My Last Dying Regret

My Office at the Primo Site

My Office at the Primo Site


December 3, 2016 9:38 AM

An excellent practice for determining the meaning of your life is to imagine yourself on your deathbed. (Note: I did not say this was a fun practice.)

You’re lying there on your bed, dying. There’s no hope of a cure. There’s no finagling your way out of this one. Superman can’t save you and Dr. House is on vacation. You. Are. Screwed. You’re in this bed and you (at least your body) is never getting out of it alive.

What do you regret?

Read more…

Denying The Divine

Patterns of the Tao

Patterns of the Tao


May 9, 2016 10:18 AM

The main series of insights from the other night revolved around a previously hidden pattern in the 9 Aspects and a re-defining of two of them—the Shadow and the Ascetic Aspects.

As the mental reassembly of the Aspects came together, I started to contemplate what I meant by Mystic. In doing so, I got the great idea that the Divine isn’t required for one to be called a Mystic.

My logic went like this (keep in mind, it was around 3 in the morning): … Read more…


Sage Advice

Sage Advice


March 25, 2016 10:25 AM

Whatever brought on the last post has triggered a bout of soul searching, “Am I on the right track here?”

One of the ways to explore a problem using the Aspects is to think of them as perspectives: What would the Mystic say about this? What would the Witness advise? How about the (gulp) Shadow? (For the values of the Aspects, see this post.)

Anyway, that’s what I’m up to. Lots of info coming in from the Aspects, and a huge number of whispers (synchronicities). Maybe I’ll have a clear answer/direction tomorrow, maybe in a month. Who knows? Either way, don’t sweat a little silence from my end.

If you haven’t been following the comments on the previous post, check them out and join in. Lot’s of great stuff being shared by some very wise souls.

This Morning’s Insights

Dream-worthy Clouds

Dream-worthy Clouds


September 7, 2015 9:02 AM

This morning, I awoke with the following insights:

  • Collapsing the ego barrier (enlightenment) isn’t the goal. Inner peace and Happiness are. Enlightenment is just an ego desire (we think enlightenment will bring us inner peace and happiness so our ego makes enlightenment a goal).
  • My overall advice to spiritual seekers is to re-distribute your identity dollars into the higher levels of the Map. This will make accessing those levels easier on a day-to-day basis, as well as pulling your identity “center” higher. Bonus Material: Spending more time in the higher levels will dramatically weaken the ego barrier.
  • Michelle is able to access the higher levels practically at will. Less so when overwhelmed. The same applies to me. The biggest practical difference between Michelle and I isn’t the collapse of the ego barrier, but that I get “overwhelmed” less often because my identity is more heavily invested in the higher levels (I don’t take the lower levels very seriously—they are less “me” than the higher levels are). But—I guess—I don’t take the lower levels very seriously because of the collapse of the ego barrier(?) (may be a circular argument but may also be a powerful, circular technique: Strengthening the higher, weakens the lower, which weakens the ego barrier, which strengthens the higher…).
  • A big thing that makes my outlook on life different from most is that I look at death like it is an upcoming vacation. I see death as kind of a respite from the daily grind (yeah, tough life I live). A temporary vacation, knowing full well that I’ll have to come back to work (re-incarnate) sometime after. (Readers: Don’t go freaking out on me now. I enjoy this life and feel I have a very clear purpose (work) to do. Because of that purpose, I want to get as much of this work done before the vacation.)

The Perfect Teacher

Flawed Perfectly

Flawed Perfectly


July 25, 2015 10:58 AM

I spent the morning in a coffee shop, tagging blog posts to be included in the re-tentatively titled book The Awakening of a Mystic: Enlightenment was only the beginning…. I know, I know, I’ve started and stopped this book (and others) a number of times, but since I’m going through an O/S reboot, consolidating the past in book form seems like a safe bet.

In going through the posts, I kept coming back to how often I was “confessing my sins”—how imperfect I come across when compared to most spiritual teachers. Then I saw my comment on this recent post which is so indicative of the nature of much of the spiritual transparency problemThe idea that spiritual teachers should be perfect.Read more…

Miracles, Mystics, and the Divine

The Sun and the Tree

The Sun and the Tree

MT HOOD, OR—I’ve never been much of a believer in the biblical miracles, but—assuming they did happen—I wonder if they would have happened if a Mystic wasn’t involved:

  • Would the flood have happened without Noah?
  • Would the Red Sea have parted without Moses?
  • Would one of the two thieves crucified on the hill have been resurrected had Jesus not existed?

Maybe TaoGodHer needs Mystics as a sort of a conduit or catalyst for Her will to manifest.

If that’s the case, I think the world could use a few more Mystics—Mystics much more clear or empty than I currently am.

Because the world we live in today could certainly use a few more miracles.

The Fear Of Freedom

A Wayside in the Woods

A Wayside in the Woods

TILLAMOOK STATE FOREST, OR—The mind loves a good plan. Plans soothe and settle our fears. But plans, when followed, restrict our freedom.

As I write this, I find myself sitting next to the Wilson River in the beautiful Tillamook state forest. The woods are lush and green and florishing with new life and a small waterfall next to the van creates a soothing and natural white noise. The air is cool and clean and fresh and smells wonderful. According to my most recent planI shouldn’t even be here.

And yet I do find myself here—here in this unexpected and beautiful place. There is no way—with what I knew an hour ago, let alone last week—that I could have planned this.

The original plan was to head up the coast to Astoria, and then follow the Columbia River east and north up to Canada. But this morning, while sitting in a coffee shop in Tillamook and putting the finishing touches on some code, I realized I’d seen enough of coastal Oregon for awhile, so what should I do? Should I follow the original plan because of stubbornness or ego or mind? Or should I let go of all that mental crap and just wander wherever I’m drawn?

When you have a home and a 9-5 job and kids and a dog and a cat, you need to do some serious planning to manage your free time. You’ve got a lot of stuff and a lot of commitments and a limited window of opportunity.

When you live in a typical RV or travel trailer, your restrictions are far less but you still (nearly always) need to plan your next destination—either a campground or a known camper-friendly area. You’ve got a lot less stuff than the typical homeowner, but still enough stuff and a big enough rig that you can’t just camp anywhere.

But when you live in a van, you don’t have to plan squat. If you can drive there, you can camp there.

As appealing as freedom is to the heart, the mind doesn’t like it. Freedom means the unknown and the unknown it too scary for the mind. Minds like plans and security and facts.

Many people say they want freedom—many people say they want enlightenment—but the simple fact is, our mind doesn’t want us to be free, it doesn’t want us to be enlightened. Our mind wants us to be safe and secure. It wants to know what’s going on. In the case of the ego, the mind clings to the story of “you” and wants a happy ending. The mind wants the known. It wants a plan. It wants to control things and the only way it can control things is if it can plan for a predictable future.

Freedom—whether physical or spiritual—simply doesn’t work that way. Freedom doesn’t work with a plan because freedom doesn’t work in the future.

Freedom only works in the Present, and the Present isn’t something you can plan—it’s not something you can control. The Present is vague and mysterious right up until the very moment it happens. It isn’t something solid. It isn’t something you can know ahead of time.

There is a medieval tome of wisdom and spiritual freedom that is NOT called The Rock of Certainty.

No. Freedom—spiritual or otherwise—is neither solid nor certain.

That beautiful ancient tome is titled, The Cloud of Unknowing.

Three As One

At the Top of Moro Rock

At the Top of Moro Rock

SHAVER LAKE, CA—When I start taking on students again, I think instead of trying to take them one step at a time—getting the Soul down, then Radiance, then Emptiness—we’ll work on all three aspect at the same time.

Living as a Soul—recognizing this life is but a moment in your entire Soul-based life—addresses many mortal issues. It works in the physical plane.

Opening to Radiance—feeling the Love and Light flow through you—works in the emotional plane.

Expanding to Emptiness—removing all mental self boundaries—works with the mental plane.

Practicing all together—physical, emotional, mental—may make the progress of students much smoother and less frustrating.

I’ll probably use a special, private section of the forums to provide instructions and to host the students’ online journals. I’m not ready to start yet, but maybe soon.

In Seclusion

Self Portrait

Self Portrait

SECLUSION, IN—As I head into seclusion, to open and to contemplate and to await answers to questions ill formed, I’d like to wish each of you a happy and peaceful and pleasant holiday and new year.

Winter is here, and for many, it is a season of stress: holidays and snows and winds and freezing temperatures and pressures from both family and peers.

I hope you find some time in this busy season for a little introspection. Some time to sit quietly and be still and to contemplate the things that are important in your life. I hope you find new ways to nurture that which is important and to resolve to stop pursuing that which is frivolous and futile.

And as you sit quietly, as you grow still in contemplation of these things, I hope you remember one thing most of all:

God moves through the heart and not through the head. Open your heart and be still and be patient and soon you’ll hear Her whispers.

I’ll be out of touch for anywhere from two weeks to two months. In that time—other than from family—I won’t be answering emails or comments to posts or much of anything (though I will read all of these).

If you want to be informed upon my return (and you aren’t already subscribed), simply follow this blog by email or RSS or copy into your News Reader, and when I upload new posts, you’ll be sure to see them.

Have a happy and peaceful and joyous holiday season.