JOHN DAY DAM, WA–Yesterday, on the phone with Jim, I was telling him how I wasn’t sure if the truck is for me. He said I should just find a cabin on a lake and rent it for a few months. That resonated with me.

This morning, as I was looking at the stats of this website, I saw that someone had found my site by searching for the words, “for i have found the teacher of truth.” Curious, I plugged it into google (click the link above) and my website came up as the only hit. I clicked the link, since I was pretty sure I never wrote those words, and it turned out to be a comment from our own Ms. Q from South Africa, a long-time reader of this blog.

More surprising was the date, exactly one year ago today (September 1). More surprising still, was the content of the post where I was announcing for the first time what was happening to me after my personal self had dropped.

It’s taken awhile, but I’ve learned to listen to Her. I closed my laptop and drove down to my “cabin on a lake.” Seems like the perfect time and place to help dig out this little pebble of mine.

REST STOP ON I-5 AFTER BEING CHASED OUT OF BOTH EVERSON & BLAINE, WA–Things I Saw Since Yesterday.

More images below the break (huh?).

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MILE MARKER 150, RT 20, NORTHERN CASCADES, WA–Things I Saw Since Yesterday.

More images below the break (huh?).

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A COFFEE SHOP IN KALISPELL, MT–Things I Saw Since Yesterday: GLACIER NATIONAL PARK, MT.

More images below the break (huh?).

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NEWPORT NEWS, VA–As I was sitting at a light yesterday, a guy jumps out of his car, runs over to me and says, “Hey, you’re truck’s spraying diesel from your engine!” (Bad Luck).

Sure enough, there was this huge hole in my engine shooting diesel fuel all over the place.

Actually, it was just a little hole where a bolt fell out, but in the middle of traffic with a heat index of 120, your mind pictures all these worst case scenarios and holes where they shouldn’t be just look bigger.

More below the break. (What does “below the break” mean?)

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NEWPORT NEWS, VA–Consistently, when faced with a problem, I am finding that if I just do my research and then put off fixing/deciding/acting, within a couple of days I will see something that will trigger a powerful, right-feeling, answer.

Nothing magical about it. You’ve probably heard of this before. But what I am finding interesting is how reliable it is. Before, Wayne Wirs used to feel proud when he would figure out a problem with his brain. It made him feel smart and special.

Now I find it much more rewarding (and a powerful reinforcement of our “connectedness) when I just let go and let Her show me the way.

It has happened so often over the last year that I no longer consider it mystical–just a simple, natural (though not easily explainable), aspect of life.

I love it.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–I’ve been looking at the maps lately, looking outward. Looking toward the Road. I’m more comfortable with the truck now–more confident in her–in her reliability, her quirks and personality.

Once the ceiling vent and windows are installed (I’m having them done–I’m leery of cutting into the walls and roof), I’ll return to the Road.

Initially, I’ll travel in survival mode. I’ll lay in a plywood floor to cover the current grated metal one, toss in an air mattress, a cooler, a camp stove. A bucket for a toilet, a pan and sprayer for a shower. A camp chair to relax and read in. Some containers to stow my few possessions.

I’ll head north in search of cooler weather. Maybe the rugged Maine coastline with its small harbor towns. From there? Who knows? I’ll go to wherever She calls.

I’ll build out the interior as I go, a step at a time, learning what works and what doesn’t. Like Life, you learn it by living it, you find your way by feeling it.

I’m looking forward to the Adventure. To this next phase of my life.

I hear Her calling to me. I feel her pull.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–(PARENTAL WARNING: If you are the parent of a stupid and/or accident-prone child, you are advised NOT to read the following article.)

As I’ve often said on this blog, I am a very lucky man. Being very lucky makes up for most of my stupidity and casual attitude toward danger. For an example of this Stupid/Luckiness Yin/Yang-type dualism, see my “Diabolical A/C Removal Project” below the break. (What does “below the break” mean?)

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NEWPORT NEWS, VA–For the last week or so, I have been running from place to place, trying to find hard-to-find parts, assemble them, realize my mistakes, return them, and repeat.

Every day I’ve said to myself (because I need the income), “Tonight, I’m going to write code.” Every night I’ve been too beat to sit at the computer and crunch out software. Instead I veg out, sleep, and repeat.

My mind just works better in the morning.

So as much as possible, I’m trying to write code in the mornings and save the grunt work for the afternoons and evenings. I may not get the truck as camper-ready as quickly as I’d like, but the balance is definitely much more healthy.

I even get bonus material: Though I shouldn’t be surprised by this (I am still amazed it happens so regularly), every time I drop the “trying to make it happen” attitude – ideas, hard-to-find-parts, and resources seem to naturally (even effortlessly) appear on their own.

STAUNTON, VA–I’m hanging out in a mall parking lot in my RV, sweating my butt off, sitting in Limbo. An ex-virtual woman I know (I just met her in the flesh yesterday) is contemplating buying my RV. I had hoped to hear her decision by now so I could know which direction my life will take. If she buys the RV, I’ll probably go grab an “extended stay” hotel room near the beach, work on my tan, write a book that’s coalescing and code software. If she doesn’t buy it, I’ll probably head out to Colorado where it’s cooler, boondock, write a book that’s coalescing and code software.

But who knows their future? Has anyone’s life turned out the way they expected it?

The Wayneness wants to know (but he’s an idiot). He wants her to buy it. He wants to get a box truck and camp stealthily anywhere his heart desires.

The Wayneness has a plan.

The Oneness on the other hand just smiles and says, “My/Your/Our future is already written.”

It’s really as simple as that.

Our future has already been written. It doesn’t matter what our little minds want. She’s got a plan.

We might as well relax, let go, and watch as Her Beauty unfolds.

Warrior’s Path S.P., Kingsport, TN–In the comments of my last post, reader Emily asked my thoughts on the oil spill. She’s talking about the Deep Horizon oil spill and I just spelled out “Deep Horizon” because, 1000 years from now, no one will know what oil spill Emily was referring to. A thousand years from now, readers will have to look up “Deep Horizon” because the memory will have been long forgotten and the effects of the spill will have effectively vanished.

This “temporariness” is a key aspect to finding inner peace and appreciation within our world. More below the break…

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Warrior’s Path S.P., Kingsport, TN–From the Tao Te Ching, Chapter 42, last paragraph:

What others teach, I also teach; that is:
“A violent man will die a violent death!”
This will be the essence of my teaching.

My thoughts on this below the break…

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POWELL, AL–Today, I hiked down a trail, took my clothes off and went skinny dipping in a stream. There is something wonderful about being naked in Nature. Nothing between you and the sun and the rocks and the water.

More below the break…

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POWELL, AL

POWELL, AL–On the drive north to my friend Doug’s place the other day, I decided that yes, I was going to sell the RV and get a step-van or box truck and outfit it as a stealthy RV. I have been wrestling with this idea for months. I like the idea of being able to go anywhere, stay anywhere, and not have to make plans on where I will camp or for how long. The freedom to go to where I am drawn without restrictions. Sort of like the Peace Pilgrim but with a computer, bed and wheels.

Anyway, not five minutes after I made this decision, while stopped at a light in Oxford, AL, a guy in a pickup truck pulls up next to me and shouts over, “Hey, you want to sell your camper?” This has happened a grand total of zero other times in my life, so I took it as a sign that I had made the right decision.

I pulled over, let him look at my rig, gave him my number (his father is looking for a used RV), and continued on my way.

CHEWACLA STATE PARK, AUBURN, AL–I’m not sure about this photo.

It was early morning and I was hiking a trail along a marshy area. The recent rains and a sudden heat wave made the air sticky and steamy. Something about this log, lying in the still water, caught my eye. When I removed the camera from the bag, the lens immediately fogged over.

The darkness, the harsh lighting, the steaminess, the stillness–all of them pulled at me. I could see Her lying there–ever-present, yet (as She so often is) overlooked.

I’m not sure I captured the feeling of Her though. This is one of those shots where I saw Her so clearly as I snapped the picture. I’m just not sure I captured the mystery of Her for you. The hidden yet pervasive nature of Her.

This is my third variation of this photo and I’m still not satisfied that it does Her justice.

WHITE OAK CREEK CAMPGROUND (COE), EUFAULA, AL–On the birthdays of my past, I would always call in sick to work, never answer the phone, and take the day to think about my life. All years prior, I would contemplate where I had been, where I was heading, and strategize a way to get there.

Today, as the rains poured down outside, flooded my camp and rolled off into the lake, I felt my thoughts flowing in much the same way as the water flowed. Not trying to control. Not trying to solve. Not trying to fix. Just watching where my thoughts were drawn. Listening to Her whispering in my ear.

It is so freeing to let go. To allow Life to guide you rather than trying to control it. To allow Her to carry you where She wishes.

Our minds fight this lack of control–but oddly enough–when you do let go, when you surrender completely to Her, She’ll take you right to where you are meant to be–right to where you belong.

COE EAST BANK CAMPGROUND, CHATTAHOOCHEE, FL–Though my message still hasn’t fully clarified, I’m often rewarded with glimpses of it.

It seems to me, when it comes to teachers and students of enlightenment, that there are two primary camps: Those who are attracted to the Stillness (Tolle, Adyashanti, …) and those who are attracted to the Emptiness (Maharshi, Krishnamurti, “Nondualists,” …).

Stillness draws those who seek calmness.

Emptiness draws those who favor logic.

But there is an often overlooked aspect. An aspect, ironically, that is wholeheartedly embraced by most religions: Love.

Love isn’t quite the right word though–it is too vague–but it is closer than “God,” or “Spirit,” or “The Divine.”

It is closer because Love is a verb, not a noun, and this aspect of enlightenment is a movement, not a thing.

Awareness? Perception? Too dry, too clinical.

Life? Not as in “My Life,” but as in, “The Life that moves through this body.”

The Life Force? Aliveness? Living-ness?

I don’t know what to call it, but look at any object, living or inanimate, and you will see Her dwelling there within.

Rumi saw Her. Emerson. Da Vinci. Saint Teresa. Lao Tzu. They spoke of Her, painted Her, wrote songs and poems of Her.

Do you see Her? Can you feel Her “alive-ening” you?

I know it’s a contradiction that I call this moving, living, energy a “Her,” but calling Her an “It” is way too impersonal–way too cold. Disrespectful even. Odd huh?

Am I crazy? Can you see Her in the photo above? Can you see Her in the Snail? In the Lock? In the Wood of the door? Can you see Her in the Light?

I am crazy aren’t I? I just know it.

COE EAST BANK CAMPGROUND, CHATTAHOOCHEE, FL–Since I had taken the RV out of storage and been on the road again (only a little over two weeks now), the RV has been running very rough. At first I thought it was just old gas or maybe condensation in the tank, but, as I found out yesterday after taking her into the Ford dealer in Live Oak (FL), it’s a bad ECU (engine control unit)–a little computer that monitors and maintains various functions in most vehicles on the road today.

The bad news is that they did a national search for this little bugger and there just aren’t any to be found (my RV is a 1994). More bad news is that in order to fix her, they need to pull the ECU, ship it off for repair and maybe have it back in two weeks (maybe a month). Two weeks (a month!) with no place to live since the RV can’t be driven without the ECU. Miserable.

So I looked online and within a couple minutes found the exact part I needed. I could either drive down to Davie, FL and pick it up (a day and a half there and back), or they could ship it to me for Monday delivery. I decided I’d find a place to camp the RV, drive down to Davie in the jeep and be up and running the next day.

More bad news–bizarre news even–was that I couldn’t find a single place in town (or even near town) that had a site for two nights. There was a big concert going on and I guess big concerts in little towns are a big thing. I tried at Stephen Foster (where I had stayed the last few nights), but no luck. I tried another place that said they had only one site open for two nights, but they couldn’t hold it. When I got there a half hour later, it was taken. I even tried this little campground with lots of empty sites on the far outskirts of town, and when I said I’d be running down to S. FL overnight, she looked at me as if I had just shot her dog and said you can’t store your RV here. I said, “But I’ll be back tomorrow!” She crumpled up the paperwork she had started to fill out on me and gave me that I’ve-got-a-shotgun-right-here-behind-the-counter look.

Everything was going against me.

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STEPHEN FOSTER…STATE PARK, WHITE SPRINGS, FL–It’s funny how much the mind wants to control things. Why is control, why is knowing, why is being right so important to the mind?

Life is so much easier when you let go. When you stop trying to bend Her to fit into your plans.

As you let go and relax into Her–as you stop fighting what She’s trying to show you–it’s amazing how helpful She becomes.

It’s amazing how beautiful She is–how beautiful She’s always been.

Every photo I take, I take of Her.

DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–Heading north to the middle of the state tomorrow morning. Going to stay in a state park for a couple days and then maybe onto some private land. Two different people in the area have offered to let me “camp” on their land up there. It’s wonderful how things fall together when you get out of the way.

On that note, the condo I was staying in at Deerfield sold. Mary, whom I was house-sitting for, said she loved the fact that I was care-taking the place. It gave her lots of peace-of-mind knowing that it was being kept clean, dusted, maintained and watched over.

The main reason it sold though, was because one time I was accidently around when a realtor came by and I was able to answer most of the prospective buyer’s questions. Turned out that realtors just don’t have all the answers that buyers ask at a showing, and–having stayed there–I did. Being a “disinterested but knowledgeable” party turned out to be a big plus for the buyer (I was even invited to their place whenever I’m in Chicago).

Being there to answer their questions was probably what sold the condo after it sat stagnant on the market for over a year.

With such a down real estate market, there’s probably quite a demand for honest caretakers.

“The less there is of me, the more there is of Her.” Synchronicity is a powerful indicator that the belief that we are all One is indeed true. The less there is of you–blocking the Divine within–the more readily the Universe (Her/your Beloved/the Divine Mother/God) can work through your body and in your life…
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I’ve finished the eBook version of Fading Toward Enlightenment ($9.95) and the rework and updates to The Implications of the Soul (free). Both are available on this site.

It’s getting a little crowded up here on my mountain. Apparently deer hunting season (with bows) is due to start in about a week and the hunters are nailing down their campsites early. Looks like I’ll be heading out tomorrow as I’ve grown kind of attached to the deer around here. North, South, East, or West? Not sure yet.

Seeing Clearly is now available for download. I originally wrote it back in 1997, though it was never published. More info here.