Your Last Breath


Steele Creek Park, COE Camp, Whitney, TX

When you sit in Oneness, none of your life seems particularly important—and yet it all feels so deeply beautiful.

I expect this is the same way most people feel as they lie on their death-beds…

and take their last breath.


The Earth and the Sky

Rock and River and Wood

Chewacla SP, Auburn, AL—Already I can feel the benefits of my self-imposed isolation, of freeing my mental and spiritual energies and spending the afternoons in Nature. The hikes are “opening” me—revealing subtle knots and attachments in my being.

I’m no expert in either kundalini or the chakras, but lately—as I walk the trails or sit on a rock in a stream—my body from the waist down feels deeply rooted and connected to the Earth, while from the waist up, it feels as open and vast as the Sky.

It is a very intimate connection.

But it’s not a conscious meditation—it is just the way it feels.

And it feels wonderful.

The Divine Nature of Evil

Blurry Waterfall

There is only Love.

Love is the essence—the source—of all things.

An evil man is just a man who loves himself above all else.

To understand the true nature of Love is to understand the greatest mystery of the Universe: The conflict between Man and God—the conflict between Separation (love of self) and Oneness (Love as Self).

Love is the essence of all things.

There is only Love.

The Three Owls

Three Owls

I am writing this before I turn on my Internet, before I get inundated with the daily emails, before I lose the feel for what has happened. I’m going to do the absolute minimal of editing to get it out there. I don’t want it to lose the power behind it.

For the last three months, I have been experimenting with the Law of Attraction/the Secret/the Power of the Mind/Wish Fulfillment/….

I feel if it works for anyone, it should work for me—one who has so little to get in the way of the Universe (though I hate that term). I’ll go into more details in future posts, but this entry seems to be the conclusion to those experiments.

My mother has (had?) the same rare form of cancer as Steve Jobs had, a cancer so rare that there is no agreed upon course of treatment. After her surgery, after it had shifted and metastasized to her liver, she was prescribed a two-pill form of chemotherapy. One for brain cancer, one for colon cancer. She has neither, but there you go.

On Monday, my mother had a barium CAT scan done to see how the treatment was working.

On Tuesday, they did another CAT scan (non-barium this time) because “something was wrong” with the first CAT scan.

On Wednesday—yesterday—her doctor told my mother that the CAT scans revealed no sign of cancer, that the tumors—which were obvious on a CAT scan taken four months ago—were no longer visible. They took two scans because they were so surprised. They put her on three more months of the therapy (just because it isn’t visible doesn’t mean it isn’t still there), but all in all, it seems like a miracle and by the doctor’s surprise, it seems he’d agree.

This morning—12 hours after I heard the above news—I awoke to the sound of an owl. Sitting alone on a branch outside my camper, he hooted. I went outside and looked up at him, feeling that this was some sort of sign, some mysterious message, some arcane confirmation of the mysteries that lie behind all Form, some further confirmation that She exists, and is involved and cares.

A few minutes later, another owl flew over and sat on the branch next to him. A few minutes later, a third.

Never in my entire life have I seen even a single great horned owl.

Today I saw three.

I don’t know how else to explain this. I know I’ve said it on this blog a million times before, but at times like these, it really hits home. That these bizarre but wonderful events are just further proof that: the less there is of you, the more there is of Her.

Problems and Perspective

A Little Life in a Vast Field

Yesterday, I found out that my mother’s chemotherapy may take up to seven more months—seven freakin months. Maybe less, maybe more—the doctors don’t even know.

They are using a targeted, pill-form of chemo—milder side effects, but apparently a much longer treatment program. It’s not that anything new was discovered, it’s just that in all the visits and info and confusion, they never mentioned this.

The news dashed all hopes I had of hitting the road anytime soon.

So how does a Mystic handle deep disappointment? My answer below the break.

Read more…

What Enlightenment (Oneness) Feels Like

Purple Flower on a Prickly Plant

What does Oneness feel like?

Take your finger and touch the table in front of you.

Close your eyes.

Notice how the part of the table where your finger is touching feels like it is a part of you?

Imagine if all your senses felt that way… whatever they “touched” felt like it was a part of you.

In Oneness, everything in your consciousness—what you see, feel, hear, taste, and touch—feels like “you.”

Everything your eyes fall upon, feels like you.

It’s not a theory. It’s not something to be figured out. It’s not something at all.

It’s… just this.

At the Radiant level, you feel very thin, very tiny, very insignificant; and She—as everything else—feels vast and endless and boundless.

At the Oneness level, you and She merge.

Not you AND Her… only You.

Everything feels like You.

Everything is You.

You have known this all your life.

You just couldn’t feel it because “you” have been so… noisy.

Close your eyes and touch the table.

The Mantra of Oneness

Sunset on the Gulf

The Mantra of Oneness is just this….

That’s it.

“Just this….”

That wasn’t very helpful was it?

That’s why I teach living it rather than just figuring it out. Walking it rather than just talking about it.

What does Oneness feel like? What is it like when one tosses aside the theories and beliefs and conjectures and really walks in it?

My answer… in the next post.

(All articles in this series: The Mantra of Mankind, The Mantra of the Soul, The Mantra of Radiance, The Mantra of Oneness)

The Me Stream and the Life Stream

Leaves in a Fence

PALM BAY, FL—Yesterday, while writing code in a bookstore, a frail old man came up and asked about my laptop—a tiny MacBook Air. I could instantly see he was conflicted—he had a lot of questions to ask about the computer but he didn’t want to interrupt what I was working on.

What struck me though (and I am constantly struck by the simplest things these days) is that the Wayne of Old would have been annoyed (as any programmer will tell you) at having to “come out of the code” because of the interruption. But the funny thing is, I wasn’t bothered in the least, in fact, I found the “shift” from code to personal interaction to be almost mystical.

More below the break.

Read more…

The Radiant Ego: The Ego Barrier

The Grand Canyon

WHEAT RIDGE, CO—A review of the ego so far…

At the Body level, instincts—when they are thought of as part of our self—are ego.

At the Mortal level, our personal story is ego.

At the Soul level, our personality is ego.

What is the ego of the Radiant level? The Ego Barrier.

The Ego Barrier is everything left which makes you feel separate from, well, everything else.

More below the break (huh?).

Read more…