The Rabbit Hole

The Eye is not the Subject

The Eye is not the Subject

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—You’ve often heard me dissing thoughts. One of the biggest thoughts we have is about the personal self—your past, your story, your roles.

Here’s a simple Emptiness practice that can lead you down the rabbit hole, reveal your personal self and land you directly in front of the Gateless Gate.

If you agree with this:

A dead brain has no memories.

Then think deeply about this:

If something depends on memory to exist, it cannot be real.

Time? Illusion.

Past? Illusion.

Your past? Illusion.

Your personal self/story? Illusion.

Now read those two clauses again, and I’ll see you on the other side.


Leaves in Light

Leaves in Light

WALLA WALLA, WA—In an email, Rob asked what it’s like to fall in love with TaoGodHer:

In one of your posts you say, “walking, just walking—just a movement, a current, a tide—all happening within God Herself and I fell in love with Her all over again.” What is the feeling of falling in love with Her vs your past experience of falling in love with a regular woman as a separate self?  It seems like understanding this would be an important key for me.

Rob was probably refering to this post if you’d like some background.

In the third grade, I looked over at the new student, Darleen Millee, and caught her looking at me. She quickly looked down in embarrassment, turned red, and I fell in love. If she wouldn’t have moved back to Norway that summer, I’m sure my life would have turned out very differently.

We all know the feeling of love at first sight: Cupid’s arrow strikes and we are instantly enamoured. At that instant, our love for our beloved is pure and untainted. At that instant, it is Ideal Love.

Then the ego (me-me-me) comes into play either on your part or your beloved’s (usually both), and things go downhill from there.

I use the love Darleen and I had for each other as an example of this Ideal Love because, as third graders, our egos hadn’t “hardened” enough to get in the way of the purity. The me-thing wasn’t as solid as it would later become. There wasn’t the sense of lust yet, nor a strong personal desire other than to be near her. I do remember a pang of jealousy when I overheard her say to her girlfriends, “Who’s in love with Bobby Sherman?” and raised her hand (that bastard), but that was the extent of the me-thing getting in the way.

Rob was asking about the love I feel for TaoGodHer. Since She has no ego, there is nothing to get in the way of Her Love. But the only way we can feel this Love—to allow this Love to naturally come through—is for us to weaken the ego.

The less there is of me, the more I feel Her Love… the more this unified (separate but one) Love comes alive. The more we become the Love.

When I walk in God—when I swim in the Paradox—She and I become joined, both separate and one. Two lovers dancing, so enthralled with each other that the ballroom vanishes and the world shrinks to just the two of us. It’s strong and it’s pure and I want nothing more than for it to go on and on forever.

And then it’s gone and I smile and feel blessed to have experienced something so divinely pure, so—paradoxically—ever present but extremely rare.


Lookin' Out My Back Door.

Lookin’ Out My Back Door (doo doo doo).

MT HOOD, OR—Many people assume that when your personal self drops, you stop having thoughts—ie: the mythical state of pure bliss.

These are two separate things.

When you stopped believing in the tooth fairy, your thoughts did not cease.

Same thing with the personal self.

When you stop believing in the personal self, your thoughts will not cease.

As many of you know, I still sometimes struggle with a noisy mind (it’s far less noisy than it was, but still more noisy than I’d like), but I no longer believe in the personal self/ego.

Just like the tooth fairy, once I realized the personal self was just a story—a collection of thoughts that are other than me—it stopped feeling real. It lost its felt sense of solidity.

In other words, to me, the personal self—the ego—is just like the tooth fairy. Just another mental image. Just a thought.

The Divine within can still function in harmony with thoughts, but She can’t function with a “solid” ego/personal self.

PS: I have thoughts on quieting thoughts (ironically) but we’ll address those later.

How To Dramatically Increase Your Luck

The Subtle Light of Life

The Subtle Light of Life

CAMP 3 (or 4), MT HOOD, OR—I came down off my mountain to hang out with Randy the Mobile Kodger for the afternoon. When I told him I’d been thinking of using the term luck instead of synchronicity he spontaneously slid into his Southern Baptist Preacher persona (which anyone who has been around Randy for more than five minutes is quite familiar with), and sang its praises.

Synchronicity is just another word for Luck. Good luck. Outstanding luck. Luck bordering on the magical.

From a consistent standpoint, I am the luckiest person I have ever met, and I know at least a dozen people who would agree with me.

I may not have won the lottery (yet), but I have consistently good luck. Outstanding luck. Magical luck.

Why? Because the less there is of the Wayne-thing, the more there is of the Divine-thing, and the Divine-thing has all sorts of resources at Her disposal.

So how do you dramatically increase your luck? How do you “get lucky” on a consistent basis?

  1. Live as if you never die. Research the evidence of the Soul and recognize there is zero evidence to the contrary. Then start living as if you live forever. Your ego (the State-Your-Name-thing) will take a serious hit—and that is a very good thing when it comes to getting lucky.
  2. Open to Radiance. Feel the natural Love you have for yourself, then open and allow that Love to flow outward onto others (people, plants, animals, rocks). Surrender to this Love and whatever naturally arises. Your ego will take another serious hit.
  3. Practice Emptiness. Dig out and drop everything your mind says is true about the personal self. The personal self (ego) is an illusion and it’s all in your head.

Do these practices one at a time or concurrently, but if you do them one at a time, then I strongly suggest you do them in the order above. Pretty soon, there will be far less of “you” in your life and a hell of a lot more of the Divine.

And the less there is of you, the more lucky you’ll get.

The Subtle Senses Of Self

The Many States of Being

The Many States of Being

SOMEWHERE IN THE SIERRAS, CA—Some thoughts I’m fleshing out. Hopefully this will be enough theory for awhile. Sorry for the long posts.

Instinctual self: Our genetically hardwired sense of self responsible for self/species preservation.

Ego: The imaginary self consisting of a persistent belief that we are our thoughts, past memories, and current roles.

Mortal self: The body, thoughts, emotions, and experience.

Soul self: Consciousness which transcends the body, but is still individualized.

Radiant Self: Consciousness still separate from the surroundings, but with a powerful sense of Love (TaoGodHer as other) flowing through you and into everything you see or experience.

Emptiness Self: The pure Witness when the sense of separation from the surroundings vanishes. Everything feels as one/you/consciousness.

Witness, Transcendent Self or just Self (capital S): When the ego is dropped, that which is experiencing events.

Personal self or just self (small s): Any combination of the above selves which you identify with.

No Self: When the Witness is no longer identified with. Clunky phrasing, but to say something like “when you no longer identify with the Witness,” is completely contrary to the experience. Everything is One Thing (nondual), and there is no “you.”

A couple key points:

  • Self is all about identity… who or what you believe yourself to be. Not rationally, but experientially.
  • Self seems to fall into one of three broad categories: Ego (me, me, me), Transcendent (I Am), No Self (???). Hat tip to Adyashanti.
  • Most people’s personal self is the ego.
  • Mortal and Soul selves are more individual based (solid self boundaries), and thus most egos identify with a combination of these.
  • Radiant and Emptiness selves are ethereal based (subtle self boundaries) and thus most people who have “woken up” tend to identify with a combination of these.
  • Though Emptiness and No Self seem to be the same, Emptiness still has a subtle sense of identity (the Witness).
  • The instinctual self has a great influence on pulling the “self center” temporarily lower (toward Mortal).
  • TaoGodHer (the nondual Intelligence), subtly pulls the “self center” higher (toward Her).
  • My experience of No Self is limited, but the instinctual self seems to affect the No Self too—it contracts the identity into one of the lower self stages because of having a physical body.
  • I have yet to identify with the ego (imaginary self) since “waking up” back in 2009. However, I often (inadvertently) contract (solidify/harden) to the Mortal and Soul levels. In other words, I no longer experience myself to be my thoughts or my history or the roles I participate in, yet I still sometimes take thoughts seriously (Mortal) or see myself as an immortal individual (Soul).
  • When I talk about the Wayne-thing (or the me-me-me), I’m talking about my Mortal self and/or instinctual self (thoughts and/or self-concerns). For most people, the Me-thing is their ego (imaginary self).

This all came about because of two “knots” I was contemplating on my birthday:

  • Knot 1: Why does my sense of self, which tends to be centered in Radiance, shift between the other levels (Mortal, Soul, Radiance Emptiness)? Insight/Whisper: The shifting of the me-center is influenced in an upward direction by a “Divine pull” (TaoGodHer) and a downward direction by the instinctual self. Not like a tug-of-war pull, but more like a unified, yin/yang, moon/ocean, tidal-like experience… a flowing.
  • Knot 2: Why do I need to identify with anything? Almost identical to the box technique mentioned here (“Right now, do I need the ego?”), but on the next level up (not ego to Witness, but Witness to No Self).

As I said, I’m still fleshing this stuff out so it’s all a bit rough, and quite honestly I’m about sick of it (I’m much happier just living it rather than explaining it), but I wanted to post it somewhere so you guys’ll have a better idea of what I’m talking about when I use that little four-letter word self.

Thanks for putting up with me (whoever that me is). 🙂

Negative Reinforcement

Too Much Mind. Too Little Light.

Too Much Mind. Too Little Light.

FRESNO, CA—When it comes to spiritual development, I’m a big fan of negative reinforcement. If it sucks, you’ll tend to avoid it. So un-Buddhist of me I know, but it works (I’m not a Buddhist).

In this forum post, I respond to micherts comment about the analytical mind and how I use my dislike of the mind to strengthen the Love/Light in me.

Turns out, Thomas Merton might have been a fan of negative reinforcement too:

In humility is the greatest freedom. As long as you have to defend the imaginary self that you think is important, you lose your peace of heart. As soon as you compare that shadow with the shadows of other people, you lose all joy, because you have begun to trade in unrealities and there is no joy in things that do not exist.

-Thomas Merton

Volumes have been written about what Merton says in just three little sentences. Beautiful.

As long as you have to defend the imaginary self that you think is important, you lose your peace of heart.

In other words: If you keep defending your personal self (imaginary self), then your life is going to suck.

Bad dog! Bad! Drop that right now! You bad dog.

Negative reinforcement: Bad for dogs—good for you.

(All silliness aside, read those three sentences again. Powerful words.)


Silent Forest

Silent Forest

SHAVER LAKE, CA—Thursday, while in Fresno, I looked up the weather for Shaver Lake and saw rain on Saturday and snow on Monday. Still not sure where to go though, I flipped my coin and She said to head back up the mountain. Didn’t make sense to me, but I figured She had something for me to do up there or some lesson to teach me. So I told myself I’d spend a few days there then drive back down before the snow fell.

(I know how crazy the above sounds, but without a personal self—with almost no personal self-interest—what difference does it make where I go or what I do?)

Forecast: Rain Saturday night. Snow Monday afternoon.

I assumed the weather reports would be correct. That by “rain” they meant rain.

Being a complete snow noob, I learned a lot this morning (Sunday) when I awoke to about four inches of snow covering everything from last night (Saturday night… snow, not rain): How wet it makes the interior of the van when you track it in, how it sticks to stuff, how brutally cold it makes your fingers when clearing your windshield, how you can drive in four inches quite easily. Most importantly I learned not to trust mountain weather reports—to not assume they are going to be accurate.

So maybe that’s what She had in mind for me—to teach me the basics of snow. But assumptions are what She had in mind for you.

When it comes to inner peace, there are some key assumptions which often make peoples lives miserable—or as the Buddha would say, lead to suffering.

Here are a few:

  • The assumption that your story (history) is a part of you
  • The assumption that your thoughts are a part of you
  • The assumption that your body is a part of you
  • The assumption that when your body dies, you die

Each of the above is an incorrect assumption, yet most people believe them to be facts.

They are not facts—they are beliefs.

Beliefs that aren’t even true.

Believing in them has cause immeasurable suffering. Global suffering. Historic suffering.

Totally unnecessary suffering.

The first three assumptions can be seen through by realizing that You experience these things—that there are two things involved: You and that which you experience. Two things… Two. Separate. Things. You the experiencer… and that which you experience (your memories/history/story, your thoughts, your body).

The last assumption—that death isn’t what it appears—simply takes a little research.

Look deeply. Examine the above. Root out and question your assumptions.

You’ll be glad you did.

Serenity in the Snow

Serenity in the Snow

Everything You Need To Know To Become A Fully Realized Mystic

Green Whirl

Green Whirl

WICKHAM CP, FL—By mystic I mean someone who realizes they are nothing and the Divine is everything.

Everything you need to know to become a fully realized Mystic:

State-Your-Name is blocking God Herself.

When among others, when lost in self-interest, when in doubt or when you are trying to win, simply say to yourself the following (replace my name with yours):

“Wayne Wirs is blocking God Herself.”

Pretty soon you’ll stop taking that ridiculously silly personal self so seriously.


Nature Unknown

Nature Unknown

WICKHAM CP, FLGrease, released in the movie theaters 35 years ago.

I bought the DVD a couple of days ago and watched it tonight.

Summer Nights,” the definitive song on the difference between men and women and awakening relationships. Watch it. See it. Feel it.

Now rewind and play “Summer Nights” at half speed. No sound. Just movement.

The men start out moving like roosters. Strutting and prancing.

The women break into two groups: One who adore Sandy’s pure love of Danny, and the others who think she’s a naive fool.

The song progresses.

The men still strut like roosters.

But now the women are moving toward Sandy, who finds love to be the core of the Summer romance, with only three women (Rizzo of course included) sliding in front of the scene in cynical disagreement.

And still the men strut.

Finally, it is only Rizzo, the lone cynic, who denies True Love while the entire cast of women support Sandy’s Summer romance—all joyfully—gleefully—grateful that Sandy has found true love.

Half speed you play the scene—no sound—as you see Sandy (the beautiful Olivia Newton-John) step away from the group of women—and John Travolta (as Danny) step away from the group of men, both as they express (not from the mind, not from his (Travolta’s) persona) the True Love of the heart as they sing, and remember “those Summer Nights.”

But note this (as you watch at half speed): Sandy/Olivia is right there, no distance at all separating her from Love—while Danny/Travolta is separated with a view across the entire school (separated by his “cool” persona).

Think about that: How much does your persona separate you from Love/Reality? How much does your persona separate you from Her/God/Your Beloved?

On the DVD, in the extras, you’ll find an interview with both Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta 25 years after the movie was released. In the interview, if you play it at half speed, you’ll see both of these actors touch their heart when they contemplate why this film has embedded itself in American culture—why this film has had such an affect on our lives.

They touch their heart unconsciously—not their heads, not their thoughts, not their theories.

They touch their hearts.

Do you want to live true? Do you want to live in harmony with Life itself?

Stop taking your mind so seriously.

Touch your heart. Trust your heart.

Christ said, “The kingdom of heaven is within.”

He wasn’t taking about within your mind or your persona.

He was talking about your heart.


The Frog Master Practice

Tree on the Prairie

SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE SOCORRO, NM—With an unexpected morning off, I hiked up the hill above camp with no intention other than a little exercise and appreciation of nature.

On the hike back down, I saw a rock in a clearing. I sat down on the rock, and—since I had recently given Michelle the task of sitting for two hours while imagining a frog sitting quietly next to her (based on my own frog master experience), and having mentioned the same thing to Joyce when she stopped by—I decided to practice what I preached and do likewise. … Read more…