The Religious: “God is Love.” (“I want to know Him, but He is separate from me.”)

The Radiant: “Love is God.” (“I feel Her. She moves through me.”)

“God is Love.”

“Love is God.”

Do you see the difference?

No one needs to teach you about God. No dogma is required. No reading, or research, or middle-men are necessary.

You have always known Her.

Anyone who has ever loved… knows the true nature of God.

—

PS: After writing this, I cracked open a fortune cookie: “When seeking the Light, ignore the reflections and go directly to the Source.”

As I mentioned in the previous post, for the past three months I have been experimenting with the Law of Attraction/The Secret/Wish Fulfillment.

Why? For a couple of reasons:

1. I wanted to help my mother in her fight with cancer.
2. I wanted further evidence that She/God exists.

More below the break…

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I am writing this before I turn on my Internet, before I get inundated with the daily emails, before I lose the feel for what has happened. I’m going to do the absolute minimal of editing to get it out there. I don’t want it to lose the power behind it.

For the last three months, I have been experimenting with the Law of Attraction/the Secret/the Power of the Mind/Wish Fulfillment/….

I feel if it works for anyone, it should work for me—one who has so little to get in the way of the Universe (though I hate that term). I’ll go into more details in future posts, but this entry seems to be the conclusion to those experiments.

My mother has (had?) the same rare form of cancer as Steve Jobs had, a cancer so rare that there is no agreed upon course of treatment. After her surgery, after it had shifted and metastasized to her liver, she was prescribed a two-pill form of chemotherapy. One for brain cancer, one for colon cancer. She has neither, but there you go.

On Monday, my mother had a barium CAT scan done to see how the treatment was working.

On Tuesday, they did another CAT scan (non-barium this time) because “something was wrong” with the first CAT scan.

On Wednesday—yesterday—her doctor told my mother that the CAT scans revealed no sign of cancer, that the tumors—which were obvious on a CAT scan taken four months ago—were no longer visible. They took two scans because they were so surprised. They put her on three more months of the therapy (just because it isn’t visible doesn’t mean it isn’t still there), but all in all, it seems like a miracle and by the doctor’s surprise, it seems he’d agree.

This morning—12 hours after I heard the above news—I awoke to the sound of an owl. Sitting alone on a branch outside my camper, he hooted. I went outside and looked up at him, feeling that this was some sort of sign, some mysterious message, some arcane confirmation of the mysteries that lie behind all Form, some further confirmation that She exists, and is involved and cares.

A few minutes later, another owl flew over and sat on the branch next to him. A few minutes later, a third.

Never in my entire life have I seen even a single great horned owl.

Today I saw three.

I don’t know how else to explain this. I know I’ve said it on this blog a million times before, but at times like these, it really hits home. That these bizarre but wonderful events are just further proof that: the less there is of you, the more there is of Her.

CANTON, TX—A few days ago, before knowing for sure if I was heading to Florida, I had decided to take the truck for a long test drive to make sure everything worked as it should before getting a trailer, fifth wheel, or slide in camper. I was in Denver at the time and had thought I’d drive to Grand Junction, CO, but after reading this blog post, I decided to head to Santa Fe instead.

More below the break…

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SANTA FE, NM—I understand now why, after nearly three months of staying in hotel rooms, I wasn’t able to find either a place to live or an RV rig which felt right.

The other day I found out that my mother needs some additional work done on her bod. It’s not certain how badly it will affect her, nor how long it’ll take, nor how long I’ll be needed down there in FL yet (if at all), but there’s no sense in buying a rig until I’m certain she’s OK, and there’s no sense burning more money on hotel rooms waiting around.

In retrospect, it’s good I didn’t sign a yearly rental lease on an apartment, nor find a rig that would just need to be put in storage for an indefinite period. She (the Big She) really does work in mysterious ways.

So tomorrow I’ll throw my bags in the truck and start heading back once again to the hot and humid climes that go along with the summers in sweltering central Florida.

With a little luck, maybe I’ll find some nice, secluded lakes along the way (there doesn’t seem to be a reason to hurry) and get some camping in. It’s always cooler by the water and I might as well get some use out of that nice topper (think built-in tent) that came with the truck.

BLOOMFIELD, NM—One of the dangers of an online diary/blog, is that when you say something outlandish like, “which confirmed my theory that She wanted me to check out Taos” (Synchronicity #2 on April 6th’s post) and you are implying that something very much like what most people would call God is talking directly to you, well, you just leave yourself wide open for humiliation, failure and online ridicule. Fortunately I could care less about those things.

Here’s what did and didn’t happen in Taos earlier today (below the break) (huh?).

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LAKE GUNTERSVILLE SP, AL—Practically every day, whenever I’m in public, I’ll catch people doing a double-take at me. It usually goes something like this: Recognition then Confusion then Curiosity then the Leaning In then the Parting of the Mouth (as if they are going to say something) then the Change of Mind then a Pulling Away and finally four or five sidelong glances. It’s really kind of funny.

After yesterday’s synchronistic events (below), I should probably start encouraging them to talk.

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I’ve said before that synchronicity implies God/Her/An Intelligent Universe. A powerful example of “being guided” below the break (huh?).

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PALM BAY, FL–Early yesterday morning, in my inbox, I find a long, complex email from my client, sent the night before. In it, he went over all the extra features and functionality that he wants implemented into the project we’re working on so that it is ready for an upcoming demo.

Huge changes. Complex changes. Changes that require a lot of thought and time. Changes I didn’t feel I had the time or energy to make. More below the break (huh?).
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PALM BAY, FL–Lately, I have been thinking about the implications of the many synchronic events that have happened in my life (recent examples).

In The Implications of the Soul (free download), I point out that reincarnation implies that we never need to fear death again. Past life memories imply that we come back (reincarnate) pretty much as we are now–different bodies and cultures, but basically the same “person.”

But what are the implications of synchronicity?

What I have found, is that a close look at synchronicity can change your life… Really.

More below the break (huh?).

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DURANGO, CO–I specifically rented a car–rather than buying one–for the reliability. I said to myself, “I’m done with all this drama.” So when the car broke down this afternoon (Wednesday) 40 miles north of Durango on a lone mountain pass (out of cell phone range of course), I just had to smile.

I didn’t experience an ounce of fear or trepidation. I knew She was messing with me for a reason and within seconds–seriously, seconds–of opening the hood of the car, a wonderful woman stops and asks if I’m having trouble. Her cell phone worked and she called Hertz for me. The woman, Louise, was into meditation and Buddhism, so I gave her a copy of Fading Toward Enlightenment out of gratitude.

After I got down from the mountain–an hour and a half later–I called Louise back (she had checked in repeatedly with Hertz to make sure I got down from the mountain safely), and it turns out that she is in the middle of a dietary cleansing, a six month spiritual intensive, and is writing a book, so, she said, meeting me and reading my book was very synchronistic for her.

It’s all practice. More and more, as things go “wrong,” I find myself smiling and just waiting for Her to get me out the the mess that I find myself in. Maybe She’s just screwing with me so that I learn to have absolute faith in Her/The Universe. Maybe She’s reconditioning my mind and emotions to “let Her drive.” Maybe I was “called” to Durango (see my last post) because something in FTE or our conversation will help Louise on her own spiritual journey.

Regardless of the reasons, with all these “Job-like” events in my life lately (Randy’s words), how could anyone doubt that there is something much “bigger” running things? Seriously, if you’ve followed my blog for the last few months, how could anyone doubt that there is a much greater intelligence operating in our lives? (See posts under Synchronicity and Adapting To ).

The less there is of you, the more there is of Her.

Yesterday, I was talking about how, without the ego barrier separating “you” from Her, there is a profound, yet inscrutable “communication” between the two poles (of You-that-was-on-the-inside and Her-that-was-on-the-outside).

As I was finishing up yesterday’s blog, there was a knock on my door.

Long story short, the local Oregon Food Bank sent over a driver, and he brought along his mechanic friend to check out my truck for donation, simply because the donation sounded, in their words, “too good to be true.” In poking around at it, they got it to run (a bad battery cable connection). Because it was just an inspection, they didn’t have the donation paperwork, so they said they’d take care of it tomorrow.

Suddenly I had a working truck that didn’t cost anything to fix and would be perfect for getting me and my stuff back to Florida.

What would you have done? What I did is below the break (huh?).

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EUGENE, OR–As I’ve mentioned often, making personal decisions has become surprisingly difficult for me since awakening. I don’t have problems solving problems (software design, trouble-shooting, etc.), but, because there is no “me” left (as weird as that sounds), there seems to be no basis for making decisions about my life or direction–nothing to rest the decision on.

Recently though, I think I’ve found a solution: Listen for Her/Us/TheUniverse to “tell” me. I’m not talking about psychosis or schizophrenia, but listening to powerful intuition, emotional feedback, and synchronicity. More below the break  (huh?).

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MT. HOOD, OR–”The less there is of me, the more there is of Her.” I’ve said this many times over the years, but now it has become almost everyday life. Synchronistic events happen to me constantly: multiple times a day, everyday.

Take today for example… More below the break (huh?).

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JOHN DAY DAM, WA–Yesterday, on the phone with Jim, I was telling him how I wasn’t sure if the truck is for me. He said I should just find a cabin on a lake and rent it for a few months. That resonated with me.

This morning, as I was looking at the stats of this website, I saw that someone had found my site by searching for the words, “for i have found the teacher of truth.” Curious, I plugged it into google (click the link above) and my website came up as the only hit. I clicked the link, since I was pretty sure I never wrote those words, and it turned out to be a comment from our own Ms. Q from South Africa, a long-time reader of this blog.

More surprising was the date, exactly one year ago today (September 1). More surprising still, was the content of the post where I was announcing for the first time what was happening to me after my personal self had dropped.

It’s taken awhile, but I’ve learned to listen to Her. I closed my laptop and drove down to my “cabin on a lake.” Seems like the perfect time and place to help dig out this little pebble of mine.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–As I was sitting at a light yesterday, a guy jumps out of his car, runs over to me and says, “Hey, you’re truck’s spraying diesel from your engine!” (Bad Luck).

Sure enough, there was this huge hole in my engine shooting diesel fuel all over the place.

Actually, it was just a little hole where a bolt fell out, but in the middle of traffic with a heat index of 120, your mind pictures all these worst case scenarios and holes where they shouldn’t be just look bigger.

More below the break. (What does “below the break” mean?)

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NEWPORT NEWS, VA–Consistently, when faced with a problem, I am finding that if I just do my research and then put off fixing/deciding/acting, within a couple of days I will see something that will trigger a powerful, right-feeling, answer.

Nothing magical about it. You’ve probably heard of this before. But what I am finding interesting is how reliable it is. Before, Wayne Wirs used to feel proud when he would figure out a problem with his brain. It made him feel smart and special.

Now I find it much more rewarding (and a powerful reinforcement of our “connectedness) when I just let go and let Her show me the way.

It has happened so often over the last year that I no longer consider it mystical–just a simple, natural (though not easily explainable), aspect of life.

I love it.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA–(PARENTAL WARNING: If you are the parent of a stupid and/or accident-prone child, you are advised NOT to read the following article.)

As I’ve often said on this blog, I am a very lucky man. Being very lucky makes up for most of my stupidity and casual attitude toward danger. For an example of this Stupid/Luckiness Yin/Yang-type dualism, see my “Diabolical A/C Removal Project” below the break. (What does “below the break” mean?)

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NEWPORT NEWS, VA–For the last week or so, I have been running from place to place, trying to find hard-to-find parts, assemble them, realize my mistakes, return them, and repeat.

Every day I’ve said to myself (because I need the income), “Tonight, I’m going to write code.” Every night I’ve been too beat to sit at the computer and crunch out software. Instead I veg out, sleep, and repeat.

My mind just works better in the morning.

So as much as possible, I’m trying to write code in the mornings and save the grunt work for the afternoons and evenings. I may not get the truck as camper-ready as quickly as I’d like, but the balance is definitely much more healthy.

I even get bonus material: Though I shouldn’t be surprised by this (I am still amazed it happens so regularly), every time I drop the “trying to make it happen” attitude – ideas, hard-to-find-parts, and resources seem to naturally (even effortlessly) appear on their own.

POWELL, AL–On the drive north to my friend Doug’s place the other day, I decided that yes, I was going to sell the RV and get a step-van or box truck and outfit it as a stealthy RV. I have been wrestling with this idea for months. I like the idea of being able to go anywhere, stay anywhere, and not have to make plans on where I will camp or for how long. The freedom to go to where I am drawn without restrictions. Sort of like the Peace Pilgrim but with a computer, bed and wheels.

Anyway, not five minutes after I made this decision, while stopped at a light in Oxford, AL, a guy in a pickup truck pulls up next to me and shouts over, “Hey, you want to sell your camper?” This has happened a grand total of zero other times in my life, so I took it as a sign that I had made the right decision.

I pulled over, let him look at my rig, gave him my number (his father is looking for a used RV), and continued on my way.

COE EAST BANK CAMPGROUND, CHATTAHOOCHEE, FL–Since I had taken the RV out of storage and been on the road again (only a little over two weeks now), the RV has been running very rough. At first I thought it was just old gas or maybe condensation in the tank, but, as I found out yesterday after taking her into the Ford dealer in Live Oak (FL), it’s a bad ECU (engine control unit)–a little computer that monitors and maintains various functions in most vehicles on the road today.

The bad news is that they did a national search for this little bugger and there just aren’t any to be found (my RV is a 1994). More bad news is that in order to fix her, they need to pull the ECU, ship it off for repair and maybe have it back in two weeks (maybe a month). Two weeks (a month!) with no place to live since the RV can’t be driven without the ECU. Miserable.

So I looked online and within a couple minutes found the exact part I needed. I could either drive down to Davie, FL and pick it up (a day and a half there and back), or they could ship it to me for Monday delivery. I decided I’d find a place to camp the RV, drive down to Davie in the jeep and be up and running the next day.

More bad news–bizarre news even–was that I couldn’t find a single place in town (or even near town) that had a site for two nights. There was a big concert going on and I guess big concerts in little towns are a big thing. I tried at Stephen Foster (where I had stayed the last few nights), but no luck. I tried another place that said they had only one site open for two nights, but they couldn’t hold it. When I got there a half hour later, it was taken. I even tried this little campground with lots of empty sites on the far outskirts of town, and when I said I’d be running down to S. FL overnight, she looked at me as if I had just shot her dog and said you can’t store your RV here. I said, “But I’ll be back tomorrow!” She crumpled up the paperwork she had started to fill out on me and gave me that I’ve-got-a-shotgun-right-here-behind-the-counter look.

Everything was going against me.

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DEERFIELD BEACH, FL–Heading north to the middle of the state tomorrow morning. Going to stay in a state park for a couple days and then maybe onto some private land. Two different people in the area have offered to let me “camp” on their land up there. It’s wonderful how things fall together when you get out of the way.

On that note, the condo I was staying in at Deerfield sold. Mary, whom I was house-sitting for, said she loved the fact that I was care-taking the place. It gave her lots of peace-of-mind knowing that it was being kept clean, dusted, maintained and watched over.

The main reason it sold though, was because one time I was accidently around when a realtor came by and I was able to answer most of the prospective buyer’s questions. Turned out that realtors just don’t have all the answers that buyers ask at a showing, and–having stayed there–I did. Being a “disinterested but knowledgeable” party turned out to be a big plus for the buyer (I was even invited to their place whenever I’m in Chicago).

Being there to answer their questions was probably what sold the condo after it sat stagnant on the market for over a year.

With such a down real estate market, there’s probably quite a demand for honest caretakers.

A couple of days ago, while exploring the Olympic Peninsula and while reflecting on my brother’s unusual (for him) and spontaneous decision to fly out here, the thought popped into my mind, “Jeff’s here for a reason.”…

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Jung defined synchronicity as meaningful coincidences. He also found that the more whole a patient became – “whole” as in psychologically accepting of their own nature – the more often synchronistic events would occur in their lives. Many spiritual seekers also find synchronicity prevalent in their lives, probably due to the relaxing of the ego. I have long suspected that, to quote myself, “the less there is of me, the more there is of Her.” “Her” being God/Spirit/Source…

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I drove to the local BLM (Bureau of Land Management) to pick up some maps of the area. I’ve decided to do some boondocking and wanted to know where I could stay. They are closed Saturdays, but as luck would have it, a ranger pulled into the lot just as I was about to leave…

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