LOLO NATIONAL FOREST NEAR ST. REGIS, MT--As I drove northwest from Missoula, I stopped by a river, read, ate, and took a bath in its cool, clear waters. With no pressing engagements, I decided to spend the night.

I love the freedom that the stealth camper provides. Without the need to research campgrounds, I can just drive off in any direction I feel like heading, stop when I'm tired, make camp pretty much wherever. The freedom is wonderful.

In the last post I mentioned that I was inquiring into this "pebble" of self, this "Wayne" thing. If you're interested, I go into it more below the break (huh?).

PARADISE, MI--The last few nights I've been awoken by the thought, "The tire is going to blow out and I'll be stuck in the middle of nowhere."

So, on the way to Paradise, MI (Upper Peninsula), I had the one tire that was balding, replaced. But what should have been a 30 minute job became three hours. They stripped a stud and nut, so now I only have 5 nuts holding the (new) tire on instead of six. It's a Friday of course and there are no studs or nuts for my truck to be found. I told them not to worry about it and went on my way.

I think She's doing this to me on purpose--wearing what little there is left of me down. Ironically, after each incident, each problem, I feel somehow more open. More serene.

Modern spirituality says you have to surrender, you have to stop. I think that can take you far--very far--but ultimately, if you really want to be one with the All, you have to die for Her. Not just give up trying, but die to yourself so She can run things. You've got to say, "I'm done with me. I'm broken. I'm not working anymore. This 'me' is a useless piece of crap and is just getting in the way. Take over, Baby. Thy Will be Done."

There is an amazing feeling of freedom to it.

PALM BAY, FL--I don't know why I had such a hard time getting this meditation out--either I'd screw up the sound quality or I'd over explain the instructions--but I finally got it right. This is the meditation that I used to stabilize my "enlightenment consciousness" during those precarious three weeks of my awakening. I first mentioned it the September 21st entry, Waking Yourself Up. Part IV: The Practice.

You can download the meditation here.

SILVER RIVER STATE PARK, OUTSIDE OCALA, FL--I've made and uploaded a new video today. Shot from inside a canoe as I drifted down the Silver River outside Ocala, FL. Another example of the one-take-push-record-talk-push-stop technique complete with all the expected unexpected interruptions of real life. Sadly, I didn't capsize or knock the camera into the water as that would have sent the video soaring up the YouTube viewer ratings. Oh well, maybe next time.

Enjoy and have a wonderful Holiday!

SILVER RIVER STATE PARK, OUTSIDE OCALA, FL--Before I woke up, one of the things that I thought I understood was the sense of Oneness. To the mind, when you drop all boundaries, you become one with everything. The logic goes something like this:

• Boundaries only exist in the mind.
• Thus all boundaries are artificial.
• Without boundaries, everything is one.
• Thus you are one with everything.
• Thus you are everything.

To the students of non-dualism (buddhism, taoism, zen, yoga, et all), this makes perfect sense. There really is no table--the mind just categorizes some "awareness stuff" as "table" and some other awareness stuff as "not table."

Oneness therefore makes perfect sense to the student and the thought of separation is considered as just an illusion.

This is all fine and dandy until the student puts his non-existent coffee cup too close to the non-existent table edge and the non-existent scalding coffee burns his non-existent groin off. And of course the searing pain he feels as he jumps up and down is all just non-existent pain too.

Once I woke up though, I started to feel what is meant by Oneness, and the feel is nothing like what they babble on and on about in the non-dual schools and forums.

After waking up, boundaries still exist--objects still have boundaries--but oddly, I seem to have lost all my boundaries. For instance, when I look at my hands, they seem to exist inside of me.

From the level of the Enlightenment of Oneness, your body seems to exist inside of you. In fact, everything feels like it exists inside you. Everything feels like it is you. And, because everything feels like it is you, it's almost as if you don't exist at all.

So forget thinking about what Oneness is--here's how Oneness feels...

Oneness. A daffodil is seen, but there is only Living. A bird sings but there is only Singing. Though the mind says, "I am walking through the forest," there is only Walking.

There are no trees in the forest, just Growing. There is no breeze, just Breeze-ing.

There is Breathing, Shining, Clouding, Chirping.

Seeing is as intimate as Touching--Hearing as intimate as Tasting.

All borders and boundaries drop away. There is only Oneness. You are gone, dropped away into the Oneness. The trees, the sky, the clouds, the rivers, turtles, frogs, and deer all drop away into the Oneness.

There is Seeing, but there are no things seen. There is Thinking, but no thoughts grasped. There is the Feel of sand between your toes, but no sand and no toes and no you.

Though the mind says, "Sparrow," there is only Living.

Though there are many aspects to enlightenment, my "center" seems to shift and flow primarily through these three states:

• Passion (Love)
• Stillness (Presence)
• Oneness (Clarity)

The Enlightenment of Passion is Yang, the Enlightenment of Stillness is Yin, and beyond both--arising from the merging of the two--is the Enlightenment of Oneness.

---

Tomorrow: The Enlightenment of Passion.

The former seeker--having negotiated the Lands of the Instinctual Body, of the Noisy Thoughts, of the Divine Soul, and the Serene Witness--can now travel freely. At once One and Separate, at once Whole and Empty, he is no longer anchored--no longer bound to any one land. At once Divine and Human, he is now free to wander wherever the Light and the Wind lead him.

There's nothing special about him--anyone can cross the Bridge.

With determination and patience, any spiritual seeker can transverse the Void and find the absolute freedom of their True Nature.

"The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth."

"Look, it cannot be seen - it is beyond form."

"Listen, it cannot be heard - it is beyond sound."

"Grasp, it cannot be held - it is intangible."

"Stand before it and there is no beginning."

"Follow it and there is no end."

- The Tao Te Ching

Note: This morning, while pondering why my identity seems to constantly flow back and forth between the Light and the Witness and Pure Consciousness, I had this powerful insight into Ego, Enlightenment, the Void and Spirit. This series presents a map that has been forming in my mind - a map that explains why the jump from Ego to Enlightenment has historically been so difficult. Bear with me, and all will soon become clear. - W