

and happy

and free.

The Less There Is Of You…

Less is Often More

Less is Often More

YUMA, AZ

The less there is of you, the more there is of TaoGodHer.

The less there is of you, the more Life flows.

The less there is of you, the more there is of synchronicity.

The less there is of you, the more beauty is seen.

The less there is of you, the more happy you’ll be.

The less there is of you, the more others will open to you.

The less there is of you, the more vast you’ll feel.

The less there is of you, the more there is of Trust.

The less there is of you, the more there is of Peace.

The less there is of you, the more there is of Love.

Sadly, the more there is of you, the opposite is true.

Switch less with more and more with less in the sentences above and you’ll see why I say, “Sadly.”

You are all in your head. Is your story and your past and your roles and your self-centeredness—your You—worth it?

Squinting Into The Light

A Study In Yellow

A Study In Yellow

CLINTON, MS—Early this morning, looking for a coffee shop to work in, I turned the van into the sun and my eyes scrunched up and my face contracted and I felt every skin cell tighten in resistance to the bright light.

This contraction happened all on its own, without any conscious thought at all. It was a reaction.

My hand lowered the sun visor and the shade was a relief, but it took far more effort, more conscious focus, to relax the muscles of my face, to release the contraction. It was as if the very flesh of my face were fearful that the harsh light would soon return.

This involuntary contraction, resistance, and cellular fear feel almost exactly like what the separate self feels like to me.

This is what I mean by contraction. The separate self feels like a contraction in resistance to the Light.

Open, allow, and expand. Feel the contraction of self and release it.

The less there is of you, the more there is of Her.