BLUEWATER STATE PARK, NM
April 9, 2017 7:17 AM
As the movie finished, I clicked over to Amazon to see if anyone had reviewed The Serenity Technique. C. Larson had. And it was so beautiful, so insightful. Where Amazon asked Was this helpful? I clicked Yes and wished I could do more.
Filled with that odd glow of feeling appreciated, I went to sleep and fell into that vast, formless state—the place of Love and Awareness but no Time.
I awoke filled with insights and dumped them into the voice recorder on my phone. So many things—so many ideas to share—yet I (feel, know, sense) that I’m running out of time. The pressure, the desire, the futility. It’s disheartening.
With that residual feeling of dread, I pulled up The Serenity Technique on Amazon again.
No new reviews.
I felt the Contraction—the disappointment, the doubts, the pain.
And as I lay there in bed, in the Contraction, I applied The Serenity Technique and I saw the message slam down the pneumatic tube next to me:
WE HATE YOUR WORK WAYNE! YOU’RE A LOSER! GIVE IT UP! NO ONE CARES!
And I gave the message its due and I let it sit there in all its anger and hostility and I moved it to the OUTGOING tube and pressed the button and watched it vanish down through the imaginary office floor in my imaginary mental world.
Why does that hurt? I asked myself. Why do I care? And I felt the love for myself, for my message, for my being and reveled once again how long it’s taken me to love me/myself (whatever that is) and I felt that same glow that I felt when I went to bed last night.
And, feeling that loving glow, I looked out through the side window at the beauty: the lake softly glowing with the pre-dawn sky; the water still and glassy. The bed was warm and comfortable—made all the better by the cool morning air and I expanded into it all—through the glowing Love I felt within and for myself. And I felt the Love out-there-in-here all wondrously connected and I thanked—gratefully thanked—all the readers who’ve NEVER reviewed or shared my work over the years for helping me into this beautiful place this peaceful and radiant morning.
And feeling that loving, connected glow, I climbed out of bed and typed this post.
I’m so happy.