Flying and Perspectives


Date: January 25, 2013 4:28 PM 

Flying and Perspectives

Jeff (my brother) ended up buying the airplane and landed it here in Deming yesterday afternoon. This morning we went for a brief flight before he headed back to the skies and down to FL.

We flew over the park and around the mountains that surround my camp and I was struck by how different everything looks from up here.

Driving back to my rig, I was once again struck by how different this “car view” was from the aerial view, and, on my hike, how different the “walking view” is from the other two.

All three views of the same place. All with their own unique beauty.

This reminded me of the unique beauty of each of the four levels:

  • Emptiness with its vastness and unity
  • Radiance with its flowing love and light
  • Soul with its appreciation of the fleeting temporary
  • Mortal with its many desires

All seeing the same world, yet all seeing it so vastly different.

Each view with their own different perspectives of Beauty.

No Connection, Only Connection


Date: January 23, 2013 9:04 AM 

No Connection, Only Connection

My MiFi card wasn’t connecting, so I went for a walk after breakfast. I crested a hill and the low morning sun lit up a barbed wire fence. Off in the distance, the dust plume of a car, speeding down a dirt road, rose gracefully in the air as the driver hurried to his destination.

I’d catch my mind, filled with concern for my parents and sister back in FL, and I let all that noise go, having decided—with Mom’s consul yesterday—to hold off on returning to FL to “fix” things.

As the thoughts faded, I’d open my heart and share this world with Her, opening to allow Her to see all Her Beauty. We’d hear our footsteps and feel the connection of this body with the Earth and smile as a bevy of quail rushed through the underbrush. We listened to the sound of our breathing as we climbed a rise and, on approaching the end of the path, watched as a column of fence posts came into alignment then shifted apart as our perspective changed.

We reached the main road and walked down the center line and up the hill, back to camp. I let Her go then and stepped through the door, sat down at this laptop and wrote these words.

The Case of the Vanishing Van

ROCK HOUND SP, NM—The reason I’m a mystic is because synchronistic events happen in my life all the time, and the only theory I can come up with in explaining these continuous, odds-defying, synchronistic events is that synchronicity implies God. Ergo, the mystic.

From today’s journal entry:

Date: January 21, 2013 5:09 PM 

The Case of the Vanishing Van

A bizarre “coincidence”: I moved camp back to Deming today because my brother is flying out to Mesa, AZ on Thursday and quite probably buying a teeny, tiny stunt airplane. He said he’d land here on the way back to FL to meet up with me and then, probably just to fulfill my death prophecy, crash us into a mountain or something.

The van I had been keeping my eye on, coincidentally, is also in Mesa, and has been listed for sale for the last couple months. Which got me thinking, “Since Jeff’s going to be in Mesa, why not leave the trailer in Deming, drive out to Mesa to look at and/or buy the van, then meet up with Jeff there?”

But the van mysteriously vanished from Craigslist sometime during the day. It was there last night, had been listed for at least two months, and this afternoon… poof, it was gone.

What are the odds?

I guess She really didn’t want me to get that van.


My Death Premonition

PANCHO VILLA SP, NM—It is 8:27am and oddly, I find myself in a hurry to post this, just in case I don’t survive the day. Wouldn’t that be cool? Especially if I got run over out here in the desert by a truck towing a ski boat.

From this morning’s journal entry:

Date: January 19, 2013 7:42 AM 

Death Premonition?

A dream last night: In a large body of water surrounded by a beautiful jungle/forest. On shore, on a hill was a large mansion. My anima and I were in the water. She was being towed in from her “test” behind a ski boat, and I was waiting to be towed out for my “test.”

She was sad because we were going to be separated, but I said, “It’s just temporary. Now go on in there (the mansion) and pick your number and I’ll be along shortly.”

Then my boat started to tow me out to sea for my test, and I was a little concerned for two reasons:

  • I was one of the last to be tested and all the good numbers (that you pick in the mansion) would be taken, and
  • I royally suck at water skiing.

But I was comforted by surrendering and allowing Her (She/God, not my anima) to determine how well I do in my test and by what numbers She’ll provide.

I tried to tell the driver to take it easy, that I sucked at this, but he was busy flirting with a group of women in the boat and didn’t hear me. He started to accelerate and I felt myself being pulled forward.

I looked down at my feet, expecting skis and saw I was wearing diving fins. I awoke with a smile, since diving is second nature to me.

I wonder if the dream was a premonition of my death:

  • The anima, being a subconscious archetype, probably wouldn’t stay with me into the Soul Realm (the Bardo realm, the Mansion). But our separation being “temporary” suggests she’ll rejoin me in the next life.
  • Water (as I understand dream interpretation) represents life.
  • Being one of the last to be tested, there are fewer numbers left to pick from—fewer lives to pick from conducive to my current level of spiritual development.
  • Though I had a strong faith, I still had significant concerns about my odds (meaning I’ll have to come back until my faith is stronger, irrelevant of the odds against me.) This is a recurring pattern of conflict I have between my mind’s logic vs. Her will.

So in case you never hear from me again… So long, have fun, don’t take any of this too seriously, and I’ll see you in the next life. 🙂

And This Concludes Our Test of the…

CITY OF ROCKS SP, NM—And this concludes our test of the Transparent Journal Experiment.

I hope you didn’t find it all too boring. I hope it revealed some of the inner and outer workings of this odd life:

  • What it is like to have a duplex personality
  • Or to have a day-to-day intimate relationship with the Divine
  • How synchronistic events happen almost daily, often multiple times a day
  • About not trying to fix a noisy mind, but transcend it
  • About how solitude and a simple life can expand one’s inner vistas
  • How flowing with life by not trying to win all the time, helps us feel one with Life
  • How having access to the Divine doesn’t mean understanding Her will or plans
  • How the Levels in theory are much softer in action, how they ebb and flow continuously
  • How creativity soars when there is less mental energy devoted to the self
  • How when the Lower Levels yell for attention, guided meditations and practices can help

But mostly I hope you have seen that no matter how far along the Spiritual path you travel, you are still stuck here on Earth, in a human body, with a human mind, and human conditioning—and that none of it needs to be taken seriously.

And all that… in less than two weeks.

We now take you back to our regularly scheduled program.

Journal 1/11/13: A Koan, a Quest, and a Question

CITY OF ROCKS SP, NM–A Koan, a Quest, and a Question…

Date: January 11, 2013 7:23 AM 


Lots of great ideas again last night. Pushed a lot of them away, but I did get caught up in a few (dammit). Didn’t write any of them down or record them on my voice recorder, so that’s a small victory.

Which brings me to a little koan that came to me last night (See? I just can’t get away from these damn things! I’m addicted I tell you. Addicted. 🙂 ).

The Koan:

Why is “Better” important to you personally?

(Synchronistically, when I woke up, I see Seth Godin’s morning post in my news reader: Four reasons your version of BETTER might not be enough).

Now forget the synchronicity. Think about this:

Why is “Better” important to you?


Date: January 11, 2013 3:58 PM 


Since I needed to go into town for propane and supplies, I decided to do a little exploring in the truck to see if I could find any good boondocking spots in the area. I found the one that Boonie and Randy had found before. A beautiful spot but what a nightmare to tow a trailer all the way up there (eight miles up a single lane mountain road).

Just another example where a stealth camper van would have been perfect: Since I was already there, I could have just parked and stayed a week or two.

Still, I have pretty much decided to keep the trailer even if I do get and outfit a van for camping. I figure the trailer will come in handy back in FL when I’m either down there visiting or on an extended stay helping out with the family. If I did get the van, then I’d probably just put the trailer in storage when not in use.

Date: January 11, 2013 4:48 PM 

A Good Question about “Beyond Emptiness”

Reader Jeff asked a good question today about confusing “beyond Emptiness” with not really being there. Again synchronistically, one of those pull-me-away-from-Her thoughts last night was about the “Hero’s Journey” of the spiritual quest: the Ascent to Enlightenment (Emptiness) and the Descent of bringing it back into the world (Integration). And even though I’ve been ranting recently about explaining my theories, I felt the synchronicity was Her way of telling me to just shut up and do it. My reply here.


Journal 1/10/13: Letting Go


Date: January 10, 2013 9:04 AM 

Letting Go of the Desire to be Understood

An easy night. When interesting and attractive thoughts would come up, knowing they’d push Her out of my bed, I’d sweep them away and rest easy with my Lover.

I’m finding the analogy between an alcoholic to his drink and my addiction to creative thoughts to be very useful in dampening their appeal. I figure if a creative thought really needed my attention, it will keep repeating itself for weeks and not fall off into mental oblivion. No need to chase it—it will chase me (sort of like the van and book ideas).

I pondered how to respond to some critical comments to yesterday’s journal entry stating opposing views and what the commenters seem to believe to be nondual truths. They are just trying to help, but they don’t seem to understand the Paradox or the fact that you can move beyond Emptiness. As I said yesterday, it’s the explaining that hardens/contracts me and pushes my Lover away—and I simply hate it when I lose Her because of my actions.

So I advised one reader who seemed trapped in the Emptiness level to read my posts from the initiation of the Illumination onward, and the others I just thanked. What more was there to say? I’ve been through everything they’ve mentioned—and either moved beyond it or come to realize they are just myths, beliefs perpetuated by conjecture. All those hard and painful lessons I’ve learned, I’ve confessed and explained on my blog over the years.

My thoughts of the moment are to write a book or two describing my perspective and experiences and just be done with all this explaining. Then I’ll be free to spend the rest of my time with both Her—helping Her to see Herself—and with others who wish to do the same.