The Recurring Tasks In My Life

The Bench at the North Rim

The Bench at the North Rim

FLAGSTAFF, AZOn the last day of every month, I download all updates to my software programs, operating systems, and mobile apps. I do this on the last day of the month because Millenicom re-starts their usage meter on the first. If the updates bump me over the usage limitation, it won’t affect me more than 24 hours.

On the first of every month, I update the Favorite PhotosTestimonials, and Donation Totals on this blog, as well as clear the cache and optimize the database to keep it running as efficiently as possible.

I also transfer any income from book sales or donations from my PayPal account to my regular bank account.

Next, I ruthlessly prune photos I took two months ago but didn’t use or particularly like and dump the remaining to an external hard drive. I then delete these backed up photos from my computer to free up disk space. I keep two months of photos on my computer so I always have a cache of images to call upon if I don’t have a daily one for the blog posts.

Finally, I pull out the storage containers from under my bunk and unhook my third jerry can of water, swapping it out for one of the two jerry cans that I rotate between regularly during the month. This keeps all the water jugs in rotation.

Every Sunday I dump anything in my “idea collection boxes” (my phone’s voice recorder and OmniFocus’ Inbox) to either OneNote (if it’s an idea) or OmniFocus (if it’s a task), then review all my OmniFocus tasks and flag anything I want to work on this week.

I then click over to my “Weekly” email folder and answer any emails that I received during the week that I felt needed a deeper response than I was ready to give when I received it.

I then backup my hard drive using Apple’s built-in Time Machine.

Every evening, in bed, I do my personal Emptiness practice which entails releasing any mental contractions (me-me-me) and expanding into the Vastness until I fall asleep. This functions as my daily meditation and helps keep me grounded.

During the day, I mostly live in Radiance, with the Eternal quality always present to remind me not to take any of this too seriously.

And so it goes.

Posted in Day in the Life, VanDwelling

Progress and Motivation and Spiritual Growth

The Photographer and the North Rim

The Photographer and the North Rim

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Progress is slow on the new website I’m designing. I’ve spent the last two days buried deep in technical pages while researching various open-source packages.

And while not a line of code has been written, I’ve still learned a lot. I’ve grown. And because I’m learning all this new stuff, it’s keeping me motivated.

Though no code has been written, I’ve progressed.

For about 20 years I did the, “Who am I?” inquiry that Ramana Maharshi advocated. This question is designed to reveal the core of the Self (if you can see it, it’s not you). 20 years of my life, yet I never felt rewarded. I never progressed much with the technique.

I suspect most students of traditional non-dual teachings feel the same. The drop-the-ego-all-at-once technique is so all or nothing. They don’t see any progress. Just maybe a big bang sometime in the unforeseeable future.

It’s discouraging.

Mystical Oneness—with its gradual approach—is different in that respect. You see and feel progress almost immediately. The Eternal practice helps you overcome fear. The Radiance practice helps you become more loving. The Emptiness practice helps you see through your thoughts.

Day-by-day you feel yourself progressing.

And progress helps keep us motivated.

Posted in Mystical Oneness

Pushing South

Lunch on Mt. Nebo

Lunch on Mt. Nebo

SOMEWHERE N OF KANAB, UT—Though there is much I’d like to see in all these national parks here in southern Utah, I’m compelled to go to ground and get some work done on this new project that’s been gnawing at me. I think I have most of the problems worked out, so I’m excited to get started.

The plan is to visit the north rim of the Grand Canyon today and/or tomorrow, then head down to Flagstaff, find a place to camp for awhile, and get this project whipped together.

If I don’t get called back to Florida this winter, then maybe I’ll hit the Utah parks this spring. We’ll see.

Posted in VanDwelling

The Unknowable Nature Of Self

A Field Not In Utah

A Field Not In Utah

PROVO, UT—Even if this idea of mine takes off (and why wouldn’t it?), I’ll still be blogging about Mystical Oneness and helping those I can.

The following is from a Google+ conversation between Michelle and I on how undefinable the sense of “you” becomes at the level of Mystical Oneness, but this is the key bit of text:

From Emptiness, you are the space that everything arises in.

From Radiance, you are the center from which the Love/Light shines into this world.

From the Soul, you are the eternal vehicle which operates in the world.

From the Mortal, you are the physical vehicle which operates in the world.

But really, you are ALL these things, and flow between the states.

Michelle Sep 15, 2014

The emptiness and nothingness is so VAST. The gaps are greater. I feel like less. I feel more hollow. Focusing on the present and the connections with what’s around me now helps a lot. That’s what makes me smile.

Wayne Sep 16, 2014

Yes. Look towards any self boundaries and see if they are real. Note, this is strictly related to the Emptiness quality. Radiance and Soul do have boundaries.

Michelle Sep 18, 2014

Oops, I didn’t see this last one. That’s good, I’ll work on it. Otherwise nothing much has changed.

Yesterday I didn’t listen to her. I drove 25 minutes south after work because I was supposed to meet someone, even though she told me I shouldn’t. After I picked up some food and was waiting for her to text me, the meeting she was in at work went too late and she couldn’t meet me. So I essentially drove all that way for nothing. Lesson.

Wayne Sep 18, 2014


Michelle Sep 19, 2014

No i actually can’t see a boundary on the emptiness level. It’s all the same there. Only on the other levels. 

Wayne Sep 20, 2014

So, put some thought into this: Who/What are you?

Michelle Yesterday 12:22 PM

An observation that came to me this morning in more of a sensation was that I must be the space wherein my thoughts happen. This makes logical sense, too, because my thoughts obviously aren’t what perceives everything around me, and the fact that the boundaries don’t exist on the emptiness level.

Michelle Yesterday 12:23 PM

I’ll have to sit with this and see if it can become more real, though. It doesn’t feel very real right now.

Michelle Yesterday 12:24 PM

Well, somewhat real. But not real enough.

Wayne Yesterday 7:58 PM

Excellent observation.

From Emptiness, you are the space that everything arises in.

From Radiance, you are the center from which the Love/Light shines into this world.

From the Soul, you are the eternal vehicle which operates in the world.

From the Mortal, you are the physical vehicle which operates in the world.

But really, you are ALL these things, and flow between the states.

Does that make sense? Does it jive with your experiences?

Michelle Yesterday 10:39 PM

That makes perfect sense, yes. Again, a reminder that it’s okay to have all of these centers at different times.

Michelle Yesterday 10:40 PM

I also got a little bit of the sense that action happens in the space too.

Wayne 8:12 AM

Yes. Everything arises from that space.

Over 2000 years ago Lao Tzu said: The Tao is the source of the ten thousand things.

That space, Emptiness, is what he was talking about. It is the Tao. It is the Source. It is Her before she manifests.

And of course, you are that.

Wayne 8:15 AM

The sense of action, of movement. I often like to visualize myself like a current in the ocean. Sometimes I’m a tiny current. Sometimes I’m like the entire ocean. :)

What I’m trying to get to here is to help you find comfort in the flowing, undefinable nature of what you are. You are not a fixed thing, you are an activity, a verb, a movement… a moment.

Hope that helps.

Wayne 8:20 AM

… a moment… and an eternity. :)

Posted in Mystical Oneness


Evergreens and Aspens

Evergreens and Aspens

JORDANELLE RESERVOIR OVERLOOK, UT—I made camp last night up in the Uinita National Forest. It’s a beautiful area along the Mirror Lake scenic byway in Utah (SR 150), especially with all the aspens turning from green to yellow to red. I love the freedom this van offers—no pre-planning, just go wherever you want, and camp wherever your van will fit.

With no internet connection and no distractions, it gave me time to think about this new idea I’ve been wrestling with—an idea that has nothing to do with spirituality, Mystical Oneness or students (ergo the dilemma).

I wouldn’t be much of a Mystic though, if I were to ignore Her whispers of late:

Translation: From the Eternal perspective (a Mystic’s “95 year-old Wayne”), what’s the risk? Unexpected example of verbal abuse. Unexpected example of physical abuse.

That’s loud enough for me.

My idea has to do with abuse and what I hope is a practical way of curbing it.

A way that anyone can apply.

A way that starts from within.

Posted in Announcements, Duplex Personality, Synchronicity, VanDwelling

The Dual Lives of Modern Enlightened Teachers

The Sun Sets on the Gateless Gate

The Sun Sets on the Gateless Gate

LA BARGE, WY—Years ago, I wrote a post, Why Don’t Enlightenment Teachers Blog?. In it, I (not so subtly) implied that the blissed-out state that most teachers present on stage is not abiding—they don’t take it into their day-to-day lives continuously.

The other day, I came across some evidence from 2008 (thanks Lori) that supports this—that the image that enlightenment teachers present on stage is different than their day-to-day life.

Of particular importance is Adyashanti’s phrase (emphasis mine), “…the underlying virus is still very active and gets activated by the energy that flows through me when I teach.”

In other words, while teaching, an extra energy (what I often call Her) flows through him, yet while not teaching, this energy flow is not consistent (though, as in my case, probably happens quite often).

This simple phrase, “the energy that flows through me when I teach,” and its implications, supports a few things I have been saying (and have often been criticized for) for years:

  • The stage presence of teachers is different than their day-to-day presence. On Stage: more TaoGodHer. Day-to-day life: less TaoGodHer.
  • That there is an “other” (intelligence/energy) operating within those who have dropped the personal self. Ie: the duplex personality—the less there is of you, the more there is of Her.
  • The experience of enlightenment/Oneness is a flowing experience. One’s “center” shifts between more contracted and less contracted states of identity (Mortal/Eternal/Radiance/Emptiness).

I see this as very good news. It makes enlightenment/Mystical Oneness far more practical, and more importantly, far easier for the mind to accept, for those who wish to seek it.

I only wish I had heard about it sooner.

Posted in Best Of, Duplex Personality, Feel of, Integration, Mystical Oneness

The Art of Waiting

The Green River Flows By

The Green River Flows By

LA BARGE, WY—A river flows gently by my door and a nice breeze passes through the van. At 7000 feet, the foliage is already changing, turning red and gold according to their secret timetable. The trees are far wiser about the seasons than I am, so every few days I head a little further south.

I’ve often said how difficult it is to make personal decisions when the personal self falls away. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m torn on which direction to throw my attention: Students, the book, or this new idea that I’m kicking around.

Sometimes when no path is clear, I’ll just flip a coin and abide by Fate, but other times—and this is one of those times—just sitting around waiting seems to be the way to go.

Now “sitting around waiting” sounds pretty boring, but what consciously not acting provides is a sort of space—a stillness—which allows creativity to flourish and the different projects to coalesce and clarify out of the ether.

As ideas come up, I record them and organize them and take notes, but I don’t act on them until I’m certain of which direction to go.

And so I sit in the van and I wait.

And the river, as it has done for countless ages, flows gently by.

Posted in Best Of, Day in the Life, Mystical Oneness, VanDwelling

Muse Interrupted. Moose Interrupted.

Moose Interrupted

Moose Interrupted

TETON NF, WY—The weekend campers had all left, so I had my choice of all the free campsites along the Snake River that I could ever want… but I also had an idea.

Being too creative can be a curse in its own way. You never get anything done.

The muse within is God within, I’m certain of that now. The less there is of me, the more creative I’ve become.

This morning, I awoke with a wonderful idea, and since I do my best thinking while driving, I jumped into the driver’s seat and drove past all those wonderful campsites.

I thought and I planned and, when I found a camp in Wyoming with great connectivity, I researched.

As I was making an afternoon cup of coffee—deep in thought—I looked up to see this moose out my back door. She saw me, waggled her ears and ambled away.

Moose/Muse interrupted.

Damn the mind. Possibly the book, possibly new students, possibly this new idea. I honestly don’t know which way we’ll go.

Posted in Day in the Life, Mystical Oneness, VanDwelling

Existential Angst

Serenity in Grey

Serenity in Grey

ALONG THE SNAKE RIVER, ID—As all the assumptions you’ve made over the years about yourself start to be seen as just stories—as they start to fall away—a deep feeling of existential angst can overcome you.

What is the meaning of your life when everything is seen as temporary, where nothing is permanent, where even the “you” you thought you were is seen as an illusion?

Practically everyone goes through a period of existential angst at some point in their lives, it’s not just limited to spiritual seekers. Most go through a period of depression, “What’s the point of anything? I’m just going to die someday.” They’ll mentally suffer for a period of time, mope about for a bit, then they’ll promptly repress it and go out and find themselves a new car (or job, or spouse, or zip code).

They don’t address their angst, they just cover it up.

Fortunately, if you’ve followed this blog long enough, you know the solution:

Meaning is just an idea that exists only in your mind. Meaninglessness is also just an idea that exists only in your mind.

Both are just concepts—illusions—that exist only in your head.

The only reality is what is happening right here and right now. This moment is all there is.

From some advice I gave Michelle earlier today:

What I suggest when you are feeling the angst is basically Zen’s mindfulness or Tolle’s Now (mixed in with a little mysticism): Focus on what is around you right now. Focus on what you are doing. Anything you focus on (not mental crap), fill it with the Love/Light of Radiance and notice how this connects you with the object. Feel the intimacy with it. Feel how it becomes a part of you, much the way when you touch something, that object becomes a part of you at the point of touch.

Meaninglessness is of the MIND. Physical things are of Reality.

Posted in Best Of, Techniques

The Healing Thing

The Bridge

The Bridge

IDAHO FALLS, ID—In reference to the previous post, reader Rimas asked how I do the healing thing I do. I’m a little hesitant to describe it only because it’s a bit too “woo woo” for my tastes, but in the interest of transparency

Though my technique varies according to the state I find myself in—Mystical Oneness (typical) or No Self (rare)—it always involves the dissolution of the me-thing.

The healing thing I did with my mother a few days ago was similar to what I had done spontaneously while she was in surgery a few years backI/She/We merged/blended with her life force and added to it. This is distinctly different than the No Self version of extracting the disease/damage and taking it into my No Self body that I did in this account.

Basically, the merging method entails slipping into the Emptiness state (seeing and dropping all self contraction/boundaries), focusing on the Light/Life Force within this me-thing, becoming that Light (consciously identifying with it so I can control it), and—in an almost astral projection kind of way—”flying” to and merging with the Light/Life Force within my mother. Once merged, I/She/We expand, brighten and “burn out” anything that doesn’t belong there.

The Identity Block

A theory I have for why this doesn’t work on everyone: My father has fused vertebrae and only one fully functional lung (half of his other lung was surgically removed due to cancer). When I have tried the merging technique with him, I only see a slight increase in his energy level and that only lasts for about a day. But here is a key difference between my mother and father: my father identifies with his bad back and breathlessness—these qualities have become a part of who he believes himself to beand as I’ve posited beforeTaoGodHer won’t mess with a person’s ego (identity).

Posted in Best Of, Duplex Personality, Emptiness, Mystical Oneness, No-Self, The Light

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