Chewacla SP, Auburn, AL---Already I can feel the benefits of my self-imposed isolation, of freeing my mental and spiritual energies and spending the afternoons in Nature. The hikes are "opening" me---revealing subtle knots and attachments in my being.

I'm no expert in either kundalini or the chakras, but lately---as I walk the trails or sit on a rock in a stream---my body from the waist down feels deeply rooted and connected to the Earth, while from the waist up, it feels as open and vast as the Sky.

It is a very intimate connection.

But it's not a conscious meditation---it is just the way it feels.

And it feels wonderful.

There is only Love.

Love is the essence---the source---of all things.

An evil man is just a man who loves himself above all else.

To understand the true nature of Love is to understand the greatest mystery of the Universe: The conflict between Man and God---the conflict between Separation (love of self) and Oneness (Love as Self).

Love is the essence of all things.

There is only Love.

I am writing this before I turn on my Internet, before I get inundated with the daily emails, before I lose the feel for what has happened. I'm going to do the absolute minimal of editing to get it out there. I don't want it to lose the power behind it.

For the last three months, I have been experimenting with the Law of Attraction/the Secret/the Power of the Mind/Wish Fulfillment/….

I feel if it works for anyone, it should work for me---one who has so little to get in the way of the Universe (though I hate that term). I'll go into more details in future posts, but this entry seems to be the conclusion to those experiments.

My mother has (had?) the same rare form of cancer as Steve Jobs had, a cancer so rare that there is no agreed upon course of treatment. After her surgery, after it had shifted and metastasized to her liver, she was prescribed a two-pill form of chemotherapy. One for brain cancer, one for colon cancer. She has neither, but there you go.

On Monday, my mother had a barium CAT scan done to see how the treatment was working.

On Tuesday, they did another CAT scan (non-barium this time) because "something was wrong" with the first CAT scan.

On Wednesday---yesterday---her doctor told my mother that the CAT scans revealed no sign of cancer, that the tumors---which were obvious on a CAT scan taken four months ago---were no longer visible. They took two scans because they were so surprised. They put her on three more months of the therapy (just because it isn't visible doesn't mean it isn't still there), but all in all, it seems like a miracle and by the doctor's surprise, it seems he'd agree.

This morning---12 hours after I heard the above news---I awoke to the sound of an owl. Sitting alone on a branch outside my camper, he hooted. I went outside and looked up at him, feeling that this was some sort of sign, some mysterious message, some arcane confirmation of the mysteries that lie behind all Form, some further confirmation that She exists, and is involved and cares.

A few minutes later, another owl flew over and sat on the branch next to him. A few minutes later, a third.

Never in my entire life have I seen even a single great horned owl.

Today I saw three.

I don't know how else to explain this. I know I've said it on this blog a million times before, but at times like these, it really hits home. That these bizarre but wonderful events are just further proof that: the less there is of you, the more there is of Her.

Yesterday, I found out that my mother's chemotherapy may take up to seven more months---seven freakin months. Maybe less, maybe more---the doctor's don't even know.

They are using a targeted, pill-form of chemo---milder side effects, but apparently a much longer treatment program. It's not that anything new was discovered, it's just that in all the visits and info and confusion, they never mentioned this.

The news dashed all hopes I had of hitting the road anytime soon.

So how does a Mystic handle deep disappointment? My answer below the break.

What does Oneness feel like?

Take your finger and touch the table in front of you.

Close your eyes.

Notice how the part of the table where your finger is touching feels like it is a part of you?

Imagine if all your senses felt that way… whatever they "touched" felt like it was a part of you.

In Oneness, everything in your consciousness---what you see, feel, hear, taste, and touch---feels like "you."

Everything your eyes fall upon, feels like you.

It's not a theory. It's not something to be figured out. It's not something at all.

It's… just this.

At the Radiant level, you feel very thin, very tiny, very insignificant; and She---as everything else---feels vast and endless and boundless.

At the Oneness level, you and She merge.

Not you AND Her… only You.

Everything feels like You.

Everything is You.

You have known this all your life.

You just couldn't feel it because "you" have been so... noisy.

Close your eyes and touch the table.

The Mantra of Oneness is just this….

That's it.

"Just this…."

…

…

…

That wasn't very helpful was it?

That's why I teach living it rather than just figuring it out. Walking it rather than just talking about it.

What does Oneness feel like? What is it like when one tosses aside the theories and beliefs and conjectures and really walks in it?

My answer… in the next post.

PALM BAY, FL---Yesterday, while writing code in a bookstore, a frail old man came up and asked about my laptop---a tiny MacBook Air. I could instantly see he was conflicted---he had a lot of questions to ask about the computer but he didn't want to interrupt what I was working on.

What struck me though (and I am constantly struck by the simplest things these days) is that the Wayne of Old would have been annoyed (as any programmer will tell you) at having to "come out of the code" because of the interruption. But the funny thing is, I wasn't bothered in the least, in fact, I found the "shift" from code to personal interaction to be almost mystical.

More below the break.

WHEAT RIDGE, CO---A review of the ego so far...

At the Body level, instincts---when they are thought of as part of our self---are ego.

At the Mortal level, our personal story is ego.

At the Soul level, our personality is ego.

What is the ego of the Radiant level? The Ego Barrier.

The Ego Barrier is everything left which makes you feel separate from, well, everything else.

More below the break (huh?).

EUGENE, OR---Reader Emily posted this comment/question a few days ago:

Enjoying your posts and hearing about your journey as always, Wayne. Not sure if you've already addressed this before; but how would you "live as a soul" if you were married and had children to take care of? I'm interested to hear your 'take' on that. ;-)

My reply below the break (huh?).

SALT LAKE CITY, UT---During a walk yesterday, I serendipitously discovered a simple way to help the less fortunate while at the same time helping yourself. More below the break (huh?).

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK---Drifting westward, I've stopped in Oklahoma City to get some work done.

More and more I'm questioning how it is that others who claim enlightenment aren't more mystical. When their personal self fell away, what do they claim motivates them from day to day? When they look for their source, how can they NOT find Divinity?

CHATTANOOGA, TN---To new readers of my blog, my last post, Her Whispers, might imply that I believe that I am somehow special (or crazy).

Crazy... well, the jury is still out on that one, but special, ironically, is the exact opposite of what I feel I am.

The truth of the matter is, I don' t believe in myself.

I, the Wayne-Wirs-separate-self-thing, is quite literally, nothing. A figment of the imagination.

Oneness---enlightenment---can't exist with two (or more).

The personal self, the idea of a separate self, is an illusion.

All separation is created by the mind.

What might be confusing is that I, through necessity, have to write from separation---and I often do this from the Radiance level---but ultimately there is no I and no Her (or you and Her), just Oneness.

It's not that I have a special relationship with Her...

It is that She is everything and I am nothing.

Though they may call Her something like Awareness or Emptiness or Presence, ask any enlightened person and they'll tell you the same thing...

"You are not who you think you are. You are (Awareness, Emptiness, Presence, God, the Universe, Tao, Brahman, Allah, the Beloved... Her). You are, and have always been, that which you seek."

How, from the Oneness perspective, does the mystic explain the traumatic loss of lives from Friday's earthquake and tsunami off Japan? How can a God allow such tragedy?

More below the break (huh?).

I've said before that synchronicity implies God/Her/An Intelligent Universe. A powerful example of "being guided" below the break (huh?).

Love is the Core Archetype.

It is the center of Everything.

It is Everything.

How do I know?

Because every creature acts from Love.

Love is their primary motivator.

Love is your primary motivator.

Not Fear.

Love.

We fear losing what we love.

We care because we love.

We get angry because we don't receive what we love.

We hate what threatens what we love.

We envy those who have what we love.

We are selfish because we love ourselves.

But when we drop the Illusion

(of our identity and our story),

we love everything...

because it turns out,

everything is Us.

When you drop the Illusion,

you won't have to try to love...

you'll realize that love is all that is left.

When you let go of your self,

when you let go of your Soul,

when you let go of the Light,

you'll realize that all you are...

is the Light,

and that all the Light is,

is Love.

LOLO NATIONAL FOREST NEAR ST. REGIS, MT--As I drove northwest from Missoula, I stopped by a river, read, ate, and took a bath in its cool, clear waters. With no pressing engagements, I decided to spend the night.

I love the freedom that the stealth camper provides. Without the need to research campgrounds, I can just drive off in any direction I feel like heading, stop when I'm tired, make camp pretty much wherever. The freedom is wonderful.

In the last post I mentioned that I was inquiring into this "pebble" of self, this "Wayne" thing. If you're interested, I go into it more below the break (huh?).

PARADISE, MI--The last few nights I've been awoken by the thought, "The tire is going to blow out and I'll be stuck in the middle of nowhere."

So, on the way to Paradise, MI (Upper Peninsula), I had the one tire that was balding, replaced. But what should have been a 30 minute job became three hours. They stripped a stud and nut, so now I only have 5 nuts holding the (new) tire on instead of six. It's a Friday of course and there are no studs or nuts for my truck to be found. I told them not to worry about it and went on my way.

I think She's doing this to me on purpose--wearing what little there is left of me down. Ironically, after each incident, each problem, I feel somehow more open. More serene.

Modern spirituality says you have to surrender, you have to stop. I think that can take you far--very far--but ultimately, if you really want to be one with the All, you have to die for Her. Not just give up trying, but die to yourself so She can run things. You've got to say, "I'm done with me. I'm broken. I'm not working anymore. This 'me' is a useless piece of crap and is just getting in the way. Take over, Baby. Thy Will be Done."

There is an amazing feeling of freedom to it.

PALM BAY, FL--I don't know why I had such a hard time getting this meditation out--either I'd screw up the sound quality or I'd over explain the instructions--but I finally got it right. This is the meditation that I used to stabilize my "enlightenment consciousness" during those precarious three weeks of my awakening. I first mentioned it the September 21st entry, Waking Yourself Up. Part IV: The Practice.

You can download the meditation here.

SILVER RIVER STATE PARK, OUTSIDE OCALA, FL--I've made and uploaded a new video today. Shot from inside a canoe as I drifted down the Silver River outside Ocala, FL. Another example of the one-take-push-record-talk-push-stop technique complete with all the expected unexpected interruptions of real life. Sadly, I didn't capsize or knock the camera into the water as that would have sent the video soaring up the YouTube viewer ratings. Oh well, maybe next time.

Enjoy and have a wonderful Holiday!

SILVER RIVER STATE PARK, OUTSIDE OCALA, FL--Before I woke up, one of the things that I thought I understood was the sense of Oneness. To the mind, when you drop all boundaries, you become one with everything. The logic goes something like this:

• Boundaries only exist in the mind.
• Thus all boundaries are artificial.
• Without boundaries, everything is one.
• Thus you are one with everything.
• Thus you are everything.

To the students of non-dualism (buddhism, taoism, zen, yoga, et all), this makes perfect sense. There really is no table--the mind just categorizes some "awareness stuff" as "table" and some other awareness stuff as "not table."

Oneness therefore makes perfect sense to the student and the thought of separation is considered as just an illusion.

This is all fine and dandy until the student puts his non-existent coffee cup too close to the non-existent table edge and the non-existent scalding coffee burns his non-existent groin off. And of course the searing pain he feels as he jumps up and down is all just non-existent pain too.

Once I woke up though, I started to feel what is meant by Oneness, and the feel is nothing like what they babble on and on about in the non-dual schools and forums.

After waking up, boundaries still exist--objects still have boundaries--but oddly, I seem to have lost all my boundaries. For instance, when I look at my hands, they seem to exist inside of me.

From the level of the Enlightenment of Oneness, your body seems to exist inside of you. In fact, everything feels like it exists inside you. Everything feels like it is you. And, because everything feels like it is you, it's almost as if you don't exist at all.

So forget thinking about what Oneness is--here's how Oneness feels...

Oneness. A daffodil is seen, but there is only Living. A bird sings but there is only Singing. Though the mind says, "I am walking through the forest," there is only Walking.

There are no trees in the forest, just Growing. There is no breeze, just Breeze-ing.

There is Breathing, Shining, Clouding, Chirping.

Seeing is as intimate as Touching--Hearing as intimate as Tasting.

All borders and boundaries drop away. There is only Oneness. You are gone, dropped away into the Oneness. The trees, the sky, the clouds, the rivers, turtles, frogs, and deer all drop away into the Oneness.

There is Seeing, but there are no things seen. There is Thinking, but no thoughts grasped. There is the Feel of sand between your toes, but no sand and no toes and no you.

Though the mind says, "Sparrow," there is only Living.

Though there are many aspects to enlightenment, my "center" seems to shift and flow primarily through these three states:

• Passion (Love)
• Stillness (Presence)
• Oneness (Clarity)

The Enlightenment of Passion is Yang, the Enlightenment of Stillness is Yin, and beyond both--arising from the merging of the two--is the Enlightenment of Oneness.

---

Tomorrow: The Enlightenment of Passion.

The former seeker--having negotiated the Lands of the Instinctual Body, of the Noisy Thoughts, of the Divine Soul, and the Serene Witness--can now travel freely. At once One and Separate, at once Whole and Empty, he is no longer anchored--no longer bound to any one land. At once Divine and Human, he is now free to wander wherever the Light and the Wind lead him.

There's nothing special about him--anyone can cross the Bridge.

With determination and patience, any spiritual seeker can transverse the Void and find the absolute freedom of their True Nature.

"The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth."

"Look, it cannot be seen - it is beyond form."

"Listen, it cannot be heard - it is beyond sound."

"Grasp, it cannot be held - it is intangible."

"Stand before it and there is no beginning."

"Follow it and there is no end."

- The Tao Te Ching

Note: This morning, while pondering why my identity seems to constantly flow back and forth between the Light and the Witness and Pure Consciousness, I had this powerful insight into Ego, Enlightenment, the Void and Spirit. This series presents a map that has been forming in my mind - a map that explains why the jump from Ego to Enlightenment has historically been so difficult. Bear with me, and all will soon become clear. - W