Empty & Gentle

Resting on Fern Leaves

DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–I have found that there are two qualities that underlie all awareness when the personal self drops–qualities that are powerfully felt when I’m not under the influence of decades-long conditioning: Emptiness and Gentleness.

Emptiness (vastness/openness) is the mental quality of awareness. In a strange, wonderful intermixed sort of way, everything seems to arise (comes into existence) inside of me, is a part of me, and yet is (all at the same time) still separate from me. I use the word “emptiness” because of the strong feeling of it happening inside of me (“me” being the feeling of this vast, living, emptiness). The inside/part of/separate paradox isn’t really a paradox though–it’s just like when you think of an easter bunny: the image is inside you, part of you, and yet separate from you.

Gentleness is the energetic quality. It underlies everything. Conditioned “Wayne” has a lot of Yang (“can-do,” assertive, forceful) energy, but under that conditioning, is this simple, gentleness that feels so much like the “true” me. I’ve often heard other’s call it “love,” but that seems too vague, too idealistic. “Gentleness” feels more alive, more flowing, more natural.

Emptiness is mental and very difficult to experience for most. The noisy personal self is the main barrier to experiencing it.

Gentleness on the other hand is very easy. Just practice being gentle.

Then, as a tool, notice that when you are not being gentle, that you are either under the influence of the personal self or prior conditioning. The simple act of seeing them makes it much easier for them to drop away.

New Meditation: Awakening To Enlightenment

Awakening To Enlightenment

PALM BAY, FL–I don’t know why I had such a hard time getting this meditation out–either I’d screw up the sound quality or I’d over explain the instructions–but I finally got it right. This is the meditation that I used to stabilize my “enlightenment consciousness” during those precarious three weeks of my awakening. I first mentioned it the September 21st entry, Waking Yourself Up. Part IV: The Practice.

You can download the meditation here.

New Video: The Three Enlightenments

The Three Enlightenments Video

SILVER RIVER STATE PARK, OUTSIDE OCALA, FL–I’ve made and uploaded a new video today. Shot from inside a canoe as I drifted down the Silver River outside Ocala, FL. Another example of the one-take-push-record-talk-push-stop technique complete with all the expected unexpected interruptions of real life. Sadly, I didn’t capsize or knock the camera into the water as that would have sent the video soaring up the YouTube viewer ratings. Oh well, maybe next time.

Enjoy and have a wonderful Holiday!

The Intimacy of Oneness

Fallen Oaks

SILVER RIVER STATE PARK, OUTSIDE OCALA, FL–Before I woke up, one of the things that I thought I understood was the sense of Oneness. To the mind, when you drop all boundaries, you become one with everything. The logic goes something like this:

  • Boundaries only exist in the mind.
  • Thus all boundaries are artificial.
  • Without boundaries, everything is one.
  • Thus you are one with everything.
  • Thus you are everything.

To the students of non-dualism (buddhism, taoism, zen, yoga, et all), this makes perfect sense. There really is no table–the mind just categorizes some “awareness stuff” as “table” and some other awareness stuff as “not table.”

Oneness therefore makes perfect sense to the student and the thought of separation is considered as just an illusion.

This is all fine and dandy until the student puts his non-existent coffee cup too close to the non-existent table edge and the non-existent scalding coffee burns his non-existent groin off. And of course the searing pain he feels as he jumps up and down is all just non-existent pain too.

Once I woke up though, I started to feel what is meant by Oneness, and the feel is nothing like what they babble on and on about in the non-dual schools and forums.

After waking up, boundaries still exist–objects still have boundaries–but oddly, I seem to have lost all my boundaries. For instance, when I look at my hands, they seem to exist inside of me.

From the level of the Enlightenment of Oneness, your body seems to exist inside of you. In fact, everything feels like it exists inside you. Everything feels like it is you. And, because everything feels like it is you, it’s almost as if you don’t exist at all.

So forget thinking about what Oneness is–here’s how Oneness feels…
Read more…

The Tao of the Sea and Sand

Emerald Waters and White Sands

HENDERSON BEACH STATE PARK, DESTIN, FL–The clouds, filling the sky, thankfully block the direct rays of sunlight–for the sand is so white that the light’s reflection would surely blind.

An emerald green sea gently rolls in, its rhythm like a beating heart that the tiny sandpipers sense as they dodge in and out–just above the gentle surf–searching for tell-tale signs of hidden crustaceans.

The sand crunches underfoot and a sudden quiver of appreciation runs up my spine as the seagulls float silently upon the air–separate, yet one with the wind.

The Season

Tree Branch

LINCOLN PARISH PARK, RUSTON, LA–The store is full of shoppers–anxiety and desperation etching their features as they push their way through the crowded aisles while the sound of sweet Christmas carols waft from the overhead speakers.

Back at camp, the squirrels, fluffy and fat, spend their time burying nuts for the winter as the cry of a lone crow drifts across the still lake.

How I See My Past

Fog on a Lake on a Chilly Morning
LAKE CATHERINE STATE PARK, AR–A big change in the way I now experience life–versus before I woke up–is how I feel about my past. Memories no longer feel personal. This is due to dropping the Ego Story–the story which consists mostly of past, personal memories.

I still have personal memories, and I still consider them my personal story, it is just that I no longer consider myself to be that story. That is a huge difference–and is a key to waking up.

A bully humiliating me. Catching a girlfriend cheating on me. The feeling of failure when I decided to declare bankruptcy. Each of these memories has the same feeling–has the same emotional impact–as thinking of a kangaroo. A kangaroo. No negative emotional impact whatsoever. None.

On the other hand, good memories–my first kiss, gatherings with my family, hanging out with friends–all are infused with love. Ironically, it is not a personal feeling of love, not a self-centered love, but what you could call, pure, radiant love. Not a pulling, grasping, needy, fearful, wanting love–just a warm outward flowing love, like the warmth felt from a fire on a cold night. In fact, almost all my memories are infused with that love–even the memory of loading the washing machine a few minutes ago.

Indeed, I can look at that bully, I can look at that cheating girlfriend, I can look at that Wayne Wirs who felt he failed–all with love. Past their story, past their actions, is their pure, life force. There is a love within each and every person struggling to radiate out. Struggling to be heard and felt and recognized. If you look closely, you can “see” it–see this Light and Love within everyone and everything.

Behind all our stories, we are the same. Light is Light is Light. It is the personal story–a simple mental concept gone awry–that bends the Light. The personal story bends and blocks and filters the Light towards good actions, bad actions, or–and usually–actions somewhere in between.

The Closing of Autumn

Bare Trees of Autumn

LAKE CATHERINE STATE PARK, AR–From most of the trees, the leaves have fallen away–their purpose finished, their husks discarded. The low, harsh sun of yesterday has crawled behind the subdued clouds and a soft, diffused light rests upon the fields and country roads. There is a sense of stillness here, mixed with a long awaited anticipation as if the earth, like a frail grandmother, was preparing to blow out the sputtering candles on an ancient birthday cake.

A Delay and a Meditation

The Three Enlightenments Guided Meditation

I am still camped north of Phoenix. I had to clean up some messes I had made from my Wayne Wirs days (pre-enlightenment). I also wanted to finish up a much shorter and simpler version of my original “waking up” meditation before hitting the road.

I plan to use The Three Enlightenments Guided Meditation at my talks. I’ll probably play the recording at the beginning of the class to set the mood and introduce the audience to a few of my core concepts (ego, the Divine Within, thoughts, the Three Enlightenments, etc.)

A couple core “strategies” of my teachings–designed to help loosen the grip of the ego–are also covered in the meditation:

  • Shifting your identity to the Divine Within. Ego-Wayne thought of himself as a Soul, but in the meditation I refer to the Divine Within as Love (emotional), Light (visual), or the Life Force (felt). These are concepts much more accessible to the general population.
  • Experiencing what it feels like to be enlightened. The more often that you see and feel the wonders of your enlightened nature, the easier it will be for you to see what blocks you from living this way: the ego, Wayne Wirs, state-your-name, whatever.

The meditation helps you experience both of these aspects of enlightenment. In doing so, it will, hopefully and eventually, allow you to drop your ego story for good.

You can download the meditation here.