BY A LAKE ABOUT 5 MILES NORTH OF BEACH, NORTH DAKOTA–”Jim and his Karma” left a comment on my last blog post stating basically that he felt I was just kidding myself about this enlightenment thing. (Actually, he left two comments, but I wrote this before receiving the second one). My response below the break (huh?).
A CORNFIELD SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE BISMARCK, ND–After locking my keys in the truck while stopping for a break in the woods of the Chippewa forest, I took it as a sign that 1) She wanted me to stay the night here and 2) it was time to get my priorities straight.
An hour later I got the truck unlocked (with a small branch no less), and spent two nights right in that spot.
In the video The Secret
Lately I have been concerned about problems with the truck (a natural concern with a used vehicle) and sure enough, I’ve been having problems with the truck. Nothing big, and frankly mostly my own fault, but enough to really make me see who’s really running things here.
So I spent the two days re-evaluating my priorities:
NEWPORT NEWS, VA–It’s amazing what a few holes in a box can do. Two windows and a vent and all of the sudden, there is light and air and Life.
Pure awareness–that which is your nature before your mind starts buzzing–is a lot like the new windows in my truck. It really isn’t anything special, just an opening–but that opening allows for us to see and breathe. What was dark before awareness/windows, is now light. In a very real way, openings allow Life.
I differ from many non-dual teachers in that I spend a lot of time celebrating and appreciating the life that flows forth from this emptiness (and I call that flowing, moving Life, “Her.”)
Before, when I climbed inside the back of the truck and closed the doors it was pitch black and stuffy. Now there is light and air (and Life). Your awareness is the Light and Life–and ironically, your mind confuses things and makes everything dark. 
(Raw pictures of the truck with windows and the early bed below the break. What does “below the break” mean?)
NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I have been feeling really down since buying the truck. My mind has been filled with dreads and doubts and worries. My mind has been focusing almost exclusively on problems: Can I have AGMs and Lead Acid Batteries on the same circuit? Should I cut a window here? How do I get all these rivets out? After spending all this money and effort, what do I do if the transmission locks up? People are going to think you are homeless. No one will take you seriously anymore. You’ve made a huge mistake, you’re an idiot.
But all those thoughts are just the mind doing what minds do: worry, solve problems, protect (and criticize) the personal self. More below the break…
NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I’ve received a whole bunch of emails over the last few days asking why I’m looking for a “stealth RV.” I can sum it up in four words, “The Bastard Doug Coone.”
More below the break…
NEWPORT NEWS, VA–When you own little, you feel freer. When there is less of you (no personal self), you feel freer. When your life is simple, you feel freer.
It’s ironic that we are conditioned (brainwashed?) into buying more stuff, bettering our character (more ego), and keeping our schedules filled (more activity).
I’m not advocating self-imposed poverty or isolation though–that is just another character-building game (ego). I’m talking about finding a balanced, conscious, and harmonious way to live with the natural flow of Life.
I’m talking about keeping–even acquiring–the stuff which enhances your freedom and harmony, and getting rid of (selling, donating, tossing) the stuff which makes you feel embedded.
Our lives can feel like a rock sitting in the mud at the bottom of a lake–or like a fallen leaf gently floating upon a stream. We’re conditioned by society to sink, when it’s in our nature to float.
NEWPORT NEWS, VA–As I walked through a busy mall today I thought, “I have no room for any of this stuff.”
Every time you buy something, you should consider getting rid of something else–maybe two things. Everything you own, is just more stuff weighing you down.
You could say the same thing of your personal story: It’s a huge body of imaginary stuff weighing you down. A giant imaginary story restricting your natural self–your inherit freedom.
If you are contemplating lightening your load, instead of thinking of it as letting go of your stuff, maybe you should think of it as your stuff… letting go of you.
NEWPORT NEWS, VA–Other than about a dozen cases of Fading Toward Enlightenment sitting in my brother’s garage, everything I own fits in my Jeep. Let me say that again, “Everything I own fits in my Jeep.”
I had the RV exactly two years to the day, sold her yesterday and am now officially homeless.
I checked into a room for a week at an extended stay hotel (InTown Suites). The room goes for about the same nightly rate as a campsite. Not too bad for the price but I suspect some of the loose stuff in the Jeep will find another owner by morning. I’m surprisingly unconcerned.
HUNGRY MOTHER SP, VA–Everywhere I look, I see Beauty. Everywhere I look I see the Divine. Everywhere I look.
Many (not all, but most) nonduality teachers seem to miss this entirely. It’s like they think enlightenment is a purely mental process, as in, “I figured it out!”
Much like my confusion with their lack of personal blogging, I’m boggled that they seem to be blind to the amazing essence that suffuses everything. The One Life that is everything (including ourselves).
Our True Nature is not just a mental quality, not something to be figured out.
Our True Nature is Life without the illusion of a personal self–not some dusty, dry and rationalized Awareness without any life.
HUNGRY MOTHER SP, VA–As I was breaking camp today, I noticed one of my–I don’t know what they are called, a “do-hickey” I think–was missing from the front of my jeep. The do-hickeys attach the jeep to the tow bar which allows the RV to pull the jeep around behind it.
Because of the missing piece, I ended up getting a much later start than I expected (it took about two hours to find another do-hickey ($3.00) at Tractor Supply in Kingsport). Not a big deal, as I wasn’t planing on driving very far anyway.
But because of that delay, I ended up finding this great camp spot right on the river. There is no way this spot should have been empty as all the other sites on the river were taken. The previous occupants must have just vacated it. Once again, I’m finding this whole control thing is over-rated.
So I’m sitting here in my little office in the back of my RV, listening to the river flow by, fine-tuning the photo and writing in this blog.
I love the sound of a babbling stream in the morning. It sounds like… victory.
I’m a very lucky man.
Warrior’s Path S.P., Kingsport, TN–A follow up to “Naked In A Stream“:
One of the hardest points to get across to spiritual seekers is that when it comes to enlightenment, there is nothing to gain.
Enlightenment is like dropping the clothes that you have been wearing all your life.
Nothing is gained. No new skills are acquired.
Over the course of your entire life, you have been naked under your clothes.
Warrior’s Path S.P., Kingsport, TN–In the comments of my last post, reader Emily asked my thoughts on the oil spill. She’s talking about the Deep Horizon oil spill and I just spelled out “Deep Horizon” because, 1000 years from now, no one will know what oil spill Emily was referring to. A thousand years from now, readers will have to look up “Deep Horizon” because the memory will have been long forgotten and the effects of the spill will have effectively vanished.
This “temporariness” is a key aspect to finding inner peace and appreciation within our world. More below the break…
Warrior’s Path S.P., Kingsport, TN–Some people see a world filled with darkness and danger, a world where the future hangs like a foreboding storm cloud.
Some see anyone who believes differently from them as their enemy.
Some view strangers with suspicion and distrust.
Some even fear the simple, empty alleyway.
How can this be?
Because most people see the world through their mind and not through their eyes. Through their fears and not through their heart.
Most people see thoughts–but not Truth.
Darkness where there is only Light.
POWELL, AL–The other day, as I was self-checking-out some groceries, I told the little computer that, “Yes, I would like some cash back,” and proceeded to walk out of the store with the $100 sitting there in the cash dispenser. I didn’t realize my mistake until the next morning.
My first thought was how wonderful that must have made someone feel.
If I ever win the lottery, I’m going to do that every day.
CHEWACLA STATE PARK, AUBURN, AL –With Spring in the air, every day for the past week a little bird (and its mate) would build a nest somewhere in the undercarriage of my RV or Jeep. I in turn, not wanting to drive off with their future eggs, would tear it down in the hope that they would find someplace more suitable.
From their point of view, I probably appear as some angry God who enjoys raining tragedy down upon them–destroying their new home over and over again.
From my point of view, I’m trying to save the lives of their future offspring–and all the generations that may come forth from those eggs.
If you believe in a greater power (or Destiny, or the Fates, or… hell, if you’re not an atheist), I hope this little story brings you some comfort.
PS: Not only do these birds remind me of last year’s Lake Tahoe Saboteur, but they also reminds me of The Great Bird Feeder Wars that my father used to wage with the neighborhood squirrels.
CHEWACLA STATE PARK, AUBURN, AL –I’ve been designing a particularly complex piece of software lately. During these “hardening” phases of Life, I like to take time away from the computer and just sit in Nature. The opening I feel often brings with it a profound sense of clarity and harmony.
Yesterday, I sat quietly on a rock in the middle of a forest stream. Sitting–and just being–for hours.
WHITE OAK CREEK CAMPGROUND (COE), EUFAULA, AL–One of my favorite things about being on the road again is being awakened by the birds singing outside my window, stepping outside and seeing all the wildlife scampering about–celebrating a new day.
It seems that the natural state of animals is, “I’m happy to be alive.”
WHITE OAK CREEK CAMPGROUND (COE), EUFAULA, AL–Many people pay six or seven figures for homes with views such as I woke up to this morning (and my home cost less than most cars).
You give up a lot when you live on the road–but the freedom is sweet and the views never grow boring.
COE EAST BANK CAMPGROUND, CHATTAHOOCHEE, FL–I’m not traveling as much as I did last year. I seem to be mostly spending my days writing code, camped in beautiful wooded places, feeling out my direction.
I’ve committed myself to this freelance job until August. I’m putting off any major decisions until then: What will I do for income? Should I teach? Should I write a book? Should I sell the RV and get a more stealthy vehicle? These questions are there, but I’m not “working” on them. I’m allowing them to gel, to clarify on their own–in their own time. It’s very freeing letting go like that.
Tomorrow, I’m heading on up into Alabama, to another Corps of Engineers campground. I love COE parks. They are almost always (always?) on the water, well maintained, and usually off the beaten path (read: not too crowded).
LAKE LOUISA STATE PARK, CLERMONT, FL–Thanks to all of you who called or texted me at some ungodly early hour to get my butt out of bed to see the space shuttle go up.
LAKE LOUISA STATE PARK, CLERMONT, FL–Today I had lunch at a Bob Evans restaurant near here and my waitress reminded me of a girlfriend from long ago.
She had a great smile and a “I-make-being-happy-my-number-one-priorty” type of attitude.
Though a great body may only last you 10-15 years–a great attitude will provide you with an entire lifetime of joy.
PS: Thanks Susan for the Facebook link (in regard to my last post) on available caretaking jobs: http://www.caretaker-jobs.com/
DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–Heading north to the middle of the state tomorrow morning. Going to stay in a state park for a couple days and then maybe onto some private land. Two different people in the area have offered to let me “camp” on their land up there. It’s wonderful how things fall together when you get out of the way.
On that note, the condo I was staying in at Deerfield sold. Mary, whom I was house-sitting for, said she loved the fact that I was care-taking the place. It gave her lots of peace-of-mind knowing that it was being kept clean, dusted, maintained and watched over.
The main reason it sold though, was because one time I was accidently around when a realtor came by and I was able to answer most of the prospective buyer’s questions. Turned out that realtors just don’t have all the answers that buyers ask at a showing, and–having stayed there–I did. Being a “disinterested but knowledgeable” party turned out to be a big plus for the buyer (I was even invited to their place whenever I’m in Chicago).
Being there to answer their questions was probably what sold the condo after it sat stagnant on the market for over a year.
With such a down real estate market, there’s probably quite a demand for honest caretakers.
DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–Three months in S. FL.
Three months. Much has changed, much has settled.
Time passes, the weather warms…
The road beckons.
DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–A couple weeks ago I went through this entire list of enlightenment teachers (Nonduality/Advaita Vedanta) and not one of the (currently) 77 teachers keeps a personal blog. Not one. Isn’t that strange?
Sure some of them post “article” blogs–a series of articles supporting their teachings–but no teacher blogs about their daily lives. Not a single one.
Enlightenment is not just about waking up–it’s about living life. It’s about a rare, amazing, open, and natural way of seeing and functioning in this world–the perfect fodder for a good blog.
Each of these teachers must have considered how useful a day-to-day, personal blog would be for their students, and yet none of them chose to share their non-egoic lives.
Really–isn’t that strange?
DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–The other night I had a powerful dream:
I was deep inside some large dark cavern, a cavern that the entire population lived in (or so I thought). I was being chased by some large, unseen dinosaur. As I fled, I ran past a wolf that was caught in a hunter’s trap. As I ran by, I felt terrible because I knew the monster was going to eat the wolf. Feeling guilty, I turned around and, even though I thought the wolf would bite me (and the monster might get us), I freed him from the trap (a wire was wrapped around his neck and I cut it away with a pair of wire cutters that were conveniently in my pocket).
More below the break…
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