Muse Interrupted. Moose Interrupted.

Moose Interrupted

Moose Interrupted

TETON NF, WY—The weekend campers had all left, so I had my choice of all the free campsites along the Snake River that I could ever want… but I also had an idea.

Being too creative can be a curse in its own way. You never get anything done.

The muse within is God within, I’m certain of that now. The less there is of me, the more creative I’ve become.

This morning, I awoke with a wonderful idea, and since I do my best thinking while driving, I jumped into the driver’s seat and drove past all those wonderful campsites.

I thought and I planned and, when I found a camp in Wyoming with great connectivity, I researched.

As I was making an afternoon cup of coffee—deep in thought—I looked up to see this moose out my back door. She saw me, waggled her ears and ambled away.

Moose/Muse interrupted.

Damn the mind. Possibly the book, possibly new students, possibly this new idea. I honestly don’t know which way we’ll go.

Posted in Day in the Life, Mystical Oneness, VanDwelling

Existential Angst

Serenity in Grey

Serenity in Grey

ALONG THE SNAKE RIVER, ID—As all the assumptions you’ve made over the years about yourself start to be seen as just stories—as they start to fall away—a deep feeling of existential angst can overcome you.

What is the meaning of your life when everything is seen as temporary, where nothing is permanent, where even the “you” you thought you were is seen as an illusion?

Practically everyone goes through a period of existential angst at some point in their lives, it’s not just limited to spiritual seekers. Most go through a period of depression, “What’s the point of anything? I’m just going to die someday.” They’ll mentally suffer for a period of time, mope about for a bit, then they’ll promptly repress it and go out and find themselves a new car (or job, or spouse, or zip code).

They don’t address their angst, they just cover it up.

Fortunately, if you’ve followed this blog long enough, you know the solution:

Meaning is just an idea that exists only in your mind. Meaninglessness is also just an idea that exists only in your mind.

Both are just concepts—illusions—that exist only in your head.

The only reality is what is happening right here and right now. This moment is all there is.

From some advice I gave Michelle earlier today:

What I suggest when you are feeling the angst is basically Zen’s mindfulness or Tolle’s Now (mixed in with a little mysticism): Focus on what is around you right now. Focus on what you are doing. Anything you focus on (not mental crap), fill it with the Love/Light of Radiance and notice how this connects you with the object. Feel the intimacy with it. Feel how it becomes a part of you, much the way when you touch something, that object becomes a part of you at the point of touch.

Meaninglessness is of the MIND. Physical things are of Reality.

Posted in Techniques

The Healing Thing

The Bridge

The Bridge

IDAHO FALLS, ID—In reference to the previous post, reader Rimas asked how I do the healing thing I do. I’m a little hesitant to describe it only because it’s a bit too “woo woo” for my tastes, but in the interest of transparency

Though my technique varies according to the state I find myself in—Mystical Oneness (typical) or No Self (rare)—it always involves the dissolution of the me-thing.

The healing thing I did with my mother a few days ago was similar to what I had done spontaneously while she was in surgery a few years backI/She/We merged/blended with her life force and added to it. This is distinctly different than the No Self version of extracting the disease/damage and taking it into my No Self body that I did in this account.

Basically, the merging method entails slipping into the Emptiness state (seeing and dropping all self contraction/boundaries), focusing on the Light/Life Force within this me-thing, becoming that Light (consciously identifying with it so I can control it), and—in an almost astral projection kind of way—”flying” to and merging with the Light/Life Force within my mother. Once merged, I/She/We expand, brighten and “burn out” anything that doesn’t belong there.

The Identity Block

A theory I have for why this doesn’t work on everyone: My father has fused vertebrae and only one fully functional lung (half of his other lung was surgically removed due to cancer). When I have tried the merging technique with him, I only see a slight increase in his energy level and that only lasts for about a day. But here is a key difference between my mother and father: my father identifies with his bad back and breathlessness—these qualities have become a part of who he believes himself to beand as I’ve posited beforeTaoGodHer won’t mess with a person’s ego (identity).

Posted in Best Of, Duplex Personality, Emptiness, Mystical Oneness, No-Self, The Light

The Trouble With Miracles

Idaho Falls

Idaho Falls

IDAHO FALLS, ID—Yesterday, my mother collapsed and was taken to the hospital. The initial tests showed she had a white blood count of 1 (where 10 is normal) and they suspected she had some sort of blood infection.

Last night, I/She/We lay in bed and did the healing thing. Today, they couldn’t find anything wrong with her. Her white blood count was normal at 10.

Were the initial blood tests incorrect? What caused my mother to collapse? Why couldn’t they find anything wrong with her later? Did the healing thing I did actually work or was it just a coincidence?

I have no answers to any of these questions. There are no definitive answers, and that is the trouble with miracles—they are often ambiguous.

I truly don’t know how I feel about these “healings” (another example and another example and another example and a failed example), but since they have all involved my family, I’ll keep doing the healing thing no matter how uncertain I am.

But here is the thing, if (as I so often say) the less there is of you, the more there is of Her is in fact true (and who can doubt this by now), then the more you weaken your ego (via Eternal/Radiance/Emptiness practices) then the more likely “miracles” will become a part of your life.

And when times are desperate, who couldn’t use a little Divine intervention? Practice, practice, practice.

Note: My brother is with Mom, and he has requested that the doctors run another blood test to verify she is OK. I still haven’t heard back from them, but, in the interest of transparency (and I may be offline tomorrow), I wanted to post this “as I know it at the moment.”

Posted in Day in the Life, Duplex Personality, Evidence

An Example of Cosmic Consciousness

The Light on the Water

The Light on the Water

BIRCH CREEK CAMPGROUND, ID— As the you-thing weakens, Cosmic Consciousness becomes stronger and starts to guide your actions while at the same time feeding you information. It is subtle, not necessarily like a separate entity, but more like an intimate part of you that you previously weren’t aware of. I think my ongoing examples speak for themselves, but it is nice to see this happening in Michelle

Michelle. Yesterday 9:47 PM:

(wgw edit: Michelle explains how a Skype call, which she normally wouldn’t have taken (but she listened to Her whispers so she did) which led to an unexpected counseling session. I’m editing to protect the privacy of the other parties.)


It showed me a few things.

  1. The power of synchronicity to bring me to the right place at the right time.
  2. The reality that even an accomplished person who has met a lot of their own unique dreams can be so dissatisfied. The ego often wants more, I suppose. Seeing the evidence is helpful.
  3. The way she shone through me and gave me things to say at the right time. Come to think of it, I wasn’t trying to control the situation and this allowed those to come through.

Something I’m able to do a LITTLE better since last week is surrendering to let her take the reigns more. My mind still tries to get all worked up over the future and scenarios and whatnot… But I can find myself saying, screw it. I feel that this is something I need to learn before I can substantially progress. She kind of told me that, actually.

Michelle. Yesterday 9:50 PM:

I’m still intermittently seeing myself when I have the stillness available. Sliding in and out when I can. There is space here.

Michelle. Yesterday 9:54 PM:

Cool flash I had after I wrote that… I was walking around and felt like I was her, moving through this self. Neat!

Wayne. 11:34 AM:

All wonderful experiences. All excellent examples of your progress. Look how far you’ve come since we first started talking! (One of the reasons I want new students to blog is so they can look back and see their progress).

“I was walking around and felt like I was her, moving through this self.”

I often experience this, though I don’t know WHAT I am during those “walks.” As I pull away all contraction (portal), there is SOMETHING looking out of this body, SOMETHING experiencing all this, but it isn’t the me-thing, and I wouldn’t call it Her either, but some sort of blending of the two. It’s beautiful. I get there by pulling away the contraction, the mental separation, the me-thing, but let me know if you’ve found another way. :)

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Posted in Duplex Personality, Feel of, Mystical Oneness

Creeks and Driving and Writing Flowing Nicely

Leaves Above a Clear Creek

Leaves Above a Clear Creek

BIRCH CREEK CAMPGROUND, ID—With two coin flips, She guided me first left, then right. No thinking, no trying, no deciding. Just surrendering and flowing and going.

Glancing off to the side of the road, She pointed out a free campground with a crystal clear creek, a creek which now babbles pleasantly beside my rig.

The campground is empty.

I’ve begun writing.

And the writing too, is flowing nicely.

Posted in Best Of, Day in the Life, Duplex Personality, VanDwelling, Writing

Flipping My Way South

The Fool on the Hill's View

The Fool on the Hill’s View

SALMON, ID—I’m wanting to go to ground, to get some work done on the book, but Fate/She seems to have other ideas.

As I looked at my various maps and apps yesterday, I thought I had found a forested area outside Salmon to camp, but as I headed up (and I do mean up) the rocky road west of town, its angle became so steep that I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it to even the first “tier” (where I have made camp) had it not been for the traction control on Serenity.

Great views and great connectivity, but no shade (there’s no way I could make it higher to where the trees are) and hot afternoons mean I’ll be moving on this morning. But that’s just the mind making stupid justifications. The truth of the matter is, it just feels off and I’ve learned over the years to listen to those feelings.

There are various routes I can take southward, and the more I look at them the more it seems like trying—like too much effort—and the trying in this case is based on conditioned self-concern, and self-concern (which at its deepest depths is the fear of the unknown) is one of those traits which pulls me out of the serene state I so enjoy.

The key word is conditioned. Conditioned means it happens without even realizing it. It happens unconsciously. I simply find myself trying to control my life (or in this case, my route) without even realizing why. The route I take feels important because the conditioned/habitual self-concern (that bastard) tells me it’s important.

Screw that. When I become aware of the conditioning, I can see through it, and once I see through it, then I am free of it.

So as long as I’m headed in a southward direction, who cares which route I take? Does my life have to follow my plan for me to be happy? Of course not. Let Fate have her way with me, and I’ll gladly follow.

So for awhile, as I come to a forks in the road, each promising a different route south, I’ll just flip my coin and follow Her whims.

Posted in Duplex Personality, VanDwelling

Just Imagine…

The Tree Through The Forest

The Tree Through The Forest

  • A deeper consciousness of oneself
  • A deeper attunement to nature
  • A deeper relationship with the transcendent (the numinous, the divine, the spiritual)
  • Increased creativity
  • An increased sense of freedom

These are not my words (though they could be). I found them in this article

On this book

On Solitude.

Posted in Mystical Oneness, VanDwelling

Why Uploading Your Consciousness Won’t Work

The Selway River

The Selway River

CLEARWATER NF, ID—For years I’ve been hearing people talk about the near future where you will be able to upload your consciousness into a computer and live forever as a sort of “ghost” in the machine.

A lot of people believe this will actually work—uploading your consciousness to a hard drive—but these people also believe that they are their thoughts (which, sadly, is practically everyone).

The Mystic knows that uploading your consciousness into a machine won’t work. Why? Because he knows we are not our thoughts, he knows we are the observer of our thoughts.

Not convinced? Try this little thought experiment:

Imagine the day has finally arrived where we have perfected the technology to upload your consciousness into a computer. Millions of people, while on their deathbeds, have been plugged in, uploaded, and are now living long, healthy, computer-based lives. Down to the last cyber-one of them, they exclaim, “This is great! We live forever!”

“Wonderful,” you say, “Sign me up.”

Immediately after you fork over the $500,000 for the Forever-Me-Me-Me service (to be implemented at the moment of your death), some smart-assed Mystic taps you on the shoulder and says, “Why wait? Why take the chance you could be killed in a car crash on a remote road, too far from a Forever-Me-Me-Me center, and miss your window of opportunity? Why not upload now?”

Good idea, you say, and so you plug yourself in, have yourself uploaded, and the machine comes to life thinking it is you. “It worked!,” the machine-you exclaims, “This is great! I’m going to live forever!”

But there’s a teeny, tiny problem: The machine thinks it is you—that worked as expected—but you are still stuck in your body, looking at the machine which thinks it is you.

“LOL,” the machine says. “It sucks to be you! But don’t worry, I’ll live forever.”

You are not your thoughts. You won’t get “transferred” into the machine even if the machine does have all your thoughts and memories.

The machine is just a cybernetic clone, a copy, a soul-less hard drive. You are much more than that.

You are that which experiences your thoughts.

Posted in Best Of, Soul

All Over The Place

The Field

The Field

CLARKSTON, WA—One of the major advantages to van dwelling (versus typical RV- or trailer-based nomading) is that you know ahead of time that you will find a place to crash for the night no matter where you find yourself—no pre-planning is required, no stress, no energy drain. Pick a direction and go.

On the days leading up to the Labor Day weekend, practically all full-time (non-van dwelling) nomads “go to ground,” claiming a space as their own until the busy weekend is over. This sort of short-term squatting isn’t an issue for a van dweller.

I am, and have been, using the long weekend holiday meandering along beautiful scenic routes (routes where almost all camping areas are filled to capacity) to relocate to a new region where I’ll start my fall migration southward. After I upload this post, the plan is to travel along US 2, which parallels the Clearwater River though Idaho, and on toward Missoula, Montana. Years ago I travelled this route and, as I recall, it was quite beautiful.

Unfortunately, the Clearwater and Lolo national forests are also a cellular dead zone, so, depending on how long I find myself there, I’ll be off the air until I reach the Missoula side some 200 miles away.

Like my van dwelling life where I shift plans and directions constantly and travel wherever I’m pulled at the moment, my creative life has also been pulling me in multiple directions of late:

  • The Awakening of a Mystic book, a historical account from the time between Fading Toward Enlightenment and full integration of Mystical Oneness (around the time of the paradox insight). I don’t particularly like spending time on past events, but I feel it’s necessary in this case to establish my credentials for future works.
  • Spec-ing out a strategy for new students involving an integrated approach to the three qualities (as opposed to one at a time as I did with Michelle) while also requiring them to blog publicly about their experiences (much as I did in my seeker days). If you are interested in becoming a student, please do not start a blog yet, as I’m still working out the details.
  • And a radical and personal experiment in the surrender of non-instinctual self-concerns to overcome deeply ingrained conditioning. This is something I’m doing for my own development, but am already seeing some interesting side effects.

So while offline, I’ll do what I always do in these cases of high creativity: I’ll listen for Her whispers and flow with the Stream.

See you on the other side.

Side note: Just a few minutes ago, I got a message from Michelle (who I hadn’t heard from over the weekend) of her struggles with self-concern while camping. This (unbeknownst to me) was mirrored in my life the last couple days and inspired the third creative direction mentioned above. Bizarre but true. More evidence of the Divine working behind the scenes and the fabled student/”guru” mystical connection.

Posted in Day in the Life, Mystical Oneness, Synchronicity, VanDwelling

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